|
Introduction
We are in the throes of the holiday season where our young kids are going to be getting a lot of things handed to them for free. Halloween candy, a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal, and Christmas presents. And nothing is worse than having our kids feel entitled to all of these things without any expression of gratitude. And while, as parents, we want our young kids to say thank you to all of their generous givers, we also want them to experience that warm feeling that swells inside of us when we truly practice gratitude. But that doesn’t come naturally to little kids, we actually have to help our kids practice gratitude. Luckily, I have 5 easy steps parents can do to propel gratitude along. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
Table of Contents
Parents Can Help Their Young Kids Practice Gratitude in 5 Easy Steps
#1. Stop Saying, “Say Thank You.”
I know, I know. I can see your faces all in shock at this one. Up until a few days ago, I was still doing this and then I learned why we shouldn’t, and I am doing my best to change this old habit. Dr. Becky from Good Inside says that gratitude is not a behavior we need to encourage but a feeling. Watch her video here on how she thinks about building gratitude in her kids. When we prompt our kids to say “thank you” over and over again, we are teaching them rote behavior without doing anything to encourage the feeling. Eventually, this forced action can lead to older kids simply forgetting, refusing, or defying their parents' old adage because they never learned how to feel gratitude. They simply think what is given to them is expected. I also just want to add that telling your kids to say “thank you” while also teaching them the feeling is OKAY and works.
#2. Notice Moments of Gratitude
Instead of telling our young kids to say “thank you,” Dr. Becky suggests stopping and pausing to notice moments of gratitude in your life. This could look like this in your household... Situation 1: You are all seated around the dinner table, eating a delicious meal. Pause. Say, “Hey everyone, do you know what I just noticed? We are all eating together as a family. This feels so nice. We have food. We are all laughing. I am so thankful for this.” Situation 2: You and your kid are out for a walk. Pause. Say, “Hey, let’s take a moment to just stop and look around. The fall leaves are so pretty. The sun feels so good on our skin. You have a jacket to keep you warm. You are having so much fun riding your bike, and the shoes you are wearing are really helping you pedal fast. I love moments spent with you like this. I’m so thankful.” Now, your kids are noticing those moments that feel good and begin to connect future experiences like these ones with a feeling of gratitude. Dr. Becky also cautions parents that now isn’t the time to lecture kids on how some kids don’t have all of these things. She states that over time the more kids notice our slowing down to acknowledge a good feeling, the more likely they will do the same in the future. 
#3. Model Gratitude
Studies have found that grateful parents raise grateful children. That means you want them to catch you expressing gratitude. Whether it be saying thank you to your husband for cleaning up the kitchen or thanking the cashier at checkout, you want your child to notice your gratitude. I’m a big fan of thank you notes and a gratitude journal. Therefore, I definitely want my child to see my writing these notes and jotting in my journal. This can be simply done like this: Situation 1: At Target. Hmm, I’m looking at my list of what I need. Ohh, I need to get some thank you notes to write to all the people who gave you a gift at your birthday party. It was so nice of them to get you all those great gifts! You love playing with your new presents. Do you want to help me pick some out, and we can write them together at home? Situation 2: Before breakfast While you play before breakfast, I’m going to do part of my morning routine. I like to write down four things I am thankful for. Let’s see. I am thankful for...a,b,c, and d Your kids will pick up on all the ways you express gratitude and begin to practice what you do. Also, be sure to thank your children too!
#4. Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude with your kids is similar to modeling gratitude, but this time you are going to involve your kids in doing some of the work. Like most things we learn, practice helps build a skill. Here are three ways to practice gratitude with your kids. a.) Ask them questions: When you are stopping and pausing to notice gratitude, ask your kids how they feel in the moment too. Ask them what they are thankful for before bed. Ask them who they are thankful for each day. Your kids might not be able to answer right away, especially if they are still young. But just by asking and then pausing to allow them to answer is enough to start getting their wheels turning about gratitude. If they don’t answer after an appropriate wait time, help them out with a few options. We went to the park today. That was fun. Maybe you are thankful for that. You got to play with your trains at grandma’s house. You could be grateful for that. Before long, they will be answering on their own. b.) Write thank you letters Involve them in “writing” letters to people they are thankful for. These letters can be to family members, friends, teachers, and service members (firefighters, police officers, mail carriers, the military, etc). Explain why you are doing this, do it, and then send them out. c.) Use pretend play Use stuffed animals, toys, or imagination to practice gratitude. For example, pretend to have a birthday party for one of your kid’s stuffed animals. Bunny will open presents and practice saying thank you to his guests for his gifts even if he doesn’t like them. Also, you can have your kids practice trick-or-treating before Halloween and have them say thank you for getting candy. Planting seeds of kindness through make-believe will give your children the tools necessary to handle situations where they need to practice gratitude on their own. 
#5 Point Out Gratitude
The last one is simple and summarizes everything up. Whenever you see gratitude in books, on TV, and in real life, point it out to your kids. That’s it.
Final Thoughts
Gratitude is so important, but it isn’t something you want to force upon your kids. Remember gratitude is more than a behavior. It’s a feeling we want kids to experience inside of them. This feeling is the way in which we will build long-lasting practices of gratitude with our kids that they will carry long into adulthood. The biggest takeaway is taking the time as a parent to pause and notice those feelings of gratitude with your kids. And before long, your heart will be melted as your kid says a sweet little thank you all on his own.
Sign up to my email list to get more tips on how to practice mindful parenting and build better relationships with your kids.
Want help for life’s hard moments? Sign up for my parenting checklists.
0 Comments
Main Keyword: 2-3 Year Old Gifts
Related Keywords: 2-3 year olds, toddlers, preschoolers, Christmas, gift ideas, parents Targeted Audience: Parents of toddlers and preschoolers
10 Gift Ideas to Get 2-3 Year Olds For Christmas That Won't Annoy Parents
Introduction
My son’s birthday follows Christmas, so we get a lot of gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. While I appreciate their sentiment behind those gifts, I DO NOT want annoying, plastic toys that blink, flash, yell, sing, and get under my skin anymore. I’m preaching this from the mountain. Not only are these toys annoying for parents, they don’t serve much of a purpose besides mesmerizing and entertaining your toddler into a stupor for a brief moment. Oftentimes, these toys are cool for a month or two. Your 2-3 year olds get bored of these toys quickly and do little to help foster their imaginations. They do all the work for your little ones. What we want people to get our kids are open-ended toys, meaning toys that grow with our 2-3 year olds and help our toddlers use their imaginations and creativity. They can be used in multiple ways and don’t serve one single purpose (Building blocks vs. a toy helicopter that sings and plays music). Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
10 Gift Ideas to Get 2-3 Year Olds For Christmas That Won't Annoy Parents
In today’s blog post, I have 10 gifts for your toddlers and preschoolers that won’t annoy you as parents. They are educational, fun, and practical.
#1. Hugg-A-Planet with Educational Placemat Map
I am a little biased on this one, but I love geography, and, not to get on my high horse, but believe that we should all have a knowledge of our world. Hugg-a-planet is a soft, plush globe that your 2-3 year olds will love hugging, tossing, and learning from. Pair this with an educational placemat of a map of the world or U.S.A. These gifts will allow for incidental learning to take place, and your toddlers’ natural curiosity will take over as they begin to study and pore over these globes and placemats while they eat, play, and enjoy quiet time in their rooms. These gifts invite discussions at dinnertime and when you are just hanging around in the living room. And what’s great, is that these gifts can last well into the teenage years, serving a purpose.
#2. Magnetic Tiles
This gift is perfect for your 2-3 year olds and even beyond. These magnetic tiles come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They encourage your toddlers to build, create, deconstruct, match, stack, sort, and more while allowing your children to be the drivers behind what they do. They aren’t loud, and they don't even hurt that much when stepped on. Take them outside, play with them inside, or build with them in the car, this gift provides hours of entertainment and brain development.
