 Motherhood can be incredible, AND it can be incredibly hard. For so long, the idea that mothers need to sacrifice themselves in order to be good mothers has existed in our society. From the moment we get pregnant, we are already taught to sacrifice (certain food and drinks, clothes, activities) and that only ramps up once the baby is born. However, I’m here to say that motherhood doesn’t always have to be the classic mom meme whose hair is in a messy bun and she is trying to juggle multiple things at once while her eyes have bags under them because she is so tired. It’s taken some time and some learning (You can probably see this if you go and read some of my earlier blogs on motherhood) to know how to set healthy boundaries in motherhood and in our household. These changes have been unbelievably powerful in how I live my life and view my job as a mother. 
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 | Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum. |
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5 Of The Best Unselfish Reasons Why Parents Should Have No Guilt About Scheduled Nap Times
10/30/2022
To preface, I’m not advocating for sleep training or not sleep training. I think that is a decision entirely left to what works best for you and your family.
This article is for those parents who perhaps did sleep train and abide by scheduled nap times and feel guilty about it. Or perhaps they are at the mercy of relatives offering unsolicited advice and critiques about why you feel the need to rush home, prolong family activities, and schedule events around your child’s nap times.
As someone who is still adhering to my son’s scheduled nap times, I’ve sometimes had to justify why the hours from 1:30-3:30 are off-limits. I used to feel guilty, but now I no longer think twice when I say that we can’t because it’s my son’s nap time.
To be fair, I try not to be rigid and if people can simply not change the time, or we have a really fun all day event, we will occasionally forgo my son’s nap. But 80-90% of the time, my son is getting his nap, and I don’t feel guilty or selfish about it at all. Here’s why.
#1 I Need A Break
Perhaps the #1 reason why I follow scheduled nap times is that I NEED a break. I do. I don’t feel bad about that. My son’s scheduled nap times have helped me feel better about our days. They don’t feel like they drag on. I feel better about the time we spend together. I’m happier. I’m less resentful.
And that’s all because I know that for roughly two hours I will get a break.
And like I said I need a break. On top of just the day-to-day stresses of mom life, I spend Monday-Friday being a teacher (enough said, right) and I have some chronic illnesses (Hashimoto’s, Fibromyalgia, and acute chronic insomnia) that leave me begging for some time to rest, lie down, and take a short nap myself.
His nap is my time to refresh and work on my Unicorn Space. I absolutely try not to do chores and instead take advantage of the time to do things that I can’t do while my son is up.
When he wakes up, I’m rejuvenated from my break and the rest of the day is no longer daunting but exciting.
And that’s all because I know that for roughly two hours I will get a break.
And like I said I need a break. On top of just the day-to-day stresses of mom life, I spend Monday-Friday being a teacher (enough said, right) and I have some chronic illnesses (Hashimoto’s, Fibromyalgia, and acute chronic insomnia) that leave me begging for some time to rest, lie down, and take a short nap myself.
His nap is my time to refresh and work on my Unicorn Space. I absolutely try not to do chores and instead take advantage of the time to do things that I can’t do while my son is up.
When he wakes up, I’m rejuvenated from my break and the rest of the day is no longer daunting but exciting.
#2 My Son Needs a Break
Anytime we have decided to skip the nap for the day, my son has become a monster by evening time. He’s cranky, mean, and overtired. I try to apply the MGI and remember that he skipped a nap, but my patience runs thin, especially since I haven’t had a break myself.
Whether my son sleeps for 2 hours, 1 hour, or just quietly rests in his crib, he is getting a break from the stimulation of the world which is important to his development.
Whenever someone questions why I have to do a nap, I’m quick to quip back, “Do you want to deal with a toddler tantrum and meltdown? Because I certainly can allow you to take care of him when he is guaranteed to go crazy.”
Why would anyone want to deal with that? My son included. It’s not fair to him. Thus, I give him the break he deserves.
Whether my son sleeps for 2 hours, 1 hour, or just quietly rests in his crib, he is getting a break from the stimulation of the world which is important to his development.
Whenever someone questions why I have to do a nap, I’m quick to quip back, “Do you want to deal with a toddler tantrum and meltdown? Because I certainly can allow you to take care of him when he is guaranteed to go crazy.”
Why would anyone want to deal with that? My son included. It’s not fair to him. Thus, I give him the break he deserves.
#3 I Thrive On Routines
Routines, rhythms, systems, or whatever fancy word they are calling predictability nowadays make me happy and help me thrive as a mother. They help my day flow.
I typically have a morning routine, nap routine, afternoon routine, and a bedtime routine. And, of course, as a teacher, we naturally have routines embedded into our day as well.
My day typically goes better when I follow my routines, and I have somewhat of an idea of what will happen.
Scheduled nap times help with my routines. Science even shows the benefits of routines.
I typically have a morning routine, nap routine, afternoon routine, and a bedtime routine. And, of course, as a teacher, we naturally have routines embedded into our day as well.
My day typically goes better when I follow my routines, and I have somewhat of an idea of what will happen.
Scheduled nap times help with my routines. Science even shows the benefits of routines.
#4 My Son Thrives On Routines
Toddlers thrive off routines as well. Predictability is what helps them make sense of the world. My son definitely falls into that category.
He loves to have an idea of what the day will look like ahead of time, and his nap is what helps break his day into two distinct parts. There’s what comes before the nap and what comes after.
Sticking to a scheduled nap time each day lets my son know what to expect. He is happier and less stressed knowing that he’ll get his nap every day.
He loves to have an idea of what the day will look like ahead of time, and his nap is what helps break his day into two distinct parts. There’s what comes before the nap and what comes after.
Sticking to a scheduled nap time each day lets my son know what to expect. He is happier and less stressed knowing that he’ll get his nap every day.
#5 My Relationship With My Husband Is Better
Scheduled nap times allow my husband and I to enjoy each other’s company alone. To be fair, we don’t always spend the time together. I tend to read or blog. He leans more to watching TV shows I don’t like, but we are together and occasionally will both watch shows we like or talk.
But here’s how it helps our relationship immensely - WE AREN’T AS STRESSED! Because we both got a break. And when we are both not stressed, we are nicer to one another and our child.
We both have come to a mutual agreement that scheduled nap times are a priority for us. There is no confusion around it, and in return, our relationship doesn’t suffer.
We enjoy each other more.
But here’s how it helps our relationship immensely - WE AREN’T AS STRESSED! Because we both got a break. And when we are both not stressed, we are nicer to one another and our child.
We both have come to a mutual agreement that scheduled nap times are a priority for us. There is no confusion around it, and in return, our relationship doesn’t suffer.
We enjoy each other more.
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These are all reasons that work for us, and if you are someone who is feeling guilty around nap times feel free to use these reasons to validate your actions to yourself and others.
Scheduled nap times don’t have to feel confining. In fact, they are more freeing to me.
But again, do what works for you and your family.
For my family, you won’t be seeing us during the hours of 1:30-3:30 because I’ll be happily resting over here.
And for more positive parenting strategies and help with building a naptime routine, learn more about my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Parenting Checklists for Life's Hard Moments.
Scheduled nap times don’t have to feel confining. In fact, they are more freeing to me.
But again, do what works for you and your family.
For my family, you won’t be seeing us during the hours of 1:30-3:30 because I’ll be happily resting over here.
And for more positive parenting strategies and help with building a naptime routine, learn more about my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Parenting Checklists for Life's Hard Moments.
| | Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum. |
ROUTINE:
Children like routines. This is for good reason! Routines have been found to:
- Lower stress
- Increase confidence
- And make them feel smarter.
REMAIN:
Remain loving but firm with boundaries. Kids become dysregulated when they feel like they are the ones calling the shots and controlling things. A confident mom will keep boundaries in check.
REASSURE:
Reassure your kids that ALL their feelings are valid, no matter how big they are. Reassure them they are safe and their feelings don’t scare you.
REFILL:
Refill your children’s attention cups with time-ins. Spend time each day with your kids for, at least a little bit of time, without any distractions.
REPAIR:
Repair when you made a mistake. Show your kids that you are human and that sometimes you yell and lose your temper. Show them that repairing is normal. Everyone messes up from time to time.
RESTORE:
Restore things back to order after your child has had a tantrum or hard times by teaching them strategies to use next time they have big feelings. I call these strategies greenlight strategies.
REST:
Take them to rest yourself. Good mothers know when to rest and know not to feel guilty about resting.
RECHARGE:
Good mothers recharge by going out with friends, exploring your passions, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space.
RESILIENCE:
Our children MUST learn how to be resilient in order to find success and overcome the obstacles they will face as a human. If we sweep in to save our children from every bit of difficulty, we actually do them a disservice. We send the message that when life gets tough, someone will always help you out of it and that failure is a scary and negative thing.
In reality, one of the best things we can do for our children is to allow them to struggle, as it provides the chance to reframe failure. Every hard moment or struggle is an opportunity to learn resilience!
In reality, one of the best things we can do for our children is to allow them to struggle, as it provides the chance to reframe failure. Every hard moment or struggle is an opportunity to learn resilience!
REDUCE:
Less is more has been my mantra in parenting lately.
There has long been the narrative that moms have to be tired, burnt out, and stressed, running around like a chicken with its head cut off (do people still use this idiom?). TV shows often depict a mom as being forgetful, clumsy, disoriented, and disheveled.
While motherhood is certainly hard, and there are days where we are surviving instead of thriving, the overall theme of motherhood doesn’t have to be this way.
Once we start to shift our mindset to less is more, we will start to see parenting to be more enjoyable. Reduce the number of toys, commitments, screen time, and clutter.
There has long been the narrative that moms have to be tired, burnt out, and stressed, running around like a chicken with its head cut off (do people still use this idiom?). TV shows often depict a mom as being forgetful, clumsy, disoriented, and disheveled.
While motherhood is certainly hard, and there are days where we are surviving instead of thriving, the overall theme of motherhood doesn’t have to be this way.