#3. Kids Carpet Playmat Rug
I like these large rugs because they open up a whole new creative world for your kids. The rug includes roads, a hospital, a school, an airport, and more. Kids can use their toy cars and blocks to build an imaginative city throughout this rug. The mat provides an opportunity for kids to control the narrative and the play.
#4. Wooden Stacking Rocks
These wooden stones are similar to building blocks but have a different allure to them in a way because they are NEW and have a challenging element to them. How high can you balance them? What way should you stack them? Vertical? Horizontal? They also can be used for more than just stacking. Bury them in the sand or dirt to find. Wash them off with soap and water. Sort them by color and shape.
#5. Indoor Teepee
I think there is something magical about an indoor teepee where your toddler can go and camp out for some time. Your 2-3 year olds can have quiet time in the tent to read, color, play, and build. They will want to go in there because they will feel “hidden” and as if they are in their own little world.
EXPERIENCES
As parents, we also want our kids to have experiences that build long-lasting memories and connections. I love these as gifts for Christmas.
#6. Swim Lessons
When my parents gave my son swim lessons for Christmas, I would dread going each night, but when I got there, I realized how much I loved experiencing this with my son. I have fond memories of connecting with my son during these times. He was being active, learning a necessary skill, socializing with his peers, and having special time with mommy. I wouldn’t trade our time practicing “fast feet” in the water and our locker room conversations for anything. 
#7. Memberships
I highly recommend a membership to a kids museum or zoo. My parents got us a membership to our local kids museum last Christmas. This whole year, especially when it was too hot outside, we would head there for an hour or two. He would have a blast. Since my son is still a toddler, he didn’t yet run from one section to the next. He preferred to play in one spot while I parked my behind on one of the many seats or benches and would read a book or just soak up the joy he had from being there. 
#8. Weekend Getaway
A weekend getaway can be as elaborate as a trip to the mountains or an indoor water park to as simple as a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa with tons of sugar and TV. This gift is all in the presentation and how you hype it up when your 2-3 year olds open it on Christmas. Print out a coupon or gift certificate with what the weekend getaway will be and wrap it in a “special” box in which your child will open up last. Say that this is a “magical” gift consisting of many memories. Then, talk about the importance of memories. Use a whisper voice which will trigger to your toddler that this gift is important. And then enjoy the weekend getaway whether you are the one staying behind or going with your child. 
#9. A Year in Review Photo Album
I did this for my son’s first year. It was more of a gift for me than him since he was still a baby, but now he likes looking back on it and pointing out all the people in the pictures. This is a fun gift to do every year for the family, but especially for 2-3 year olds as you are building language in them and helping them make connections. Flip through the photo album with your toddlers and reflect back on the memories of the past year. Ask questions to see what they recall. Let them keep this album in their room to “show off.” Having these each year will be so much fun to look back upon when the kids are older.
#10. The Henry’s Hiccups Experience
Supplemental to my book, Henry's Hiccups, The Henry's Hiccups Language Experience offers the following:
10 Modules found in the Henry's Hiccups Language Experience.
Perfect for teaching your kids the full language experience. 
Final Thoughts
Remember this. You do not need to get your child the latest and greatest toys. The greatest gifts you can get your children are the ones that build memories and connection and encourage little ones to use their imagination. Sign up for my checklists to help you with life's hard moments.
As a mom, I much prefer to be on the offensive rather than on the defensive when it comes to my child’s behavior. Instead of managing meltdowns all day long, we try our best to green light our son’s positive behavior in order to prevent tantrums from happening frequently.
This is especially true when taking my son to church. I have noticed that when I do not use green-lighting tactics, my son will spend the time trying to run away, throwing toys, talking loudly, and whining to get out of the pew. The whole hour in church is an epic fail and I spend the majority of the hour defusing meltdowns and playing cleanup. This post originally appeared on A Fine Parent. On the other hand, when I take steps to green light positive behavior in church, I have a toddler who (mostly) sits and quietly plays with the toys and books we bring to entertain him. What do I mean by green lighting? It means that we use positive parenting strategies to promote positive behavior. Dr. Karp’s book, Happiest Toddler on the Block, first introduced me to this strategy. Green lighting behaviors encourages children to:
When using green lighting consistently, misbehaviors and tantrums decrease and are much more manageable. Do I have your curiosity yet? Read on to learn about 10 simple ways to green light positive behavior!
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
#1: Fill Up Your Child’s Attention Cup
#1: Fill Up Your Child’s Attention Cup Children often act out because they want attention; and if they don’t think they can get positive attention, then negative attention may be the next best option.
Mommy’s not paying attention to me. But every time I cry or throw something, she comes to me. I’ll keep doing that. To make sure that that doesn’t happen, fill up their attention cup by using time-ins or special time. Time-ins are a short amount of time that parents spend distraction free (no phones or TVs) with their child. It is surprising how just 5-10 minutes of undivided attention a few times a day can make a difference. When I am not at work, I like to do time-ins when I wake my son, after breakfast, before nap, in the afternoon, and before bed. These time-ins are nothing fancy and can simply be 5-20 minutes of being by my son’s side, reading a book, or playing with him without distractions. Of course we can all be busy at times and that’s okay! For parents who work or have multiple children, creating a visual schedule of when you are available for special time can be helpful. Red means Mommy or Daddy are not available, yellow is a maybe, green is good to go! Your child will know what to expect and that his attention cup will get filled up, decreasing the likelihood that he will act out.
#2: Allow for Plenty of Opportunities to Play
Play is so important for children. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics play:
That doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t play with their kids. In fact, Dr. John Delony of the Dr. John Delony podcast, says that play is a great way to build connections even with older children. It is best if parents let their kids take the lead and avoid bombarding them with question after question about what they are doing. Instead the CDC recommends actively listening to your child and describing your child’s behavior and what they are doing. Wow! You built a ramp for your cars and are making them go fast down the ramp. Can I have a try? Dr. Karp recommends three types of play every day:
#3: Provide Consistent Praise
Catch your children doing something good and tell them!
Wow! You drew that picture all by yourself? How’d you think of that? I liked the way you behaved in the store. How do you feel about that? You went to the bathroom in the potty! Yay! Good job. Praising your children for behavior you want to see happen will green light that behavior in the future. The right kind of praise can be tricky to navigate. But try to remember to praise effort, not talent. For example, instead of “You’re amazing. What a great artist you are!” try saying, “Wow, you worked really hard on that painting. Tell me about it.” With the right kind of consistent praise, your child will be confident in continuing his positive behavior, even in the face of adversity.
#4: Gossip About Your Child
While gossiping may bring to mind a negative picture, it can be a positive way to green light behavior. Young children eat this up! What you want to do is gossip about your child, but not behind their back! You want your child to actually hear you talk about them.
Magnify your gossiping by being as non-discreet as possible. You can cup your hands to your mouth with the dramatic flair of a whisper, yet make your volume loud enough for your child to hear. You may want to gossip to Dad or a sibling; but if another person is not available then a stuffed animal or toy will work just as well! Instead of gossiping about bad behavior, you want to focus on the positive behavior your children are doing throughout the day. Psstttt, Daddy, guess what your son did today? He helped pick up his toys when Mr. Dinger went off. I didn’t even have to ask. He picked them all up by himself! I was so proud and so was he. Gossiping greenlights this positive behavior to continue. When your children overhear about what they are doing right, it makes them feel good and want to continue just like when adults overhear someone saying something nice about them.
#5: Give Little Rewards
Dr. Karp also discusses the idea of little rewards to encourage positive behavior. He cautions that rewards are not the same as bribery. Bribery is used to discourage bad behavior while rewards are used to encourage positive behavior.
Here’s how little rewards work (using the example of wanting your child to cooperate when it comes to bed time):
Keep in mind that the reward doesn’t need to be tangible. It can be a time-in, playing a game with your toddler, playful roughhousing, or reading a book. It’s also important to back up little rewards with praise; never underestimate how much praise means to your child!
#6: Use Positive Behavior Charts
Similar to providing rewards, using positive reinforcement is a good way to increase positive behaviors. As children (especially young children) are often visual learners and thrive when provided with visual support, charts and checklists can be hugely beneficial.
This can look like the following:
Everytime your child engages in a behavior that you want to see continue, give them a sticker, stamp, or hand check. As the parent, you can decide on a prize or reward for reaching a certain milestone. For example, maybe they need to earn 10 stars a week to be able to watch a movie. It is always best to provide positive reinforcement right after the positive behavior happens, so your child can make a connection that I did this, so I got this. It also helps to get them involved and take ownership for their actions. You did xyz! Go put a sticker on your chart. Yay! How did it feel to earn a sticker?
#7: Connect With Humor
Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine to get a child to cooperate. “Playing the fool,” is a strategy that allows us to connect to our children with humor while encouraging positive behavior. Specifically, parents can utilize “playing the fool” by pretending that they don’t know how to do something.
It’s time to put on your pajamas. Wait, I forget where does your top go? Does it go on your knees? No? Hmmm…does it go on your butt.” No! Ughh please help me. I forget. That is my piece of broccoli. Please don’t touch it. I am going to do one thing first, and when I come back I want to eat it….What! You ate it? You are so tricky and smart. You always win. Using humor or taking the time to laugh and be silly with your child builds connections and makes your child feel safe and confident with you–a gateway to positive behavior.
#8: Practice Patience
Kids aren’t born with the ability to know how to wait. This is a skill that develops from learning and repeated practice.
A quick strategy to help children with patience is “patience stretching.” I started using patience stretching with my son from about 6-8 months old. During patience stretching, I will act like I’m going to give my son something he wants; but just before I hand it to him, I remember that I have to do something first. Here you go, here is your milk. Ohh silly Mommy. I forgot. I need to make sure it’s warm enough first. I will then turn around and count to ten. When I am finished counting, I’ll turn back around and give my son his milk and praise his excellent waiting skills. Good waiting! Here’s your milk now. When using patience stretching to practice this important skill, it can be helpful to implement the strategy at least once a day while slowly increasing the time in which you are asking your child to wait for about a minute. Practicing consistently will make it more likely that waiting skills are generalized to real-life situations.
#9: Create Daily Routines
Children, especially toddlers, like routines. This is for good reason! Routines have been found to:
When we create a day that is predictable for our toddlers, we increase the chances of them having good behavior because they know what to expect. While not every day can be the same, there are ways to input short routines into certain times of the day, such as: In the event that something big and unexpected might happen, we can use a strategy called prep. First introduced to me by my mom and backed up by the popular Instagram account of two toddler experts, Big Little Feelings, prep is when you give children plenty of time and explanation of what is going to happen. A visit to the dentist, an out of town trip, a new baby, or moving out of your house are all things to use prep with to signal to your toddler that something will be different outside of their normal routine. You can read books, role play, or watch a video as a way to prep your child. With both daily routines and prep, children will know what to expect and be on their way to behaving better.
#10: Use Make-Believe
Showing your little ones how to be kind is a great way to green light positive behavior. We can use make-believe (a kid favorite) to model kindness.There are two great ways in which you can be purposeful and creative about planting seeds of kindness:
Planting seeds of kindness through make-believe will give your children the tools necessary to handle conflict and what to do when they feel angry, frustrated, or sad.
Thanks to these 10 simple strategies, we are more often than not being proactive rather than doing damage control with unwanted behavior. Children are much happier when they have tools and strategies for what is expected than when left alone to figure out how they are supposed to act. Give them a try!
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
Take a few minutes to contemplate or journal the following questions:
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents
If any of the strategies above feel like they may be a successful way to green light your child’s behavior, give them a try! In doing so, it can be helpful to keep track of your child’s behavior as a way to measure how well each strategy is working. This may include:
We have all been there. Walking through Target with our toddlers in tow; everything is going well until we have to walk by the toy section.
Your toddler sees a toy he has to have. In my case, it’s a truck. My son wants it and asks for it. Very gently, I tell him that he can’t have a toy today, but it doesn’t seem to matter that I say it kindly and calmly. My son starts reaching out for the toy, whining, and then the tears begin. I can see it written all over his sad little face; he is headed straight for tantrum town. This post originally appeared on A Fine Parent. Here’s the thing about tantrums–sometimes they are absolutely unavoidable. Perhaps I warned my son prior to going into the store that we wouldn’t be getting a toy on that trip. Maybe I even told him we could get one next time; or maybe I made the point of singing his favorite song or starting a game of “I Spy†right as we rounded the toy bin aisle. Yet…the tantrum STILL happened. ​ It isn’t our job as parents to make sure our toddlers’ lives are always happy and conflict free. In fact, wanting something that they cannot have is necessary for our young ones to learn how to handle disappointment.
Why Do We Not Want to Give Into Toddler Tantrums?
​As parents, we don’t enjoy seeing our little ones sad and it’s especially unpleasant to see (and deal with) them pitching a fit. When we see our toddler upset, our tendency is to problem solve–and for toddlers, this may mean giving in to the toy or activity they are seeking.
While this might be the road to least resistance, we have to resist the innate urge to swoop in and make everything better by letting go of our boundaries when our toddler scrunches up his face and opens his mouth to let out a big wail. Not giving into these tantrums helps our toddlers with:
​ In my research, I have found 6 effective ways to calm a toddler mid-tantrum. Read on to find out what they are! 
#1: Validate the Magnitude
One evening, my son was sad that his grandma had to leave to go home. He started crying uncontrollably as she tried to walk out the door. I realized at this moment that there were several ways in which I could respond to my son’s reaction. I could:
Another way to frame it that works well with my toddler is to pick two points and gradually stretch those points to be farther and farther apart. ​“Are you as sad as from the tippy-tip of your head down to your itty-bitty toe? Are you that sad? Or are you as sad as the top of the ceiling all the way down to the floor? Are you that sad? Wow! Or are you as sad from the top of the tree where the birds are all the way down to the dirt with the worms? Are you that sad? Are you as sad from way out to the sun all the way back to earth? That sad? That’s really sad!†Usually after one or two distances, my son’s tears subside as he looks at me in curiosity. He’s processing his level of sadness and before long, his tantrum is over. By validating the magnitude, we are letting our toddlers know that we are taking their feelings seriously and telling them that what they are experiencing is a big deal. The result is that our kids feel heard. ​ Another benefit, according to Dr. Becky, is that we are taking something abstract (the feeling) and making it concrete, which is less confusing to toddlers. Our toddlers feel seen and understood, and that may be all they need to calm down.
#2: You Didn’t Want That to Happen
Another strategy I learned from Dr. Becky is to emphasize how much you know your child didn’t want something (the thing they are upset about) to happen.
“Your toy broke. Wow. You didn’t want that to happen. That stinks.†The phrase “you didn’t want to happen†works so wonderfully in the moment compared to phrases like, “Next time, you need to be careful with your toys.†Think about how we feel when something bad or annoying happens to us. For example, we are rushing to load the dishwasher and grabbing too many dishes at once in our rush to load it. While unloading, we drop a dish and it shatters into a million pieces. What would we prefer our spouse say to us at that moment?
​ Our kids feel the same way. Lectures and advice can come later, when our child has calmed down. For now, during the tantrum, we can just simply say, “You didn’t want that to happen, did you?†​
#3: Use Sign Language
​Younger kids can have a hard time understanding abstract ideas and feelings. That’s where sign language comes into play.