Once we start to shift our mindset to less is more, we will start to see parenting to be more enjoyable. Reduce the number of toys, commitments, screen time, and clutter.
READ:
Read to your kids. Reading builds knowledge.
RESEARCH:
Good moms do their research when it comes to parenting.
REFLECT:
Then, reflect. Not everything you see on social media and the internet is right for you and your kids. Reflect on whether what you learn is right for your family. Reflect on if what you are already doing is working. Reflect on whether you need a change.
RECORD:
RECALL:
Then, next time you encounter a hard parenting moment you can use your list to recall what works for your children. Good moms are constantly learning.
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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Have you ever yelled at your kids and then felt guilty about it later? We’ve all done it. Our kid repeatedly does the same thing we asked them not to do over and over, so we snap. We see our kids’ eyes bulge and swell with tears. We see the fear. They cower and run away.
Even though we might feel guilty, they’ve stopped doing what we ask them to do. So maybe yelling does work, we think. But, then our toddlers are back to throwing their toys the next day. And because we don’t know what else to do, we yell.
But, in this blog, you are going to learn how printable checklists can actually help you reduce yelling. When you have the right strategies and tools at your hand, you won’t need to resort to yelling and the next time your kids irk you to no end. You can say goodbye to screaming at your kids because you’ll know exactly what to do.
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Why Doesn't Yelling Work?
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Sure, yelling works in the moment, but it isn’t a long term solution. Why?
When we yell, what skills are we actually teaching our kids? None.
What we are teaching them instead is to get what you want, you need to instill fear in the other person’s eyes. Learning this can eventually lead our kids to value fighting and anger to get what they want and can lead to depression and anxiety in our kids.
Another reason why yelling doesn’t work is when a toddler hears a parent screaming in long, angry systems, their brain starts to become dysregulated and they can’t make sense of what Mom or Dad is saying. They are too young to process what is going on and they are overwhelmed by emotion. That and their lack of impulse control is why they are back to doing the same thing we asked them not to.
Finally, when we constantly yell, we are equating love to fear. For our kids, if they simultaneously fear and love their parents, they might search for that in a partner. And do we want them to marry someone they also fear? Absolutely not.
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When we yell, what skills are we actually teaching our kids? None.
What we are teaching them instead is to get what you want, you need to instill fear in the other person’s eyes. Learning this can eventually lead our kids to value fighting and anger to get what they want and can lead to depression and anxiety in our kids.
Another reason why yelling doesn’t work is when a toddler hears a parent screaming in long, angry systems, their brain starts to become dysregulated and they can’t make sense of what Mom or Dad is saying. They are too young to process what is going on and they are overwhelmed by emotion. That and their lack of impulse control is why they are back to doing the same thing we asked them not to.
Finally, when we constantly yell, we are equating love to fear. For our kids, if they simultaneously fear and love their parents, they might search for that in a partner. And do we want them to marry someone they also fear? Absolutely not.
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​Why Do We Yell? ​
But why do we, as parents, still yell even if we know it doesn’t work and we feel guilty about it later?
For some, it’s because that’s what our parents did, and we don’t know any better.
For others, parenting is exhausting. At the end of the day, when we want something to stop, we just use what works right there and now and that could be yelling.
We don’t have a well-stocked toolkit and guide that teaches us what to do instead. Parents aren’t given a class on how to not yell at their kids. If they want to do that, they have to a.) Already know that yelling doesn’t work and b.) Seek out research themselves. No one at the hospital tells them this stuff.
Let’s stop blaming parents for the lack of information and resources involving parenthood.
When we are in a tense situation where our brains are overwhelmed from the day, our kids are melting down and overwhelmed themselves too, it’s hard to think.
So we yell…
And the cycle repeats itself.
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For some, it’s because that’s what our parents did, and we don’t know any better.
For others, parenting is exhausting. At the end of the day, when we want something to stop, we just use what works right there and now and that could be yelling.
We don’t have a well-stocked toolkit and guide that teaches us what to do instead. Parents aren’t given a class on how to not yell at their kids. If they want to do that, they have to a.) Already know that yelling doesn’t work and b.) Seek out research themselves. No one at the hospital tells them this stuff.
Let’s stop blaming parents for the lack of information and resources involving parenthood.
When we are in a tense situation where our brains are overwhelmed from the day, our kids are melting down and overwhelmed themselves too, it’s hard to think.
So we yell…
And the cycle repeats itself.
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What to Do Instead? ​
So what do we do instead of always falling back on yelling and punishments?
We need to have research-based and proven strategies that work in our toolkit. We need to teach kids skills for what to do when they get angry and want to throw or how to handle feelings of frustration and being told no.
Because, sure, we can provide consequences and yell all we want, but don’t we want to teach our kids not to do the things they are doing that require yelling and consequences?
I call these Green Light Strategies. These are strategies that are setting our kids up for success, helping them build the skills to handle emotions, and shifting our parenting from playing defense to playing offense. Green Light Strategies will actually save you time.
I have 70+ of these strategies in my toolkit that I can pull out at any time for all types of hard parenting situations.
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We need to have research-based and proven strategies that work in our toolkit. We need to teach kids skills for what to do when they get angry and want to throw or how to handle feelings of frustration and being told no.
Because, sure, we can provide consequences and yell all we want, but don’t we want to teach our kids not to do the things they are doing that require yelling and consequences?
I call these Green Light Strategies. These are strategies that are setting our kids up for success, helping them build the skills to handle emotions, and shifting our parenting from playing defense to playing offense. Green Light Strategies will actually save you time.
I have 70+ of these strategies in my toolkit that I can pull out at any time for all types of hard parenting situations.
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How to Use the Printable Checklists Framework?
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But how do I remember all of them? I use the Printable Checklist Framework. That is choosing from a list of strategies that have been proven to work and then applying them to your family.
Through trial and error, consistency, and repetition, you test these strategies out for a couple of weeks. If they work, you write them down on a checklist, print out the checklist, and put the checklist in an accessible location.
When you have a hard parenting moment, you then reference the list and run down the checklist until something works:
The Printable Checklist Framework works because it makes you feel confident and calm that you have a whole list of strategies right in front of you that work!
You are no longer searching the depths of your brain to figure out what to do, only to cave and resort to yelling because you become so frazzled.
Instead, you have a checklist of protocols like any confident person in their profession (pilots, nurses, teachers, doctors).
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Through trial and error, consistency, and repetition, you test these strategies out for a couple of weeks. If they work, you write them down on a checklist, print out the checklist, and put the checklist in an accessible location.
When you have a hard parenting moment, you then reference the list and run down the checklist until something works:
- You child won’t eat.
- Your child hits or throws.
- Your child always says no.
- Your child throws a tantrum.
- Your child won’t go to bed.
- Your child is scared/anxious.
- Your child won’t play independently
The Printable Checklist Framework works because it makes you feel confident and calm that you have a whole list of strategies right in front of you that work!
You are no longer searching the depths of your brain to figure out what to do, only to cave and resort to yelling because you become so frazzled.
Instead, you have a checklist of protocols like any confident person in their profession (pilots, nurses, teachers, doctors).
​
What is Now What?
But you might be asking what are these strategies and how do I find them? You can spend hours searching Instagram or reading blogs and listening to podcasts, but I have a guide that has them all in one place.
Introducing Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments.
There are 10 Modules. Each module has a variety of strategies with descriptions, videos, scripts, deep dives, and action steps covering all parenting moments that have left you wondering Now What?
You are ready to have strategies in your toolkit that you can access anytime when you are struggling to think of what to do next when you have a hard parenting moment:
*Module 1: My Child Won’t Listen (Greenlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 2: My Child Is Whining (Yellow Light Behavior). Now What?
*Module 3: My Child is Hitting, Kicking, Biting, Throwing (Redlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 4: My Child Won’t Go to Bed. Now What?
*Module 5: My Child is in the Middle of a Tantrum. Now What?
*Module 6: My Child Won’t Eat. Now What?
*Module 7: My Child is Scared/Anxious. Now What?
*Module 8: My Child Prefers One Parent. Now What?
*Module 9: My Child Gives Up Easily. Now What?
*Module 10: My Child Won’t Play Independently. Now What?
*Bonus Module: Some Thoughts on Screen Time
You’ll be able to implement the Printable Checklist Framework and be on your way to never yelling again (let’s be real, we’re human. It will never be 100% never yelling).
​
Introducing Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments.
There are 10 Modules. Each module has a variety of strategies with descriptions, videos, scripts, deep dives, and action steps covering all parenting moments that have left you wondering Now What?
You are ready to have strategies in your toolkit that you can access anytime when you are struggling to think of what to do next when you have a hard parenting moment:
*Module 1: My Child Won’t Listen (Greenlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 2: My Child Is Whining (Yellow Light Behavior). Now What?
*Module 3: My Child is Hitting, Kicking, Biting, Throwing (Redlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 4: My Child Won’t Go to Bed. Now What?
*Module 5: My Child is in the Middle of a Tantrum. Now What?
*Module 6: My Child Won’t Eat. Now What?
*Module 7: My Child is Scared/Anxious. Now What?
*Module 8: My Child Prefers One Parent. Now What?
*Module 9: My Child Gives Up Easily. Now What?
*Module 10: My Child Won’t Play Independently. Now What?
*Bonus Module: Some Thoughts on Screen Time
You’ll be able to implement the Printable Checklist Framework and be on your way to never yelling again (let’s be real, we’re human. It will never be 100% never yelling).
​
You deserve to have the tools to help you reduce yelling at your kids. You deserve to have a system that helps you stay calm and confident. You deserve to get back your time and energy. Print away!
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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Are you a new mom runner who wants to give running a stab? You have the cutest Hoka shoes. You purchased a matching running top and bottom? You bought a brand new running watch. You are all ready to go. There’s just one problem…
What do you do with your kid?
How do you get a nice, solid run in while having a kid in tow who doesn’t scream and dispute your steady flow?
As a mom who has been running with her son for over three years, I have quite a bit of experience with how to run with a kid. I’ve developed some foolproof ways to get kids to enjoy going on a run with you.
After doing your best to prepare your kid for the run ahead, I have 5 ways newbie mom runners can take their kids along for a run.
But first…
The Best Jogging Strollers…
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
# 1 Scavenger Hunt
To get my son excited about the run ahead, I implement a scavenger hunt. I’ll say something like this ahead of time…
“Ohh, I’m excited. We are going on a run. You’re going to be in a stroller. What are we going to find on our run? Can you think of some things?”
Then, we will rattle off all the things we might see…
I’m all about simplicity, so this is all I do, but if you want to get fancy, you can print off or doodle a list with pictures of all the things your kids can find. Then, they can check them off as they find them on the run.
While I’m running, I’ll check in from time to time to see what my son has found. I make sure I exhibit exuberance and toll out praise [link] for each item he finds to keep him interested and engaged.
“Ohhh! You found a mailbox. That’s so cool! Way to go.”
Kids love to feel important and that they have a job. Doing a scavenger hunt makes them feel like a vital member of your run.
“Ohh, I’m excited. We are going on a run. You’re going to be in a stroller. What are we going to find on our run? Can you think of some things?”
Then, we will rattle off all the things we might see…
- Mailboxes
- Dogs
- Birds
- Flowers
- Airplanes
I’m all about simplicity, so this is all I do, but if you want to get fancy, you can print off or doodle a list with pictures of all the things your kids can find. Then, they can check them off as they find them on the run.
While I’m running, I’ll check in from time to time to see what my son has found. I make sure I exhibit exuberance and toll out praise [link] for each item he finds to keep him interested and engaged.
“Ohhh! You found a mailbox. That’s so cool! Way to go.”
Kids love to feel important and that they have a job. Doing a scavenger hunt makes them feel like a vital member of your run.
# 2 End at Playground
I like to start and end a lot of my runs at playgrounds. It gives my child an incentive to complete the run with me.
I use First/Then statements to set up the playground.
“First, we will run. Then, we will go to the playground.”
I keep reminding my son about the playground during the run to get him excited. “Ohh, I just remembered that after the run we will then go to the playground. I’m so excited!”
You don’t always have to end at the playground. My son loves creek play, so we run on a lot of trails that afterwards lead to time playing in the dirt, sand, or water.
I use First/Then statements to set up the playground.
“First, we will run. Then, we will go to the playground.”
I keep reminding my son about the playground during the run to get him excited. “Ohh, I just remembered that after the run we will then go to the playground. I’m so excited!”
You don’t always have to end at the playground. My son loves creek play, so we run on a lot of trails that afterwards lead to time playing in the dirt, sand, or water.
# 3 Have Some Toys in the Stroller
Set your child up for success with a little grab bag of toys. My son likes to take his toy cars for rides.
But colorful doodling tablets, aqua doodles, and any other doodle type thing makes for a great toy to have along for the ride.
A quick note about giving kids screens while in a stroller, I’m a big proponent that a kid needs to learn to be bored and not entertained 24/7. Time in the stroller is a good way for them to learn about the world around them instead of being distracted.
BUT….
If screens keep your kid quiet and help you get in your run, and your run makes you a better person and mom then by all means USE.THE.SCREENS.GUILTFREE. It won’t ruin them.
Looking to wean your kids from screens, start here
But colorful doodling tablets, aqua doodles, and any other doodle type thing makes for a great toy to have along for the ride.
A quick note about giving kids screens while in a stroller, I’m a big proponent that a kid needs to learn to be bored and not entertained 24/7. Time in the stroller is a good way for them to learn about the world around them instead of being distracted.
BUT….
If screens keep your kid quiet and help you get in your run, and your run makes you a better person and mom then by all means USE.THE.SCREENS.GUILTFREE. It won’t ruin them.
Looking to wean your kids from screens, start here
# 4 Take a Bike Along
Not a fast runner or a long distance runner? Take a bike along with you and go to a flat trail. Run while your kid bikes. I’ve done this before.
I’ll run a teeny bit ahead of him, turn around to meet him again, and repeat.
This doesn’t work if you want to go more than 2-3 miles. Your child, especially a younger one, will wear out. But, I have done this practice, and it does work.
I’ll run a teeny bit ahead of him, turn around to meet him again, and repeat.
This doesn’t work if you want to go more than 2-3 miles. Your child, especially a younger one, will wear out. But, I have done this practice, and it does work.
# 5 Give a Choice
It’s easy to want to bribe your child into getting into the stroller, but I advise against this. You can read why here.
Beth of Days With Grey offers this advice on her Instagram.
Beth says this, which I love, “Do what you enjoy with your kids by your side. It may look different, but we can make it work by giving choices.”
Beth of Days With Grey offers this advice on her Instagram.
- Stick with your plan → you are going to go on your run.
- Validate your kid’s feelings if they don’t want to go with you. → “I understand you don’t want to run right now, but this is important to me (link).”
- Offer your kid a choice with something that is a yes for you and win for him. → “Grab a lollipop or your chips, and I’ll meet you in the garage to hop in the stroller.”
Beth says this, which I love, “Do what you enjoy with your kids by your side. It may look different, but we can make it work by giving choices.”
Running (or exercising) will look different with your kids, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. We just need to adapt and be a little bit flexible.
And as always, go back to your greenlight strategies to get your kids more likely to agree (or at least not whine so much) about going for a run with you.
Learn how to implement these strategies with my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments. Try it for free here.
And as always, go back to your greenlight strategies to get your kids more likely to agree (or at least not whine so much) about going for a run with you.
Learn how to implement these strategies with my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments. Try it for free here.
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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Exciting news! I wrote, copyrighted and published a parenting guide, Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, and it is available.
This is my latest passion project that I’ve been working on for almost a year.
What is Now What?
- A 180 page PDF parenting guide to life’s hard moments with your kids.
- Helps you build a checklist of what strategies work for you and your family, so you can access them anytime.
- Now What? recognizes that every kid is different and not every strategy works all the time.
- Here's a sneak peak of what you will find in Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments
*Module 1: My Child Won’t Listen (Greenlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 2: My Child Is Whining (Yellow Light Behavior). Now What?
*Module 3: My Child is Hitting, Kicking, Biting, Throwing (Redlight Behavior). Now What?
*Module 4: My Child Won’t Go to Bed. Now What?
*Module 5: My Child is in the Middle of a Tantrum. Now What?
*Module 6: My Child Won’t Eat. Now What?
*Module 7: My Child is Scared/Anxious. Now What?
*Module 8: My Child Prefers One Parent. Now What?
*Module 9: My Child Gives Up Easily. Now What?
*Module 10: My Child Won’t Play Independently. Now What?
*Bonus Module: Some Thoughts on Screen Time
What Do You Get?
- 10 Modules with strategies
- Videos for each strategy
- Descriptions of each strategy
- Scripts
- Action steps
- Printable Checklists
- Links to expert sources
Who is this for?
Parents, grandparents, caregivers, teachers of kids ages 1-7, but the ideal age is parents with kids ages 1-4 years old.
But I strongly recommend parents with babies ages birth to 1 to get it in order to get a head start.
But I strongly recommend parents with babies ages birth to 1 to get it in order to get a head start.
What is the Price?
$45.
Why Did I Create This?
I remember when I first had Henry, and it was sometimes hard to remember what to do when emotions were high.
So I wrote down the strategies that worked and the next time I had a similar moment, I would run down the list until I found what worked.
That’s what I want for you!
- Crying
- Overwhelmed
- Frustrated
- Loud noises
- Lack of sleep
So I wrote down the strategies that worked and the next time I had a similar moment, I would run down the list until I found what worked.
That’s what I want for you!
- To choose from 70+ strategies in an user friendly PDF guide
- Test and try what works
- Write it down and print it out
- Access it anytime that you have a hard moment.
FAQs
1. I'm pretty busy. Will I have time to do this course?
Of course! I've designed this handbook for busy parents in mind because I'm a busy mom myself. You can take each module at a time. The strategies are short. The videos are short. Use the strategy for a few days. If it works, write it down. Bam you're on your way to success. Also remember these strategies will actually save you time.
2. What if not all the strategies work?
They won't! And that's not because you're doing anything wrong. All kids are different. All moms are different. All families are different. Not every strategy will work 100% of the time. THE PURPOSE IS TO MAKE A CHECKLIST OF WHAT WORKS FOR YOU BY CHOOSING FROM OVER THE 70 STRATEGIES I OFFER. Some of the strategies in the modules I have used and now I don't. Some of the strategies I have used, stopped using, and now use again. Some of the strategies I have used consistently. Try them out, give them a chance, and if they don't work, don't add them to your list. Maybe you can revisit them later. Maybe you won't.
3. Okay, but how much time will I have to actually spend doing the course?
The course is self-paced, with about 30 minutes worth of content per module So, I’d say, schedule about 3-4 max. A small price to pay to build save you time in the long run and to build confident, calm families.
4. What ages is this for?
Ages 1-7. BUT I highly recommend buying even if you have a kid under 1, so you can be prepared. And hey, some of these strategies even work for tweens and teens.
5. Why should I be a member of the Insider's Scoop?
You get weekly emails that explore aspects of parenting. You can ask questions. You'll be part of a small community and won't get lost in the shuffle.
Of course! I've designed this handbook for busy parents in mind because I'm a busy mom myself. You can take each module at a time. The strategies are short. The videos are short. Use the strategy for a few days. If it works, write it down. Bam you're on your way to success. Also remember these strategies will actually save you time.
2. What if not all the strategies work?
They won't! And that's not because you're doing anything wrong. All kids are different. All moms are different. All families are different. Not every strategy will work 100% of the time. THE PURPOSE IS TO MAKE A CHECKLIST OF WHAT WORKS FOR YOU BY CHOOSING FROM OVER THE 70 STRATEGIES I OFFER. Some of the strategies in the modules I have used and now I don't. Some of the strategies I have used, stopped using, and now use again. Some of the strategies I have used consistently. Try them out, give them a chance, and if they don't work, don't add them to your list. Maybe you can revisit them later. Maybe you won't.