I have started teaching my son signs for his feelings. Without a visual representation for their feelings, toddlers can be left feeling confused and frustrated by their inability to communicate the big emotions they are experiencing. This powerlessness eventually leads to a tantrum or meltdown. Research has also shown that sign language can help calm a child in a stressful situation and that children can often learn the sign for a word before the actual verbal word. My son now has a way to communicate and identify his feelings for the next time a situation arises. Instead of crying, he can say or sign that he’s sad, angry, scared, etc. I often sign the feeling in the moment in which my son or I are actually experiencing that feeling, including when my son is having a tantrum. For example, when my son is sad that TV time is over, he will often start crying and whining. I will repeatedly identify the feeling my son may be experiencing and back it up with the sign. “You are sad, sad, sad [signing the word sad over and over with exaggerated facial expressions]. It’s okay to be sad [Sign sad again]. But the dinger rang, and it’s time for bed. You can help me pick out a book to read.†​ ASL Nook, run by a Deaf family, has videos that teach kids their emotions and is a great resource for anyone wanting to learn sign language.
#4: Become a Broadcaster
I first heard of this strategy in Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block book. The premise behind it is to narrate and mimic your child’s emotions like a football broadcaster would do while calling a game.
Instead of immediately jumping in with our adult voice of reason (“No, I am sorry. We can’t have any TV now.â€), we can get on our child’s level and echo our kid’s feelings (Dr. Karp recommends repeating back with one-third of their level so as not to appear sarcastic or overdoing it). “TV, TV. You want TV now, now, now! You are sad! You are stomping your feet. You want TV! TV! Now. You want TV, now.†​ Doing this can stop our child’s tantrum in seconds because our toddler feels seen and heard. It may also be helpful to pair this tactic with the sign language mentioned in the previous section!
#5: Redirect
Once our child has started to settle down a bit (before they are fully recovered), we can use redirection to help them refocus on what they can do instead. Toddlers are told “no†often; so now we want to focus on the “yes.â€
Redirection can look like this: “TV time is over. But we can read THREE fun books together. Maybe some of your favorites. C’mon, you can help me pick them out.†The point is to take their minds off what they can’t have in the moment and shift to what they can do instead. Another way to redirect is to act the fool–a strategy by Dr. Karp. “TV time is over. I know that makes you sad. But can you help me with your bedtime routine? I forget how to do it. Hmm…do we first brush your toes? Do I bathe you in dirty mud? No, that can’t be right. Pleeasssseeeeee. I need your help!†​ This example of redirection will affirm how smart they are, build their confidence and instantly take their minds off wanting TV. It’s a major win for all! 
#6: Magic Breaths
I have heard of Magic Breaths (slow deep breathing) from a few places, including Dr. Karp’s book and the children’s show Daniel Tiger. My son and I practice magic breaths every night before bed, when my son is calm and focused. The point is to teach them in a calm moment so they can be used successfully during a tantrum.
When my son is having a tantrum and I get the feeling that he wants to hit or throw something, I will take his hand and place it by the top of his head. I will say “Magic Breath†and together we will take a deep breath, as I move his hand slightly lower. We will do this four times until his hand returns back to its normal position. ​ As our children get older, we can move from doing Magic Breaths with our children to reminding them about Magic Breaths when we sense their anger rising. In education, we call this shift the gradual release of responsibility; the purpose being to move from modeling, to reminding, to being able to do independently without prompting. Magic Breaths can always be part of our child’s toolkit, even as they grow older.
With these 6 strategies, we can breathe a sigh of relief the next time our toddler has the inevitable tantrum. Instead of feeling helpless and out of control like our toddlers, we have research-based, proven to work strategies that will calm the meltdown.
The next time your toddler starts gearing up for a breakdown, run through this list and find one that works for you and your toddler. ​ You got this!
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
​ Here are some questions to contemplate as you take a few minutes to assess how you currently react to your toddler’s tantrums:
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents As you move forward in seeking how best to use tantrums as an opportunity for your child to grow and learn, it may be helpful to assess where you are now so you can compare it to where you will be! Here is one helpful way to monitor long-term progress:
I have been a teacher for 11 years now. I have my Master’s in Reading Education. Teaching literacy is a passion of mine. I get giddy going to Reading and Literacy workshops because I know I’ll leave with a new idea and strategy to take back to my classroom.
And since I became a mom, ideas for my son to do at home. In today’s blog, I will break down 5 literacy activities that I am doing right now in my classroom that you, as parents, can easily do in your own home. For each activity, I will list the materials needed and the age range for the activity. Spoiler alert: I teach deaf and hard-of-hearing students at the high school level. My students have a wide range of reading and language levels, but one thing that is all the same is that they ACTUALLY like these activities. I know, mouth wide open emoji. Teenagers actually liking something. #gross. But, they have asked me to do these activities each week. And that’s when you know you have a good literacy activity on your hand, folks. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
So Without Further Ado….the 5 Literacy Activities
I saw this on Instagram from @thedimpledteacher and loved it. What is it? It is basically whiteboard sticky paper that you can place on the wall and use dry erase markers to scribble all over it. How am I using it? Kids love doodling and writing all over the board. I know I did when I was in school. Each month I have a topic or question displayed on the top, and students are invited to answer the question in the form of pictures, words, etc. They even can go up during free time to “graffiti” all over the paper. How to use it at home? Now, your little ones will be allowed to actually write all over the wall with this activity! Invite your kids to answer a question of the week or practice their ABCs or numbers. Or use the graffiti wall to do one of Busy Toddler’s activities or Days With Grey’s breakfast invitations. Or use it for kids to practice their spelling lists or hand writing. Or, or, or... Kids will like the novelty of “writing on the wall” and will be more willing to participate in whatever literacy activity you plan for them. Age Range? Any age!
2. Shades of Meaning
I first learned of this in a literacy workshop a few years ago. My students love this activity and hope your kids do as well. What is it? Find paint chip samples at any hardware store. I gather up a large variety of colors. Give your kids three words that mean roughly the same thing. How am I using it? They are going to reason through these three words and decide which has the strongest meaning and which has the weakest meaning. The word with the strongest meaning goes on the darkest shade, and the word with the weakest meaning goes on the lightest shade. For example, I will give my students the words ‘declare’, ‘say’, and ‘announce.’ My students will discuss in partners which one carries the strongest weight and makes more of an impact. Eventually, they determine that declare is the strongest word, announce goes in the meaning, and say is the weakest. I will ask for the train of thought and tell them that I agree with them. Finally, I will encourage them to use their strong words in writing and speech instead of always choosing weak words. How to use it at home? You can use it exactly as I use it or you can create your own spin to it. You can give your kids groups of three words, and they will have to rank which they like from least to best. Or smallest to largest. Or youngest to oldest. Or, or, or again. I would do this activity at the kitchen table or desk while you have to get something done but are still able to converse with them. Have your groups of three words and paint samples laid out on the table, explain the activity and model how to do one, and then go fix dinner or fold the laundry or heck even sit and sip coffee while they devour up this activity. Additionally, the paint chips make a cute decoration to your child’s room or playroom. I display mine around my classroom and it adds color and fun to the, otherwise, drab walls. Plus, they are a form of reference. Age Range? Kids should have the ability to read and copy down the words they see, so this could vary among kids. My suggestion is 6 and above.