3. Okay, but how much time will I have to actually spend doing the course?
The course is self-paced, with about 30 minutes worth of content per module So, I’d say, schedule about 3-4 max. A small price to pay to build save you time in the long run and to build confident, calm families.
4. What ages is this for?
Ages 1-7. BUT I highly recommend buying even if you have a kid under 1, so you can be prepared. And hey, some of these strategies even work for tweens and teens.
5. Why should I be a member of the Insider's Scoop?
You get weekly emails that explore aspects of parenting. You can ask questions. You'll be part of a small community and won't get lost in the shuffle.
Testimonials
Here are what other parents and teachers are saying about Now What? Parenting Guide:
"Module 4- the Sleep module I learned the most from- I feel the strategies in this module were on point and give guidance on what the parent needs to do to set up a successful sleep environment. It did not focus on what the child needs to do. Because we can't control a child's behavior, only our own. so the focus needs to be on what WE can do rather than on how we can control others."
"I really learned a lot from the module discussing green light choice. As a mom and a teacher these strategies would be used several times throughout the day!"
" From toddlers to lower elementary students would gain a lot from this guide."
"Early childhood centers and elementary teachers would benefit from this guide."
"As an early childhood provider I found this course informative and useful. I would recommend this course to my colleagues as well as fellow parents."
"The guide was so easy to follow."
"I actually enjoyed all of the modules and gained valuable information."
"The Checklist format was useful, and focusing on the idea that some will work for your child and some won't, so choose those you want to use, and try them for two weeks. Also the idea of having it written down somewhere to help in the moment they are needed is great."
"Module 4- the Sleep module I learned the most from- I feel the strategies in this module were on point and give guidance on what the parent needs to do to set up a successful sleep environment. It did not focus on what the child needs to do. Because we can't control a child's behavior, only our own. so the focus needs to be on what WE can do rather than on how we can control others."
"I really learned a lot from the module discussing green light choice. As a mom and a teacher these strategies would be used several times throughout the day!"
" From toddlers to lower elementary students would gain a lot from this guide."
"Early childhood centers and elementary teachers would benefit from this guide."
"As an early childhood provider I found this course informative and useful. I would recommend this course to my colleagues as well as fellow parents."
"The guide was so easy to follow."
"I actually enjoyed all of the modules and gained valuable information."
"The Checklist format was useful, and focusing on the idea that some will work for your child and some won't, so choose those you want to use, and try them for two weeks. Also the idea of having it written down somewhere to help in the moment they are needed is great."
Try for Free First
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @Lauren Barrett, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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Toddler tantrums are inevitable. I have talked about this before.
And there are lot of strategies out there on how to handle tantrums, but did you know that there are different stages to a toddler's tantrum and not every strategy works at every stage?
In today's blog, I'll break down each stage of a toddler tantrum and what you should do at each stage. You'll be on your way to calmly handling any toddler tantrum even when they pitch a fit for wanting to eat with the green plate instead of the red plate even though at first you did give them the green plate, but they said they wanted the red plate.
And there are lot of strategies out there on how to handle tantrums, but did you know that there are different stages to a toddler's tantrum and not every strategy works at every stage?
In today's blog, I'll break down each stage of a toddler tantrum and what you should do at each stage. You'll be on your way to calmly handling any toddler tantrum even when they pitch a fit for wanting to eat with the green plate instead of the red plate even though at first you did give them the green plate, but they said they wanted the red plate.
Stages of a Tantrum
Like any good book, a toddler's tantrum follows the same elements of a plot.
First, we have the BEGINNING or EXPOSITION. This is when the reason for the tantrum is introduced. Now, sometimes the tantrum can end before it even started.
Maybe on this particular day they are able to handle it. Maybe you prepped for this kind of thing, and your toddler takes it in stride. That's great! Although this tantrum would make for a very short and boring story, we are thrilled as parents that a toddler was able to happily and healthily move on.
Second, we have the RISING ACTION. The reason for the tantrum is introduced and now our toddler is starting to process what just happened. There might be some reasoning, begging, whining, pouting, stomping, crying, but it isn't all out, although it is ramping up to be.
Again, a tantrum might be stopped somewhere along the line of the rising action.
But, if it is not, we are lead to the CLIMAX of a toddler's tantrum. This is the point where our toddler's brain is totally dysregulated. They can't think clearly. They can't reason. They might not even be able to form sentences. This is an all out meltdown.
Finally, our toddler is going to start to calm down in the FALLING ACTION. This can take a while depending on the intensity of the climax. Again, in this stage they might try to reason with you or beg you. They, might have also gotten all their emotions out and be completely depleted.
Lastly, they will reach a RESOLUTION where they are back to their normal selves and they are able to move on with life.
So, now that we know the 5 stages of a toddler's tantrum what do we do during each stage.
THE BEGINNING OF A TANTRUM
Some common reasons for a tantrum are the following:
- Hunger
- Holding a boundary
- Something unexpected
- Lack of attention
- Wants something
- Frustration
- Transition
- Tiredness
To help a toddler healthily handle those reasons, I like to use a lot of GREENLIGHT STRATEGIES throughout my day.
While greenlight strategies will never totally reduce the number of tantrums a toddler has, they will help reduce them.
Also, remember this. All kids have tantrums. You are not a bad parent if your toddler is having a tantrum. Tantrums are healthy. They are your toddler's way of saying he needs help and this is an opportunity to help him.
But how do we help?
THE RISING ACTION
During the very beginning of the rising action, you want to CALM YOURSELF FIRST. If you aren't calm, you aren't in control. Your toddler is. And toddler's do not like it when they are in control. They really don't.
The second thing to do is HOLD BOUNDARIES. If boundaries aren't held, the tantrum is over and your toddler realizes he can cry harder and longer to get what he wants for next time.
Third, you are going to VALIDATE FEELINGS, VALIDATE THE MAGNITUDE OF THOSE FEELINGS, and use the magic phrase "YOU DIDN'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN."
If the tantrum is still ramping up, you can try strategies such as MAGIC BREATHS - where you both model how to breath and help your toddler take deep breaths. You can use SIGN LANGUAGE to help your toddler calm down. You can also become a BROADCASTER.
Hopefully, those strategies work, but if not, you've reached the CLIMAX.
THE CLIMAX
Dun, dun, dun. You've reached the CLIMAX. Sit back and enjoy with some popcorn because one of the best strategies is to LET IT RIDE.
The CLIMAX isn't the time for trying to ask questions or reasoning or lecturing. Nothing is totally computing and making sense in your toddler's brain.
The best thing to do is just be there. Reassure your toddlers that they are safe, you are here for them, you love them. Nothing is worse for them than feeling like Mommy and Daddy can't handle their emotions.
If my son lets me, I hold him during this time. I MODEL DEEP BREATHS - I don't ask him to though. I might continue using SIGN LANGUAGE or BECOMING A BROADCASTER. But mostly, I just hold and rock him and repeat my own mantra if I'm having a hard time with the tantrum.
I wish you the best and remember your toddler isn't doing this to be bad.
THE FALLING ACTION
Much like in the RISING ACTION, we are going to apply the same strategies but work a little backward. I really like to do some REDIRECTION or CONNECTION WITH HUMOR during this stage.
And, continue to hold those boundaries because our toddlers might try to ask again for something you said No to.
THE RESOLUTION
Our toddlers are back to normal. Now, is the time to teach, repair, scaffold, lecture in a calm, nice way without any guilt or shame.
For every family, this can look differently. The strategies listed above are some of my favorites. They are GREENLIGHT STRATEGIES. We use these strategies to help our kids learn what to do the next time the same problem that caused the tantrum arises.
We are setting ourselves and our toddler up for success!
For every family, this can look differently. The strategies listed above are some of my favorites. They are GREENLIGHT STRATEGIES. We use these strategies to help our kids learn what to do the next time the same problem that caused the tantrum arises.
We are setting ourselves and our toddler up for success!
NOW WHAT?
Not sure what some of those strategies are above or how to apply them?
In my Module: My Child Is In the Middle of a Tantrum. Now What? I break down each strategy with a description and video. I also provide scripts on what you can say. Get it for free here. Or sign up below
In my Module: My Child Is In the Middle of a Tantrum. Now What? I break down each strategy with a description and video. I also provide scripts on what you can say. Get it for free here. Or sign up below
You can also take a deeper dive into Greenlight Strategies and more in my parenting guide: NOW WHAT? MINDFUL CHECKLISTS FOR LIFE'S HARD PARENTING MOMENTS.
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 2x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge and children's book, Henry's Hiccups, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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Having lived in the Triangle area for almost 11 years now (Raleigh and Garner), I’ve visited a fair share of parks in Wake County, and in the last 3 years I’ve really ramped up our visits.
My son was born in 2019. The Pandemic hit in 2020. I’m also a teacher. So we’ve used those times when everything was shut down and the summer to explore all the Greenways and parks in Wake County. As an outdoor mom myself, I really want my son to be an outdoor kid.
I’ve gathered my list of the 11 best parks for Triangle area families to explore. I’ll list the parks and what they have to offer. The list is in no particular order.
My son was born in 2019. The Pandemic hit in 2020. I’m also a teacher. So we’ve used those times when everything was shut down and the summer to explore all the Greenways and parks in Wake County. As an outdoor mom myself, I really want my son to be an outdoor kid.
I’ve gathered my list of the 11 best parks for Triangle area families to explore. I’ll list the parks and what they have to offer. The list is in no particular order.
1. Marla Dorrel Park - Cary, NC
I know I said that I didn’t put these parks in any order, but this might take the number one playground in the Triangle area.
That’s because it has one key word: shade. Almost the entire park is covered in shade which makes it perfect on a hot summer’s day.
Also, the park is conveniently located next to one of Cary’s many Greenways, so if you wanted to take a walk too, you could. It connects to another playground, MacDonalds Woods Park, too.
On the weekdays, this park doesn’t get crowded at all. In fact, we’ve almost had the park to ourselves a couple of times. My son played in the park’s gigantic sandbox, and I read a book. It was perfect.
The playground is divided into three big sections and every section is great in my opinion. One section seems to be for smaller children. The middle section is more for older kids even though my son (3) enjoys this section when it isn’t crowded. The last section seems to be for kids of all ages. This section has the sandbox, swings, and a very accessible musical playset.
There is also a section with a little hill with a dragon feature in it and a green space for kids to run around.
The park also features:
That’s because it has one key word: shade. Almost the entire park is covered in shade which makes it perfect on a hot summer’s day.
Also, the park is conveniently located next to one of Cary’s many Greenways, so if you wanted to take a walk too, you could. It connects to another playground, MacDonalds Woods Park, too.
On the weekdays, this park doesn’t get crowded at all. In fact, we’ve almost had the park to ourselves a couple of times. My son played in the park’s gigantic sandbox, and I read a book. It was perfect.
The playground is divided into three big sections and every section is great in my opinion. One section seems to be for smaller children. The middle section is more for older kids even though my son (3) enjoys this section when it isn’t crowded. The last section seems to be for kids of all ages. This section has the sandbox, swings, and a very accessible musical playset.
There is also a section with a little hill with a dragon feature in it and a green space for kids to run around.
The park also features:
- A basketball court
- Skate park
- Picnic shelter with restrooms
- Multiple picnic tables
- Public art
- Misting garden (LOVE THIS!)
2. Jack Smith Park - Cary, NC
I really like this park for its splash pad, but the overall park does lack shade (Can you tell shade is important to us? Haha).
The splash pad gets turned on mid-May and is free to the public. The splash pad does have tables with umbrellas and a large wall with an overhang for parents to hang out. Restrooms and changing areas/showers are nearby.
The rest of the park features a playground with slides, swings, climbing areas, and those animal seesaw things.
There are also picnic shelters, a dog park, a climbing wall, greenways throughout the park, and public art on display such as the whirligigs, and Suffolk sheep grazing in the fields.
The splash pad can get crowded, so go early to claim your table.
The splash pad gets turned on mid-May and is free to the public. The splash pad does have tables with umbrellas and a large wall with an overhang for parents to hang out. Restrooms and changing areas/showers are nearby.
The rest of the park features a playground with slides, swings, climbing areas, and those animal seesaw things.
There are also picnic shelters, a dog park, a climbing wall, greenways throughout the park, and public art on display such as the whirligigs, and Suffolk sheep grazing in the fields.
The splash pad can get crowded, so go early to claim your table.
3. John Chavis Memorial Park - Raleigh, NC
Newly renovated Chavis Park, for short, is really nice. It’s just what a downtown city park needed.
The views of downtown are great.
My one complaint is that there is very little shade, and it can get HOT in the summer.
The park is centered around the community center which has programs and classes and has a gym, second floor track, and fitness center. The community center opens up into a nice outdoor terrace that overlooks the downtown, the water feature, and playground. Visitors can lounge in the many chairs and tables located throughout the balcony. Again, shade is limited.
Go down the stairs and you get to the water feature. This water feature reminds me of something you would see in downtown NYC. Water basically squirts from the ground to create different size fountains. Kids have fun running through it.
The playground has rubber safety surfacing. The playground includes areas for ages 2 to 5 years and 5 to 12 years, and several features are inviting for teenagers and adults. The playground has adult exercise equipment, a skywalk climbing feature, and nature play elements.
The rest of the sprawling park has an outdoor track, the Historic Allan Herschell Carousel (look up hours because it’s often closed), baseball fields, multipurpose fields, and many places to rent out (meeting rooms, fields, reception hall, picnic shelters, and more).
The views of downtown are great.
My one complaint is that there is very little shade, and it can get HOT in the summer.
The park is centered around the community center which has programs and classes and has a gym, second floor track, and fitness center. The community center opens up into a nice outdoor terrace that overlooks the downtown, the water feature, and playground. Visitors can lounge in the many chairs and tables located throughout the balcony. Again, shade is limited.
Go down the stairs and you get to the water feature. This water feature reminds me of something you would see in downtown NYC. Water basically squirts from the ground to create different size fountains. Kids have fun running through it.
The playground has rubber safety surfacing. The playground includes areas for ages 2 to 5 years and 5 to 12 years, and several features are inviting for teenagers and adults. The playground has adult exercise equipment, a skywalk climbing feature, and nature play elements.
The rest of the sprawling park has an outdoor track, the Historic Allan Herschell Carousel (look up hours because it’s often closed), baseball fields, multipurpose fields, and many places to rent out (meeting rooms, fields, reception hall, picnic shelters, and more).
4. Pullen Park - Raleigh, NC
This might be my son’s favorite park, and it really is a gem. My only complaint is that it can get really, really crowded, which means that you have to keep a close eye on your kids at the playground.
Pullen Park is dubbed an amusement park and looks like one as you walk in. You can really make a day out of this park by renting a pedal boat, riding the carousel, riding the train, and riding the little mini boats that go in a circle. Stop for lunch at the cafe. And then stroll over the bridges and walk alongside the pond and view Japanese inspired trees, resting at the many benches or picnic areas
There are four areas to the playground:
Pullen Park is dubbed an amusement park and looks like one as you walk in. You can really make a day out of this park by renting a pedal boat, riding the carousel, riding the train, and riding the little mini boats that go in a circle. Stop for lunch at the cafe. And then stroll over the bridges and walk alongside the pond and view Japanese inspired trees, resting at the many benches or picnic areas
There are four areas to the playground:
- Swing Area: (All ages) 10 traditional belt swings for all ages, 1 preschool full-bucket seat swing, 1 accessible molded bucket swing, and 1 tire swing
- School Age Climb and Slide: (5-12 years old) 2 universally accessible slides, 6 climbing opportunities, 1 see-saw, and 1 shade structure
- Sand Play: (2-12 years old) 2 sand diggers, 1 accessible sand digger, 2 shade structures, 1 playhouse, Music making equipment and stage, and 1 accessible spring platform
- Preschool Playground: (2-5 years old) Enclosed by a positive barrier of fence and vegetation, 3 slides,1 preschool full-bucket seat swing,1 accessible molded bucket swing, 1 see-saw, stepping stones, and 2 shade structures
- Tennis courts
- Athletic fields
- Arts Center
- Theatre in the Park
- Shelters and Rentals
- Stage and event lawn
- Aquatic Center
5. Lake Benson Park - Garner, NC
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We really like this park. Although it is very closeby to our house, I still would probably visit if not.
The park has three separate playgrounds and a gigantic field where you can catch people playing flag football, frisbee, or tag on a nice day.
There is a trail that runs throughout the whole park. Some of it is paved and the other is not and in the woods. Some of the trails connect to another park, White Deer Park, which makes the list too.
There are shelters for rent and a place where you can rent kayaks or motorized boats which we have done twice and enjoyed. My only wish was that the park had a little beach where we could have docked the boats or my son to have played in the sand.
However, the park does have some good community events such as the Easter and 4th of July events.
The park has three separate playgrounds and a gigantic field where you can catch people playing flag football, frisbee, or tag on a nice day.
There is a trail that runs throughout the whole park. Some of it is paved and the other is not and in the woods. Some of the trails connect to another park, White Deer Park, which makes the list too.
There are shelters for rent and a place where you can rent kayaks or motorized boats which we have done twice and enjoyed. My only wish was that the park had a little beach where we could have docked the boats or my son to have played in the sand.
However, the park does have some good community events such as the Easter and 4th of July events.
6. Lake Crabtree Park - Raleigh, NC
This park is close to being at the top of my favorites. It has everything my son loves - a beach near the lake, trails, and a playground.
It has a lot of things I love too - hiking/walking trails, boat rentals, and I even took my SUP out on the lake.
Other features include:
It has a lot of things I love too - hiking/walking trails, boat rentals, and I even took my SUP out on the lake.
Other features include:
- Gardens
- Open play areas
- Picnic shelters
- Restrooms
- Fishing
- Educational programs
- Bicycling/mountain biking trails
- Bike skills area
- Boating
- Volleyball
7. Peach Road Park - Raleigh, NC
This park is severely underrated, and I doubt many people in the Triangle Area know about it. While it is a humble neighborhood park, which was located right next to my old neighborhood, and doesn’t have the features of the much larger parks we already talked about, it still is a nice little gem.
For starters, it isn’t crowded. Secondly, if you are like me and try to take your kids to diverse parks in order for your kids to play with and see kids of different races, this park is located in a mostly Latinx community and has a cultural center with classes and programs.
The park also has three courts: basketball court, handball court, and futsal pitch (a fast-paced variant of soccer). It also has a multipurpose field.
There are two playground sections. One is for kids ages 2-5 and the other is for ages 5-12. I believe there is a sand pit.
While the kids play, parents can utilize the adult fitness stations.
Lastly, there are some really cool artwork and murals throughout the park.
Don’t sleep on this park.
For starters, it isn’t crowded. Secondly, if you are like me and try to take your kids to diverse parks in order for your kids to play with and see kids of different races, this park is located in a mostly Latinx community and has a cultural center with classes and programs.
The park also has three courts: basketball court, handball court, and futsal pitch (a fast-paced variant of soccer). It also has a multipurpose field.
There are two playground sections. One is for kids ages 2-5 and the other is for ages 5-12. I believe there is a sand pit.
While the kids play, parents can utilize the adult fitness stations.
Lastly, there are some really cool artwork and murals throughout the park.
Don’t sleep on this park.