3. Word Wall
I have been using a word wall in my classroom for 8 years now, and they have made a difference in my students’ vocabulary development. What is it? A display of talked about, important words that your students should know and remember. How am I using it? Our weekly vocabulary words, affixes, and idioms are displayed on the word wall for the whole year. Also, any word that we talk about that my students don’t know and that I deem important goes up on the word wall. Now, students have a frame of reference for these words. They can always see them, so the words are on the forefront of their minds. I also color code them, so the nouns are all one color, adjectives a different one, and the verbs a third color. How to use it at home? Anytime you talk about an important word in your family, put it up on the word wall (you can use the same paper for the graffiti wall). For your younger kids, you can have them print out a picture to go with the word. I would search Pinterest for different ways to display your word wall. But mine is just simple. Make sure your word wall is somewhere where your kids can see frequently. Age Range? Any age. 
4. PQRST
P = prefix. QR = queen root. S = suffix. T=total. I am a big fan of morphology and derivation. To get into the nitty gritty of morphological analysis, you can read my case study that I did on it in grad school here. What is it? PQRST is the process of teaching kids that words have smaller bits of meaning in them. And knowing the meaning of these morphemes helps determine the overall meaning of a word. How am I using it? First, I teach a weekly prefix, suffix, or root weekly, so students who have had me for 4 years get approximately 80 affixes directly taught to them. And, of course, they are exposed to more indirectly. Second, I teach them the PQRST strategy through direct instruction and modeling. I teach them that a lot of words can be broken down into a prefix (p), queen root (qr), and suffix (s). After identifying those morphemes, they are taught to find the meaning of each. Lastly, they are taught to add those smaller definitions together to form one total (T) definition that makes sense in context. Students love practicing with PQRST and my enthusiasm for the matter makes them love it more. How to use it at home? I would use your large graffiti wall to draw the diagram for PQRST (see picture below). Together, you can search for words to break down together. Or this can be a breakfast invitation or something you set up when you need to get ready. Or this can be a weekly homework activity. Or, or, or. Your kids will love this especially if they are able to use the big whiteboard paper. Age Range? 7-8 and above. 
5. Reading Chart
“Reading is to the mind as what exercise is to the body.” Get your kids reading. What is it? A reading chart is simple. It’s a list of books your students read. You can add extras to it if you like. How am I using it? Anytime my students read a book, they are to write it on a sheet of paper. Then, I have them answer some questions on a little piece of colored paper that I then display around the reading chart. The purpose is to highlight reading for pleasure with this no pressure activity. How to use it at home? I would use it the same way that I am doing. But maybe add some incentives. If your kids read so many books, they get something. I would also implement SSR (sustained silent reading) in your household. A time when your kids and you pick up a book and just read for 15-20 minutes. Set up a cozy reading corner and play soft music to set the mood. SSR is especially good for teenagers. Head to my website to see what I am reading or head to my teacher website to see the best books for teenagers. Age Range? You can do this at any age. But before your kids can read on their own, you will need to read the books to them and help them fill out the reading chart. 
There you have it! 5 literacy activities you can try at home today. Just remember that literacy activities at home should be low pressure and fun. We don’t want our kids losing their love for reading.
Have fun! 
We are at that age when my son has a lot of BIG feelings. And as a parent, my role is to be there to make sure he isn’t navigating these emotions alone.
Clinical psychologist and mom of three, Dr. Becky from Good Inside, says that oftentimes toddlers don’t find the actual feeling scary, but have a hard time when they think they are ALONE with the feeling. That’s when they might act out - hit, scream, throw, bite. It’s during those times when they are having trouble identifying and regulating those BIG feelings. So the best thing we can do as parents is to consistently talk about their feelings and give them names for what they are experiencing daily. Not only do we have to talk about their feelings, but we need to show them and help them practice identifying and regulating their emotions. To do this, you don’t need a fancy subscription to a Feelings Toolkit or the most expensive product advertised on social media. All you need are products found around your house or the local library to help you get started with teaching your toddlers about their feelings.
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
The 5 Best Products - Let’s Go
1. A Mirror
Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the happiest of them all? It’s you! That’s right, a mirror is a great way to teach about feelings. Break out a small handheld mirror and get to work on making faces for each feeling with your little one. All those mirror selfies will come in handy for this one. Hold the mirror up to your toddler's face and say, “Show me your sad face.” Together, make your most exaggerated sad face. For added teaching moments, give a scenario followed by what face you would make if that situation actually happened. “Your ice cream cone dropped to the floor. Oh no! Show me your sad face.” “You got a new toy for your birthday. Yay! Show me your happy face.” This works wonders because your toddler not only sees you modeling situations and the faces you make, but he can see his own face too and recognize what his emotions look like. You’ll have a blast with this one. 
2. Books
Books are one of the best ways to teach little kids about their feelings. You can either buy a book directly related to teaching emotions or read any book and point out the character’s feelings. Ask wh- questions as you read. No worries if your child is too young to answer back. Ask the question. Wait. And then answer for your toddler. Who is feeling sad? What happened to the boy? Why do you think he is so happy? _______ happened. How do you think that makes her feel? _______________ happened. What do you think will happen next? Some of the books I like related to feelings are…
3. Dolls/Stuffed Animals
Every kid probably has a handful of dolls and stuffed animals lying around. In fact, we got our son a little stuffed doll that looks like him that we named Lil’ Hen. Use these dolls or stuffed animals to act out situations. For example, Henry has been potty training, and he has been a little (and by a little I mean very) afraid of pooping on the toilet. I use his Lil’ Hen doll or favorite stuffed animal (Mr. Penguin) to act out trying to poop on the toilet. I talk about how they were scared beforehand but afterwards felt proud. Henry watches me act out these scenarios with fascination. If your toddler has been having an issue with hitting or biting, act it out with stuffed animals. Have one get angry and hit the other. Then, talk through how the animal that got hit would feel afterwards. I really like the stuffed animal WhatsItsFace because you can change the face of the animal to match the emotion. It has a happy, angry, sad, surprised, sleepy, and excited face. Act out each of these emotions and have your children find the face to match. As your kids grow, they can act out situations to match the face. Let your creativity loose with stuffed animals and dolls when it comes to emotions.
4. Markers and Construction Paper
Break out the markers and construction paper and draw different faces with different emotions. Point them out and have your toddler guess which feeling the face is conveying. You can even teach them that different colors convey emotions. For example, angrily scribble red lines everywhere and explain how red can mean anger. Or use green to represent envy or disgust. Then, let your little one take over with the markers and paper. You can give them prompts like: “How would you draw someone who is sad?” or let them have free reign. But whatever you do, do not correct them or tell them what to draw. There is no right or wrong here.
5. Music
Using music to teach emotions might be a little advanced for younger toddlers to truly grasp, but it is a great teaching method to help them understand the abstractness of feelings. Play different tempos of music and talk about what emotions they represent. For example, a head-banging, heavy metal tune could mean anger while the gentle flow of a babbling brook can mean peaceful, content, happy. Next, allow your children to make their own music with real instruments or makeshift ones. Banging loudly on pots of pans can be used to convey fury or anger. Just like with the markers, let your kids take over with this one.
Wrapping It Up
Whichever way you decide to use, remember that there is no wrong way to teach emotions as long as you are talking about them consistently and truthfully. Discovering their feelings is BIG for toddlers, and they don’t want to be left alone with them. Start by talking about them once a day or pick one of these methods to try each day. You don’t have to spend hours discussing feelings at length. Just 5-10 minutes here and there. You’ll discover a big difference once you all start talking about them more. A happier kid with more positive behaviors. For a video on how I am using sign language to teach emotions click here. And for the checklists I use when my toddlers have BIG emotions click here.
It’s one of those nights.