8. Buffaloe Road Athletic Park - Raleigh, NC
While the playground isn’t the main feature of this park and really isn’t anything special, I like this park for its unique indoor water aquatic center. It has three waterslides, a lazy river, lap lanes, and a wading splash pad area for little kids. It really isn’t that expensive to get in either.
Other than that, the park has lots of baseball fields, a dog park, and an outdoor track.
Plus, it’s conveniently located next to a number of Greenway access points.
Other than that, the park has lots of baseball fields, a dog park, and an outdoor track.
Plus, it’s conveniently located next to a number of Greenway access points.
9. Millbrook Exchange Park - Raleigh, NC
This park has a lot to offer: community center with gymnasium, fitness center, programs and class; tennis courts; dog park; shelters; basketball courts; playground; and baseball and softball fields.
But why we love the park is mainly for its pool. There is an indoor section opened year round where my son took swimming lessons once. Then, the outdoor part is a wading pool and sprayground that is opened seasonally. In the summer, you can bounce back and forth from the indoor, big pool to the outdoor wading pool.
But why we love the park is mainly for its pool. There is an indoor section opened year round where my son took swimming lessons once. Then, the outdoor part is a wading pool and sprayground that is opened seasonally. In the summer, you can bounce back and forth from the indoor, big pool to the outdoor wading pool.
10. Laurel Hills Park - Sassafras All Children’s Playground - Raleigh, NC
Laurel Hills Park has a community center with gym, dance studio, classes and more plus numerous shelters, fields, and courts.
But the main attraction is the Sassafras All Children’s Playground, the creme de la creme of playgrounds.
Taken straight from its description…
The 3.5-acre site includes a playground for children of all abilities and provides a variety of play experiences. The new playground increases the available activity area considerably. In addition to conventional play equipment such as swings and slides, the playground also features unique elements including basketball court with adjustable hoop height, accessible elevated decking, and a pair of 50-foot-long zip-lines.
Warning: It does get crowded.
But the main attraction is the Sassafras All Children’s Playground, the creme de la creme of playgrounds.
Taken straight from its description…
The 3.5-acre site includes a playground for children of all abilities and provides a variety of play experiences. The new playground increases the available activity area considerably. In addition to conventional play equipment such as swings and slides, the playground also features unique elements including basketball court with adjustable hoop height, accessible elevated decking, and a pair of 50-foot-long zip-lines.
Warning: It does get crowded.
11. Knightdale Station - Knightdale, NC
Go for the Splash Pad. Stay for the cute barnyard playground.
I love the Splash Pad. It’s conveniently enclosed, so you don’t have to worry about little kids wandering away. There was a shaded spot for me to sit and watch my son play. I brought snacks and we had a great time.
The playground was cute and had some unique features.
We didn’t explore much else of this park, but you don’t really have to.
I love the Splash Pad. It’s conveniently enclosed, so you don’t have to worry about little kids wandering away. There was a shaded spot for me to sit and watch my son play. I brought snacks and we had a great time.
The playground was cute and had some unique features.
We didn’t explore much else of this park, but you don’t really have to.
Honorable mention - White Deer Park - Garner, NC
This is a sleepy little park located across from much busier park, Lake Benson.
But this park has a natural playground and an actual playground plus a nature center and Greenway trails.
I think this park is great if you’re looking for kids to connect with nature.
But this park has a natural playground and an actual playground plus a nature center and Greenway trails.
I think this park is great if you’re looking for kids to connect with nature.
I hope this list inspires you to get out and enjoy all the parks and recreation the Triangle Area has to offer. They are great places for families to explore. Have fun!
Read More - Why I love Raleigh
Read More - Why I love Raleigh
| | Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 2x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge and children's book, Henry's Hiccups, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram and get her free parenting checklists. |
Do you feel completely overwhelmed at the prospect of potty training your kid? Especially potty training boys?
I’m sure you heard that potty training boys is more difficult than potty training girls and how to potty train a boy or how to start potty training a boy might be a recurring question you’re asking yourself right now.
Potty training is a rite of passage for parents. It is a frequent search in Google with over 63 million results.
And I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be so daunting as the internet or other people make it out to seem. Sure, at times it isn’t easy and can be, frankly, downright hard, but it doesn’t have to be impossible and such a terrible experience.
Take it from me. I potty trained my son and lived to write about it.
In this blog, you’ll get a 7 month guide on how I started potty training my son at 2 years old. You’ll get information on the best potty training supplies to buy, the process I used to get my son to go to the bathroom, mistakes I made, tips that worked, and information on pooping.
Let’s dive right in.
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
Month 1
*If you don’t want to take this month by month, you can take it week by week*
Potty training for me started long before I even put my son on the potty. I wanted to go into it with a solid plan of action and research on my side.
So month 1, I simply read a potty training book and mapped out my plan.
For me, I follow The Mom Psychologist on Instagram and really resonate with her parenting style. When I learned that she had written a book, The First-Time Parent’s Guide to Potty Training, I jumped right on it and bought it.
After reading it, I had a good idea of how potty training implementation would go, and I charted my steps for each month.
For you, you might consider other books, courses, or articles. Either way, use Month 1 to have the knowledge of what you’re going to do.
It’s good to do the research, so you can learn if your kids are physiologically and physically ready to use the bathroom.
Potty training for me started long before I even put my son on the potty. I wanted to go into it with a solid plan of action and research on my side.
So month 1, I simply read a potty training book and mapped out my plan.
For me, I follow The Mom Psychologist on Instagram and really resonate with her parenting style. When I learned that she had written a book, The First-Time Parent’s Guide to Potty Training, I jumped right on it and bought it.
After reading it, I had a good idea of how potty training implementation would go, and I charted my steps for each month.
For you, you might consider other books, courses, or articles. Either way, use Month 1 to have the knowledge of what you’re going to do.
It’s good to do the research, so you can learn if your kids are physiologically and physically ready to use the bathroom.
Month 2
This month was all about introducing the potty to my son. I put a kids potty in my son’s room, and I would reference it.
I wouldn’t make him sit on it. I would just talk about it or casually bring it up.
“Oh, look there is a potty. That’s where you pee and poop.”
You do nothing more this month.
I wouldn’t make him sit on it. I would just talk about it or casually bring it up.
“Oh, look there is a potty. That’s where you pee and poop.”
You do nothing more this month.
Month 3
The focus of this month was reading books related to potty training. I went to the library and scoured the shelves for any and all books on potty training and body parts.
We would read the books, talk about going to the bathroom, and continue to point out the potty in his room.
Again, I never forced my son to sit on the potty. I let him take the reins when it came to that.
We would read the books, talk about going to the bathroom, and continue to point out the potty in his room.
Again, I never forced my son to sit on the potty. I let him take the reins when it came to that.
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Month 4
This month, we added in videos of potty training. We watched cartoons, songs, and real life clips on YouTube of potty training.
We continued to talk about potty training when it came up in everyday conversation. Like when I or my husband had to use the bathroom.
Once again, the potty remained in my son’s room, and he always had the invitation to use it if he liked.
We continued to talk about potty training when it came up in everyday conversation. Like when I or my husband had to use the bathroom.
Once again, the potty remained in my son’s room, and he always had the invitation to use it if he liked.
Month 5
We were getting closer to the actual days of potty training, but we still weren’t ready yet. During this month, we role-played and helped my son build his confidence with potty training.
I used his stuffed animals and acted like they had to use the bathroom. I acted out the steps of going to the potty by having them get the potty feeling, go to the bathroom, pull down their pants, and go! I used water and raisins to act as pee and poop.
We did lots of role-playing this month to prepare my son for his turn to use the bathroom.
I used his stuffed animals and acted like they had to use the bathroom. I acted out the steps of going to the potty by having them get the potty feeling, go to the bathroom, pull down their pants, and go! I used water and raisins to act as pee and poop.
We did lots of role-playing this month to prepare my son for his turn to use the bathroom.
Month 6
This month was the month that we prepared for the Big Day.
Some key points that we talked about this month:
Some key points that we talked about this month:
- Only you know when you have to use the bathroom.
- How to recognize the feeling of having to go.
- What the Big Day would be like and what we would do.
- Signs associated with potty training to help make the process easier.
Month 7
During this month you want to gather your supplies, which I will list below, and pick three days where you and your partner/spouse do not have a lot of obligations and one of you, if not both, can stay at home for most of the day.
Now, you can feel confident that your son is ready to learn to use the potty!
Now, you can feel confident that your son is ready to learn to use the potty!
Supplies
Before the Big 3 Days gather your supplies…
- Stand alone mini potty
- Seat reducer
- Flushable wipes
- Step stool
- Waterproof mat for the carpet
- Portable potty for car rides
- Easy to remove clothes
- Reward chart
- Reward treat
- Food coloring
- Rubber ducky
- Lots of liquids and foods high in fiber
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The Big Three Days
The day has arrived and your child (and you) might be feeling a ton of emotions. That’s okay!
Validate their feelings and then get started.
Validate their feelings and then get started.
Day 1
On this day, your child goes completely naked from the waist down and you’re not going to leave the house.
Soooo….I suggest you set up some premade activities or be okay with some extra screen time because potty training can make for an endless day.
That’s also why it is nice to have a partner involved in this process today, so the two of you can take turns taking breaks because, trust me, you’re going to need them.
The rules of this day are simple:
Soooo….I suggest you set up some premade activities or be okay with some extra screen time because potty training can make for an endless day.
That’s also why it is nice to have a partner involved in this process today, so the two of you can take turns taking breaks because, trust me, you’re going to need them.
The rules of this day are simple:
- Instruct your child that when they get the “potty feeling” to go on the potty. Make sure the potty is easily accessible.
- When your son goes on the potty, give him a treat right away.
- If they start going on the floor, try to catch them midway and carry them over to the potty. If they finish their peering on the potty, give them a treat right away.
- If they go on the floor, do not yell or shame. Tell them that it’s okay but remind them that the peeing and pooping are for the potty.
- Load them up with liquids and fruits and fiber to give them plenty of opportunities to use the potty.
- Use the gossiping strategy at the end of the day.
- *Extra* Give them a certificate for completing Day 1.
Day 2
This day is exactly the same as Day 1, but you’ll do a 15-20 minute excursion outside. Maybe to the playground or to take a walk around the block.
Day 3
Day 3 is the same as Day 2, but you’re going to add in a longer outside excursion AND you are going to put underwear and loose fitting pants on your boy.
Pro Tips for Potty Training
Here are my best tips for potty training boys (and girls):
1. Put food coloring in the potty
Show your son that you’re putting food coloring in the potty and use this script…
“Look, I put a red drop in the potty. Turn your pee red! Look, your pee is red! What color do you want to make your pee next time?”
2. The Diaper Steps for Peeing and Pooping
If you have kids who scream for their diapers (mine did for pooping), try the diaper steps.
Do each step for about 3-7 days before removing onto the next step. Always, talk to them about the next step before doing it.
“Ohh! Tomorrow, we’re going to cut a hole in your diaper. You’ll pee through the hole in your diaper. So fun! How do you feel about that?”
3. The Rubber Ducky Trick
Okay, this is kind of gross, but it worked. We would put a plastic rubber ducky in the potty and tell my son to make him float in the “water.”
Giving kids a goal that they feel proud of makes them feel confident to continue.
4. Reward Charts
I’ll be honest, reward charts can be tiring because you have to be super consistent, but they can work.
I actually used them later on in the potty training process. My son had mastered the art of going to the potty, but he was still having accidents here and there and wasn’t pooping consistently on the potty.
So, what I did was write down the steps I wanted him to accomplish:
For each one he did, he got a star and so many stars equaled a prize/treat/reward that we determined together.
You can cater this to your experience however you want.
Maybe for you, your son gets a star on his chart (or a sticker or a checkmark on his hand) every time he just pees on the potty. So many stars at the end of the day equals a prize.
Increase the criteria as your child improves → He has to get more stars per day or a prize comes every other day instead of everyday.
Finally, gradually reduce how often you give a reward until you aren’t handing them out anymore.
5. On and Off
This was kind of a mistake we made. I highly suggest the potty be an on and off thing instead of a lingering on kind of thing.
I wouldn’t place your child on the potty and instruct him to sit there until he goes. We really want our kids to recognize when they have to go and then go and be done with it.
That’s why I recommend no screens or books or games or sitting there holding their hands.
Forcing them to go or sit on the potty for too long will create a negative association with the potty and generally lead to more resistance.
6. No more diapers or pull-ups
Once your kids are developmentally ready to use the potty, do not go back to diapers, pull-ups or anything that looks or feels like a diaper except for nighttime and naps.
Kids need consistency and going back to diapers or pull-ups will be confusing.
Stick to underwear even if the accidents are annoying in the short term. It will be better in the long run.
Here are some thicker underwear that cause less of a mess.
. 7. Character Underwear
Buy your child his favorite character underwear - Paw Patrol, Batman, Mickey Mouse - and instruct him not to get Chase (insert character here) wet. “Help keep them dry.”
1. Put food coloring in the potty
Show your son that you’re putting food coloring in the potty and use this script…
“Look, I put a red drop in the potty. Turn your pee red! Look, your pee is red! What color do you want to make your pee next time?”
2. The Diaper Steps for Peeing and Pooping
If you have kids who scream for their diapers (mine did for pooping), try the diaper steps.
- Step 1: They can wear their diapers, but they have to be in the bathroom.
- Step 2: They can wear their diapers, but they have to sit on the potty.
- Step 3: They can wear their diapers, but there is a hole in the diaper.
- Step 4: No diaper!
Do each step for about 3-7 days before removing onto the next step. Always, talk to them about the next step before doing it.
“Ohh! Tomorrow, we’re going to cut a hole in your diaper. You’ll pee through the hole in your diaper. So fun! How do you feel about that?”
3. The Rubber Ducky Trick
Okay, this is kind of gross, but it worked. We would put a plastic rubber ducky in the potty and tell my son to make him float in the “water.”
Giving kids a goal that they feel proud of makes them feel confident to continue.
4. Reward Charts
I’ll be honest, reward charts can be tiring because you have to be super consistent, but they can work.
I actually used them later on in the potty training process. My son had mastered the art of going to the potty, but he was still having accidents here and there and wasn’t pooping consistently on the potty.
So, what I did was write down the steps I wanted him to accomplish:
- Pull down your pants on his own.
- Pee.
- Pull up pants on his own.
- Flush.
- Wash Hands.
- Poop in the potty.
For each one he did, he got a star and so many stars equaled a prize/treat/reward that we determined together.
You can cater this to your experience however you want.
Maybe for you, your son gets a star on his chart (or a sticker or a checkmark on his hand) every time he just pees on the potty. So many stars at the end of the day equals a prize.
Increase the criteria as your child improves → He has to get more stars per day or a prize comes every other day instead of everyday.
Finally, gradually reduce how often you give a reward until you aren’t handing them out anymore.
5. On and Off
This was kind of a mistake we made. I highly suggest the potty be an on and off thing instead of a lingering on kind of thing.
I wouldn’t place your child on the potty and instruct him to sit there until he goes. We really want our kids to recognize when they have to go and then go and be done with it.
That’s why I recommend no screens or books or games or sitting there holding their hands.
Forcing them to go or sit on the potty for too long will create a negative association with the potty and generally lead to more resistance.
6. No more diapers or pull-ups
Once your kids are developmentally ready to use the potty, do not go back to diapers, pull-ups or anything that looks or feels like a diaper except for nighttime and naps.
Kids need consistency and going back to diapers or pull-ups will be confusing.
Stick to underwear even if the accidents are annoying in the short term. It will be better in the long run.
Here are some thicker underwear that cause less of a mess.
. 7. Character Underwear
Buy your child his favorite character underwear - Paw Patrol, Batman, Mickey Mouse - and instruct him not to get Chase (insert character here) wet. “Help keep them dry.”
Mistakes I Made With Potty Training
Everyone makes mistakes. Here are mine…
My son was very scared to poop. He would hold it so badly that he became very constipated. At first, we tried to force him to go which was pretty traumatizing for him and made his constipation worse. We wouldn’t do this again. Instead we would do the Diaper Steps in the first place, which ended up working for us later on.
The timing was slightly off, especially with getting him to poop. I started the Big 3 Days in August since I am a teacher and off for the summer.
However, shortly after those Big 3 Days, I went back to work, we sold our house, moved into our son’s grandparents’ house, and then 2 months later moved into our new house.
The timing will never be perfect, but he had to undergo a lot of transitions that can make potty training difficult.
Try to avoid potty training when it closely coincides with a big transition like a new baby or moving.
My son was very scared to poop. He would hold it so badly that he became very constipated. At first, we tried to force him to go which was pretty traumatizing for him and made his constipation worse. We wouldn’t do this again. Instead we would do the Diaper Steps in the first place, which ended up working for us later on.
The timing was slightly off, especially with getting him to poop. I started the Big 3 Days in August since I am a teacher and off for the summer.
However, shortly after those Big 3 Days, I went back to work, we sold our house, moved into our son’s grandparents’ house, and then 2 months later moved into our new house.
The timing will never be perfect, but he had to undergo a lot of transitions that can make potty training difficult.
Try to avoid potty training when it closely coincides with a big transition like a new baby or moving.
Success!
Hopefully with this guide and tips, you’re successfully on your way to potty training. Remember your son will continue to have accidents. They won’t be perfect.
They might get caught up in playing and forget to go or go through some regressions.
Be gentle with them.
If you are still having extreme problems, check in with your doctor to see if they are developmentally ready.
But other than that, praise them and yourself for all your hard efforts.
And check out my course Now What? for strategies for some of life’s other difficult parenting moments.
They might get caught up in playing and forget to go or go through some regressions.
Be gentle with them.
If you are still having extreme problems, check in with your doctor to see if they are developmentally ready.
But other than that, praise them and yourself for all your hard efforts.
And check out my course Now What? for strategies for some of life’s other difficult parenting moments.
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 2x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge and children's book, Henry's Hiccups, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram and get her free parenting checklists.
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It’s no surprise that society likes to joke about the tired mom.
TV shows play homage to her by having her mistakenly leave the house in her pajamas, robe, and slippers. Mom buns is now a common phrase. And we’ve all seen memes or pictures of a mom with huge bags under her eyes as she juggles the laundry, her kids pulling her in different directions, and trying to talk on the phone.
But a tired mom is no laughing matter. Sleep deprivation has serious side effects.
Difficulties with sleep and insomnia can linger far after the newborn phase. The tired mom, so weary from the day, collapses on her bed, and the next thing she knows she is unable to fall asleep. It’s frustrating.
I know because I’ve been there. I struggled with insomnia and sleep anxiety for many months. The rest of my house lay asleep peacefully while I tossed and turned with sheer panic.
It’s awful, and if you’re going through this, you’re not alone, and I have some tips for you.
*DISCLAIMER: The information and advice in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or other professions. Call your medical or mental health professional, or 911, for all emergencies. Lauren Barrett is not liable for any advice or information provided in this blog.
TV shows play homage to her by having her mistakenly leave the house in her pajamas, robe, and slippers. Mom buns is now a common phrase. And we’ve all seen memes or pictures of a mom with huge bags under her eyes as she juggles the laundry, her kids pulling her in different directions, and trying to talk on the phone.
But a tired mom is no laughing matter. Sleep deprivation has serious side effects.
Difficulties with sleep and insomnia can linger far after the newborn phase. The tired mom, so weary from the day, collapses on her bed, and the next thing she knows she is unable to fall asleep. It’s frustrating.
I know because I’ve been there. I struggled with insomnia and sleep anxiety for many months. The rest of my house lay asleep peacefully while I tossed and turned with sheer panic.
It’s awful, and if you’re going through this, you’re not alone, and I have some tips for you.