The kind of nights where my toddler does not want to go to bed and has made this abundantly clear by his squirms and whines and protests as I try to change his diaper and put on his pajamas. This post originally appeared on A Fine Parent. He doesn’t want to listen to Mommy. He’s tired of her telling him what to do. And frankly, I don’t blame him. Toddlers live in a world where they are constantly told “No,” what to do, and how to behave all day, every day. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that this would get tiring for them; resisting is often just an attempt to insert some independence! So what do I do? Instead of yelling and persisting full steam ahead, I take a pause and then pick up his little pajama top and try a different tactic. “Hmmm… does this go on your knee?” He stops and stares at me. “Nooo, does it go on your feet?” He starts to giggle. “Nope, not there. Hmm. Silly Mommy. Where does it go? I need your help!” Just like that, my toddler’s confidence has been raised a notch and he starts to help. He feels smart and in charge. And I, playing the fool, have him just where I want him. 
Why Do We Want to Boost Our Child’s Confidence?
It’s easy to believe in the notion that we, the parents, are the ultimate authority figures and our children must be compliant little beings.
While it is true that parents are in charge, we also want to make our children feel confident and their emotions validated. This is true for children of all ages, but it is especially important in the toddler years, when children begin to get a better understanding of who they are and what they can do. Along with that better understanding may come frustration. For toddlers, as compared to their older counterparts, frustration may feel like:
Boosting a child’s confidence has many benefits across an array of developmental areas, including:
When we reverse a child’s lower self-esteem and give them ways to feel confident, they are more likely to be cooperative to our requests. A more confident and cooperative child makes for a happier household! 
How Can We Boost Our Child’s Confidence?
Clearly, boosting our child’s confidence has benefits that help set them up for success throughout the whole of their childhood. The question is–how exactly do we do that? Read on to explore the best ways to boosting confidence and therefore decreasing behaviors!
#1: Play the Fool In his book, Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Harvey Karp offers some suggestions on how to boost our toddler’s confidence, starting with playing the fool. Much like pretending to not know how to put my son’s pajamas on correctly, Dr. Karp recommends using this strategy 10-20 times a day, and ensures parents that within a week they will begin to see their toddlers automatically become more cooperative. I often play the fool with my toddler during the routine, everyday tasks that my son begrudgingly has to do. For example, during dinnertime when he is upset about being taken away from playtime, I play the fool. I can do this in a number of ways according to Karp:
‘Playing the fool’ also works wonders when fear is involved in something our child doesn’t want to do, such as going to the doctor or dentist. As soon as they realize they are “smarter” than these two professions, their confidence builds and cooperation becomes easier. Finally, ‘playing the fool’ can be an effective strategy when a toddler prefers one parent over the other in a situation. Normally, I am the one who puts my toddler to bed, but some nights my husband does it. My toddler used to protest and beg for me. Instead of giving in, we played the fool. I would tell my son that Daddy would be putting him to bed and that he would have to help Daddy with the bedtime routine because Daddy was silly and would mess it up. My husband, in on the act, would play this up and purposefully act as if he was going to mess it up. “I am going to put a new diaper on your head” or would pretend to sit on my son’s lap to read a bedtime book. My son soon learned that bedtime with Daddy wasn’t so bad. Afterall, he was smarter than Daddy when it came to the nighttime routine. Worried that ‘playing the fool” will make your toddler lose his respect for you or be bad if done too much? Dr. Karp says this: “Not at all. Your child knows you’re not really weak or a baby. You’re his ultimate hero. You’ll never lose his respect just because you goof with him a little bit. In fact, he’ll love you even more for it. Think of playing the boob as an ancient form of flattery (a fundamental tool of diplomacy). It’s like buttering up the king: ‘Oh, Your Lordship, you are soooooo strong!’”
#2: Gossip About Your Child
Yes, you heard that right! Go ahead and talk about your child in a way that guarantees they will overhear you talking about them, while pretending that you don’t even notice they are there. I’m talking about doing your best exaggerated whisper yell, hands cupped to your mouth, the most dramatic imitation of gossiping possible to whomever or whatever (Daddy, a stuffed animal, a toy) is nearby. But here is the catch. You are not not going to drone on about all the things they did wrong. You are going to reiterate what they did well by using concrete examples. “Psstttt, Teddy, guess what your boy did today? When Mr. Dinger went off, he went straight upstairs to get ready for bed without even crying!!! Can you believe that? Should we clap for him?” Dr. Karp suggests that gossiping green lights good behavior and can be an effective strategy to boost confidence, starting around 15-18 months. Why can this strategy be helpful? Well, think about how confidence works for us, as adults. What do we prefer more: Our significant other directly telling us that we are doing a good job or overhearing them bragging about it to someone else? I would bet that most people would choose the latter. Overhearing a positive remark that was not necessarily meant for our ears can often feel more authentic! Toddlers feel the same way. If it’s being whispered as a secret, Mommy must really mean it. It must be important and I should pay close attention. Gossiping fills up a toddler’s self-esteem cup. It’s hard to stay within the strict boundaries that so many adults set up. Overhearing all the things they did right makes them confident in themselves and more likely to continue doing those actions. 
#3: Give Responsibilities to Our Children
According to Dr. Jazmine McCoy, who runs her popular site, The Mom Psychologist, 2-3 year-old toddlers are old enough to be given chores. She goes on to say that chores are a great way to teach our children responsibility and the value of contributing to the household. Toddlers this age love being helpful and doing chores helps them feel confident and important. In our household, our son has the responsibility of throwing things away in the trash and being in charge of his checklist. His nighttime routine hangs in our room and after he completes each item, he can go over to the checklist and check it off, which he so proudly does. When giving children chore responsibilities, make sure they are age appropriate so as to ensure that frustration doesn’t interfere! Read on for age-appropriate options: Ages 2-3:
All of these little ways throughout the day can boost a toddler’s self-esteem in no time and make for a happier home; one where a toddler can feel confident, capable, and cooperative. 
4: Establish Connections With Your Children
Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids, recommends establishing emotional connections and strong bonds with your child at an early age. These connections lead to more resilient and confident kids later in life. What does this look like? Dr. Markham emphasizes the need for physical touch and sharing simple, intimate moments like laughing together, snuggling, kissing a boo-boo, discussing a hard decision, and spending time in nature. Strong bonds do not require elaborate thought and entertaining your child 24/7 but rather just being present in your child’s life. In our house, we do time-ins or as Dr. Markham refers to, “special time.” Our time-ins are planned or unplanned bits of time scattered throughout the day. They are usually 10-30 minutes of uninterrupted, technology-free time in which we simply spend time with our child by playing, talking, strolling, reading, or quietly observing our son. In a busy, distracted world it’s easy to always be on the go or checking a device; but by doing intentional time-ins we build those needed connections with our son and lose the guilt from when we do have to be on our phones or working on our computers. When we see that our son is particularly whiny or frustrated, we try to pause and do an unplanned quick time-in to fill up his emotional bank. Once that is full, he has the confidence to play on his own. Time-ins make for a happier home, less stressed parents, and confident children. 
The 2-Minute Action Plan
As you take the next two minutes to reflect on your current parenting practices centered around boosting your child’s confidence, here are some questions to contemplate:
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you might want to consider some of the strategies above to boost your toddler’s confidence.
The Ongoing Action Plan
As you move forward in your parenting journey, consider trying out the strategies we just reviewed. It can be helpful to try one strategy at a time, while also tracking your child’s behavior- this process can aid in our understanding of what strategy works best in boosting our child’s confidence! You can try the following steps:
This summer has been the Summer of Pom Poms. I am not sure why it took me so long to discover how great Pom Poms are but alas here we are.
My son loves Pom Poms! They are a toddler activity that is guaranteed fun. Besides just being a fun, entertaining activity, Pom Poms have helped my son develop some pretty important skills.
Benefits of Playing With Poms
I have been a teacher for 10 years now. Before that, I worked with preschoolers at a Summer Day Camp and babysat regularly. Entertaining kids, planning schedules, and creative play are passions of mine that I have studied in my undergraduate and graduate programs and researched extensively. BUT, I never realized how beneficial and wonderful Pom Poms are until now! Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.