*DISCLAIMER: The information and advice in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or other professions. Call your medical or mental health professional, or 911, for all emergencies. Lauren Barrett is not liable for any advice or information provided in this blog.
#1 Don’t Eat After 8PM.
When we put our head down on the pillow, we don’t want to have to worry about anything other than sleeping. Eating after 8PM can lead to digestive issues that can disrupt our sleeping.
When I was having trouble with sleep, I didn’t want any external factors to get in the way, so I eliminated eating after 8PM.
When I was having trouble with sleep, I didn’t want any external factors to get in the way, so I eliminated eating after 8PM.
#2 Limit Drinking
Despite the classic stereotypes of tired moms “needing” wine to unwind before bed, I learned that drinking alcohol up to four hours before bed can mess with one’s sleep.
If I did happen to drink, I would limit myself to one glass. Tired moms, there are plenty of other ways to unwind before bed. Don’t let society fool you into thinking that drinking is one of them.
The best thing for an overwhelmed, stressed out mom is sleep. Let’s not jeopardize it by drinking.
If I did happen to drink, I would limit myself to one glass. Tired moms, there are plenty of other ways to unwind before bed. Don’t let society fool you into thinking that drinking is one of them.
The best thing for an overwhelmed, stressed out mom is sleep. Let’s not jeopardize it by drinking.
#3 Set the Mood
Sleep hygiene is so important for adults and kids too. Just like it’s hard for me to go to sleep right after exercising or being on my phone for a while, I can’t be expected to go to bed after watching a stimulating TV show or vigorously texting.
That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate bedtime struggles.
Setting the mood can look like this:
By setting the mood, we are preparing ourselves for sleep and getting ourselves to feel tired.
Even if I find myself getting home late or doing something stimulating later in the evening than normal, I have to take at least a half hour to an hour to unwind out of bed and bedroom.
Tired moms need that time to be by themselves and have some peace and quiet after the chaos and noise of the day.
That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate bedtime struggles.
Setting the mood can look like this:
- Dimming all the lights at least a half hour before bed.
- Shutting off the TV right before bedtime.
- Lowering the temperature.
- Switching on a calming music from the sound machine.
- Speaking in softer, hushed voices.
- Lowering the volume on all sounds.
- Take a warm shower.
By setting the mood, we are preparing ourselves for sleep and getting ourselves to feel tired.
Even if I find myself getting home late or doing something stimulating later in the evening than normal, I have to take at least a half hour to an hour to unwind out of bed and bedroom.
Tired moms need that time to be by themselves and have some peace and quiet after the chaos and noise of the day.
#4 Avoid Screens after 9PM
There is a big reason why turning off screens after 9PM is the first thing on my list for my Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge. Seeing as sleep is one of, if not the, most important things we can do for our bodies, we need to make sure our bodies are ready for sleep when we go to lie down.
Screens, especially the blue light from our phones and I-pads, can mess with proper sleep. I find that after scrolling social media or going down a rabbit hole on Wikipedia or texting away with a friend, I have a harder time going to sleep.
That is why I turn on Do Not Disturb for 9:00 PM-6:00 AM. I like to have at least an hour away from my phone before bed.
Does this mean that I never check my phone? No. I just don’t engage in any activity that has me staring at it for too long.
As for TV screens, I like to turn off the TV about a half hour before I go to sleep.
Screens, especially the blue light from our phones and I-pads, can mess with proper sleep. I find that after scrolling social media or going down a rabbit hole on Wikipedia or texting away with a friend, I have a harder time going to sleep.
That is why I turn on Do Not Disturb for 9:00 PM-6:00 AM. I like to have at least an hour away from my phone before bed.
Does this mean that I never check my phone? No. I just don’t engage in any activity that has me staring at it for too long.
As for TV screens, I like to turn off the TV about a half hour before I go to sleep.
#5 Take Melatonin
I think the research on melatonin can be a little vague at times, but I still like to take 1-2 before bed even if only to serve as a placebo effect.
I chew these about a half hour before bed and let them work their magic.
I chew these about a half hour before bed and let them work their magic.
#6 The Bedroom is for Sleeping
I’ve started to spend less time in my bedroom and my bed is only for sleeping and well…
Research has shown that the more time spent in our bedtime the more sleep difficulties we’ll have later in the night.
So Moms, get out of your bedrooms. There is no wonder that houses are starting to put more real estate value on outdoor spaces instead of bedrooms.
After moving into our new house, we even have said that the bedroom will be the last room in the house we make over simply because we hardly spend time there.
Research has shown that the more time spent in our bedtime the more sleep difficulties we’ll have later in the night.
So Moms, get out of your bedrooms. There is no wonder that houses are starting to put more real estate value on outdoor spaces instead of bedrooms.
After moving into our new house, we even have said that the bedroom will be the last room in the house we make over simply because we hardly spend time there.
#7 Find the Good and Take Deep Breaths
A large part surrounding my difficulties sleeping was because I was so anxious about not sleeping. I would be tired, but as soon as I got into bed, I would start worrying and wondering if I would be able to sleep. The more I worried and wondered, the more I couldn’t sleep. It was a vicious cycle.
For that reason, I had to develop some mindful thinking and meditative practice for bed. For me, that was slowing down my breathing and taking a few deep breaths while I used a strategy called Finding the Good.
I would go through my day and pick out all the good things that happened. I would also ruminate on the good things of the future. Our minds have been trained to quickly go to all that can go wrong and all the negatives that happened that we have to really work to find the good.
For that reason, I had to develop some mindful thinking and meditative practice for bed. For me, that was slowing down my breathing and taking a few deep breaths while I used a strategy called Finding the Good.
I would go through my day and pick out all the good things that happened. I would also ruminate on the good things of the future. Our minds have been trained to quickly go to all that can go wrong and all the negatives that happened that we have to really work to find the good.
#8 Take Up Reading or Another Hobby Before Bed
Instead of being on screens before bed, which we know can disrupt sleep, Moms should find some hobby they could do before bed that helps take their minds off any anxiety they have.
Dooms scrolling on phones is a thing that unfortunately, I myself along with other moms have gotten caught up in.
Instead I have started reading before bed.
Other hobbies can be: scrapbooking, writing, knitting, sewing, yoga, and meditating.
Dooms scrolling on phones is a thing that unfortunately, I myself along with other moms have gotten caught up in.
Instead I have started reading before bed.
Other hobbies can be: scrapbooking, writing, knitting, sewing, yoga, and meditating.
#9 Stick to a Consistent Sleep Schedule
There is no such thing as “catching up on sleep”. Because of that, I try to wake up and go to bed roughly at the same time every night of the week, including weekends.
Your body will become used to this schedule and, in turn, be more likely to have good quality sleep.
I know, as a mom, that after the kids go to bed we only have very little precious time to a.) straighten up the house; b.) spend time with our spouse; and c.) spend time alone in “me time.” Because we want to do all that, we might fight to stay awake. This is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination and women and college students are most affected by it.
Experts don’t recommend that moms do this because not getting enough sleep for the next day will leave moms trapped in a stressed out cycle.
Instead go to bed at consistent times and follow my bedtime tips to help the nighttime routine go smoother without so much stalling from your kids and divide those household duties with your spouse by using Fair Play And finally, don’t be afraid to do chores and cleaning while your kids are awake and give them responsibilities of chores to do.
Your body will become used to this schedule and, in turn, be more likely to have good quality sleep.
I know, as a mom, that after the kids go to bed we only have very little precious time to a.) straighten up the house; b.) spend time with our spouse; and c.) spend time alone in “me time.” Because we want to do all that, we might fight to stay awake. This is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination and women and college students are most affected by it.
Experts don’t recommend that moms do this because not getting enough sleep for the next day will leave moms trapped in a stressed out cycle.
Instead go to bed at consistent times and follow my bedtime tips to help the nighttime routine go smoother without so much stalling from your kids and divide those household duties with your spouse by using Fair Play And finally, don’t be afraid to do chores and cleaning while your kids are awake and give them responsibilities of chores to do.
#10 Ask Your Doctor for a Pill
If you are like me, my insomnia got so bad that I had to ask my doctor for a pill. I hadn’t slept in 48 hours (turns out I was being overmedicated for my autoimmune disease - but that is a different story).
The pill worked wonders. I ended up gradually weaning myself off the pills, (That should be the purpose of most pills that alter your mind chemically) [LINK] but just knowing that I had the pills just in case helped me fall asleep faster and better.
Sometimes we need that kickstart to help us sleep. And I knew that once I started getting a few decent nights of sleep, my overall physical and mental health would improve drastically. And it did.
But have a plan to gradually get yourself off the pill by using other holistic sleeping strategies.
The pill worked wonders. I ended up gradually weaning myself off the pills, (That should be the purpose of most pills that alter your mind chemically) [LINK] but just knowing that I had the pills just in case helped me fall asleep faster and better.
Sometimes we need that kickstart to help us sleep. And I knew that once I started getting a few decent nights of sleep, my overall physical and mental health would improve drastically. And it did.
But have a plan to gradually get yourself off the pill by using other holistic sleeping strategies.
Whether you’re in the throes of sleep deprivations or just a tired mom who could use a little more sleep, I hope these tips help.
I really have empathy for people who are having trouble sleeping, and I say a prayer each night for all of you.
Allowing yourself to get enough sleep is one of the most selfless acts of love you can do for yourself and the people around you. When I get enough sleep, I’m a better mom, wife, teacher, and overall person.
Happy sleeping! Hope this post wasn’t a snooze fest.
I really have empathy for people who are having trouble sleeping, and I say a prayer each night for all of you.
Allowing yourself to get enough sleep is one of the most selfless acts of love you can do for yourself and the people around you. When I get enough sleep, I’m a better mom, wife, teacher, and overall person.
Happy sleeping! Hope this post wasn’t a snooze fest.
| | Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 2x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge and children's book, Henry's Hiccups, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram and get her free parenting checklists. |
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