My 7 Pom Pom Ideas-Let’s Get Rolling
1. Pom Pom Bath This one I have to admit I borrowed from Busy Toddler. After seeing it on her Instagram page a few times and my friend sending me the link to this activity, I decided to give it a try and see what all the hype was. Well, a Pom Pom bath is a hit! My son did not want to get out of the bathtub. He loved scooping and dumping the Pom Poms using plastic cups. All I did was buy a few bags of colorful Pom Poms and dump them in the bathtub. I put in some cups and my son did the rest. The clean up is super easy too. Get a colander and scoop up the Pom Poms. They dry pretty easily. Warning: Depending on the kind of drain you have, the little Pom Poms can go down the drain easily. Pro Tip: Don’t show or tell your child how to play with the Pom Poms. Let him figure out and then sit back and be amazed at your toddler’s creativity. Skills working on: Independent play and creativity. Supplies Needed: 
2. Color Sort
I was skeptical of whether my son would actually enjoy this next activity, but he did once he understood what to do. I took some painter’s tape and made a big chart on our floor. 4 rows and 4 columns. Then, I showed him how to sort by colors. This red one goes here. Does this yellow one go with the red one? No. The yellow one goes here. After modeling what to do, I took a step back. This is important. Resist the urge to want to correct every wrong one. I wanted to see what he would do. And guess what? He didn’t get it right at first or the next time. But after a few more repeated attempts and modelings, I happened to glance over, and he was doing it. I heard him whisper to himself when he would find a wrong color with a sort, No, and then he would correct himself. Skills working on: Independent play, categorizing, colors Supplies Needed:
3. Counting
This next idea is one that you might have to sit down and play with your toddler, depending on his age level. I bought a big die from the Dollar Store and wrote the numbers 1-6 on it. Then, I put all the Pom Poms in one large bin. I used the graph from the previous activity (4 by 4 chart made with the painters tape). I would have my son roll the die. Together, we would say what number it landed on. Whatever that number was, we would count out that many Pom Poms and place them in the chart. After a few rounds of doing it together, I always like to step back and see how my son would do it on his own. Pro Tip: Once you take a step back, don’t correct or ask questions. Just narrate and use a strategy called Parallel Talk or Tracking. Skills working on: Independent play and counting. Supplies Needed:
4. Pretend Play
It’s time to get imaginative on this next activity and encourage that pretend play. When encouraging pretend play, you often want to mix items from the real world with pretend items. What I did was take some of our real frying fans and mixing spoons and then I combined those with the Pom Poms. The Pom Poms became our “meatballs.” My son loved mixing the Pom Poms in the frying pans and pretending like he was making something. He has one of those toy kitchens and after a while he brought the Pom Poms over to that to “boil,” “fry,” “bake,” and “serve” them. Pro Tip: This is a great time for a 10-minute time-in. Sit with your child and let him take the lead, joining in on the fun. After the time-in step back and let him continue playing on his own. Skills working on: Independent play and creativity. Supplies Needed:
5. Scooping
This next activity was a big hit with my son. I think he could literally play with this activity for hours. What I did was have two muffin tins side by side, but you could use two bins or pots or whatever you have around the house. In one of the muffin tins I put all the Pom Poms and for an element of surprise wrapped it in tissue paper. The other tin was left uncovered. This got Henry interested in what was going to happen. I instructed him to break, tear, or rip through the tissue paper to see what he would find. Then, I showed him how to scoop the Pom Poms from one bin to the other. And kids love this! Eventually, he began scooping the Pom Poms into his dump trucks and that was fine with me. Pro Tip: Have your child scoop and sort by color from one tin into the next. Skills working on: Independent play, fine motor skills, and sorting. Supplies Needed: 
6. Pinching
This one is very similar to the previous one, but instead your toddler is going to use tongs. At first, this one was hard for Henry to grasp. Literally. But with a lot of encouragement and modeling, he eventually got the hang of it and had a blast pinching Pom Poms from one muffin tin to the next. You can do this in a number of ways. For starters, you can have your child use tongs to grab Pom Poms and transfer them from one muffin tin to the next. Or you can use tongs for the color sort and counting. Or you can do a whole new activity. Busy Toddler has a similar activity called Animal Tape Rescue. But you can adapt it for Pom Poms. Get a bin and fill it with a little water. Food coloring is optional for added fun. Add in the Pom Poms. Then cover the top of the bin with painters tape, leaving little slits for your toddler to reach in and “save” the Pom Poms. Warning: This is not easy, but it is a good workout for little hands and perseverance. Pro Tip: Really build it up that this is a rescue mission. Skills working on: Fine motor skills and creativity. Supplies Needed:
7. Frozen Pom Poms
Want an easy activity on a hot day? Freeze the Pom Poms. It’s that easy and makes for a great water table and sensory bin activity. Another Busy Toddler favorite, all you have to do is put two Pom Poms in one ice cube tray and add a little water. Freeze it. And bam. That’s it. Then recycle those bins and cups and spoons and tongs and let your toddler decide how she wants to play. Skills working on: Independent play, creativity, and fine motor skills Supplies Needed:
What activity are you going to try with your toddler today?
I recently read Susie’s of Busy Toddler daily routine, and I realized her daily schedule has a lot of similarities to mine. I want to share mine as well.
I have been following this schedule with my toddler for about a year now. I’m a teacher and have the summers off, so this is my Summer/Weekends/Holiday Breaks Schedule. It is flexible, not rigid. Keep in mind that I only have one child right now, and a schedule should be what works for you, not someone else. However, there are 10 productivity hacks I do every day that you can use in your daily routine to try out if you feel as if you can never get ahead in the day and aren't chasing time.
My 10 Productivity Habits-Let’s Get Rolling
I have been a teacher for 10 years now. Before that, I worked with preschoolers at a Summer Day Camp and babysat regularly. Entertaining kids, planning schedules, and creative play are passions of mine that I have studied in my undergraduate and graduate programs and researched extensively on my own before you start comparing yourself to me. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.
1. Morning Routine
My morning routine is the single most important thing to my day. If it doesn’t go right, my day is thrown off. I can just tell. At this point in time, my son is almost 2 and a half, and he is sleeping till roughly 7:30 AM. I get up anywhere between 6:00-7:00. I let my body naturally wake me up, but I prefer to be up by 6:30, so I have at least an hour to myself. That is important -starting my day with myself. Even though my son wakes up at 7:30, I don’t get him until 8:00 when his Hatch goes off. He is content playing in his crib and talking to himself. I think it is important for his self-development that he learns to be and play on his own. That is why I do not get him right away (And, you got me, I like the little bit of extra time to myself). You can read more in-depth about my morning routine here. But, I like to spend part of the time in silence and gratitude, and then I transition to straightening anything up and prepping for the day. Finally, I always set a morning goal. For me, it’s working on my Pinterest Page or my blog. With this solid morning routine, I feel refreshed and ready to go grab Henry from his room. I’m not distracted by all that I have to do, and I am able to administer my first time-in of the day.
2. 5-Minute To-Do List
Now that my morning routine is complete, and I have gotten Henry up, dressed and downstairs, I like to have a solid game plan of what the day is going to look like and within that day I have my 5-Minute To-List fresh in my mind or written down in my planner or notes. A 5-Minute To-Do List is a list of tasks that can get done in, you guessed it, 5 minutes. I learned about this tip from the authors of Parenting While Working From Home. You’ll be amazed how many of these 5-minute windows you have throughout the day. It’s not enough time to start something major, but it’s enough time not to “waste.” I am a firm believer in sitting and enjoying the silence without always looking for a distraction, so sometimes on my 5-Minute To-Do List is exactly that. Sit and enjoy the peace, take a couple deep breaths, or say a prayer. But if you are not wanting to do that for every 5-minute opportunity you have, here are some ways you can take advantage of the time:
Whatever you decide to do, have your list ready for when another 5-minutes comes your way and see how it makes you feel. 
3. Independent Play
While I am making breakfast and then later cleaning up the kitchen from it, I encourage independent play without the TV. Susie from Busy Toddler, on the other hand, was the opposite. She allowed her children to watch one show while she made breakfast and then encouraged independent play throughout the rest of the day. I normally do screen time in little increments throughout the day. I try for the rest of the time, to set the expectation that Henry is going to play on his own with Mommy occasionally joining in to facilitate the play or do a needed time-in. But it really depends on how the day is going. Independent play was taught to Henry from an early age. The research on the benefits of it is too important to do without it. How do you get kids to play alone?
Once your children have learned to play independently, you can sit back with your coffee and marvel at their creativity and wonder or read a book or do some work. Guess what? The choice is yours.
4. Being Unbusy
Like Susie, I like being “unbusy.” That means while the kids are still toddler and preschool ages, they are not enrolled in a thousand activities that have you pulled in a thousand directions. Kids learn best through play at this age, and by gosh, I am going to let the kids play without breaking the bank on art classes, soccer camp, piano lessons. Instead our days are usually wide open, and we are free to do what we like. Your kids can get plenty of social interaction by playing with the neighborhood kids, going to local parks and playground, visiting the library and attending storytime there, setting up playdates with your friends’ kids, and hitting up the community pool. 
5. Leave the House Every Day
Another thing that Susie and I have in common is that we leave the house every day. For us, we usually go somewhere in the morning and somewhere in the afternoon. Our morning excursion usually is a run in the neighborhood or a local trail. We try to leave the house at 9:30-10:00. I run and push Henry in the stroller, and we try to go to a playground after my run. My morning run gives me the energy boost I need for the rest of the day, and it’s my time to listen to podcasts. I listen to them out loud so Henry can hear. I kill three birds with one stone this way. I get my exercise in. I get my learning in. Henry gets a free ride through nature and his exercise at the playground in. Henry is happy. I am happy. Win-win. Leaving the house doesn’t need to be extravagant. It can be a trip to Target or a visit to family. It can be a walk to the park or run to Chick-Fil-A. Doesn’t matter. Try to leave. Makes everyone happier.
6. Nap Time Plan
We arrive back at the house between 11:30-12:00 and have lunch. Soon after lunch is NAP TIME. I love my son, but naps are super important to me. They make everyone happier in our household. Currently, Henry naps from 12:30-3:00. Before the nap even begins I have a well-thought out strategy on how I want to use my time for nap. There are few things I want to accomplish during a nap:
I try to only do things that I know I can’t do while Henry is awake. Working on my computer is a big one. Watching my TV shows is another. Obviously napping and diving deep into a good book. I typically don’t waste Nap Time doing any chores or cleaning because I can do those things while Henry is up. I also can shower and get ready while Henry is awake (I plop him in the big tub next to our shower stall, and he has fun splashing around. I can clearly see him). Although I will shower and get ready while Henry naps if a.) I want to leisurely take my time or b.) Need to be quick without a lot of interruptions. However you decide to use nap time/quiet time, have a plan so you can execute it efficiently as soon as your little one’s head hits the pillow.
7. Nap Time Is Sacred
As I mentioned, nap time is important. I wear many hats: mom, wife, teacher, writer, reader, coach, antiracist, Christian, friend, etc. In order to nourish those areas, I need the nap time. Because of that, I am pretty strict with scheduling and going places during naps. Very rarely do I allow naptime to be skipped. Also, very rarely do I go anywhere during nap times. Nap allows me to work on my side hustle and passion projects. They are sacred. I have gotten pretty comfortable with saying “no” to things scheduled during those hours. I also don’t spend the whole nap cleaning and doing chores. I prefer to subscribe to the method of cleaning a little at a time. This is just an example: Monday I’ll spend 10 minutes dusting. Tuesday toilets. Wednesday sweep and vacuum. Etc. 
8. Social Media Days
I do love social media. I learn so much through Instagram and even FB now that I am in writer and parenting groups. However, I am well aware it can be an enormous time waster. That is why I have social media days. I randomly picked three days of the week-Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays-when I am allowed to scroll guilt-free through social media at any time I want for however long I want. The other days I don’t get on (most of the time). I end up not even spending that long on social media even on the days I can go on. It’s just become a habit. I check a few accounts that are informative, laugh at a few stories, and look at cute pictures of kids and dream of places to travel on traveling blogs. Then, I get off and resume my day. Try social media days to maximize productivity. If you want to get real about it, I have no social media in my 30-Day Challenge. 
9. Very Little TV Throughout the Day
Here, I would like to make a quick note on my TV-watching habits. I’ll be honest, I don’t really watch TV during the day. It’s not on in the background because I get too distracted. I reserve TV mostly for the night when spending time with my husband or during nap time when I need a break from the day.
10. Put Kids to Bed Early and Don’t Feel Guilty
So Henry usually wakes up at 3:00. After a snack, we try to leave the house again in the afternoon so the day doesn’t drag on until dinner. If we don’t, Henry plays until dinner at 6:00. James cooks. I clean up. Henry has some TV until the dinger goes off at 7:15-7:30. We do our bedtime routine and Henry is in his crib at 8:00. Henry doesn’t always fall asleep right away. Sometimes he isn’t even altogether sleepy judging by the way he is singing to himself and doing acrobats in his crib. But he is happy and learning an important skill of not needing Mommy and Daddy to fall asleep. Do I ever go back in to hold him just a bit longer? Absolutely. But the nights I don’t, I don’t feel guilty because the time spent after he goes to bed for myself and my marriage is really important as well. I wrap up the day by heading to bed at 10:00.
And that’s my day!
As much as all parents hate toddler tantrums and do our best to avoid them with all the positive parenting strategies out there, tantrums are inevitable and will show up from time to time.
We've all been there. Toddler is in the store and sees something she wants. She has to have it...NOW!! We set our boundary of "no" and then hold it despite the mounting tears welling up behind your toddlers eyes. A wail escapes. It's happening! A meltdown. In the middle of the store. Before it starts to escalate to defcon 5, what do you do?
Try this positive parenting hack that will almost guarantee to calm a toddler tantrum in under 2 minutes.
Validate the Magnitude
Parents, you are going to do your best to remain calm despite the stares you might be getting from strangers. I highly suggest you close your eyes and take four deep breaths. Then... You are going to validate the magnitude of your toddler's tantrums. Your toddler is having BIG feelings right now, and we, as parents, want to recognize that. I first heard of this from Dr. Becky at Good Inside. First, you want to OK the feeling. "You're feeling sad, angry, frustrated because you want the doll you saw. It's okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated." Then, you are going to hold your boundary. "But I said you can't have a new toy today. I'm sorry that makes you sad." Now, you are going to VALIDATE the MAGNITUDE "How sad are you right now? Are you this sad? [Hold hands close to your body like you are measuring something] Are you this sad? [Continue to stretch your hands wider] Wow! You are this sad? [Stretch your hands really wide] That's really sad!" Another way to frame it that works well with my toddler is to pick two points and gradually stretch those points to be farther and farther apart. "Are you as sad from the tippy tip of your head down to your itty bitty toe? Are you that sad? Or are you as sad as the top of the ceiling all the way down to the floor? Are you that sad? Wow! Or are you as sad from the top of the tree where the birds are all the way down to the dirt with the worms? Are you that sad? Are you as sad from way out to the sun all the way back to earth? That sad? That's really sad! Usually after one or two distances, my son's tears subside as he looks at me in curiosity. He's processing his level of sadness. And before long, his tantrum is over. 
Why it Works?
By validating the magnitude, we are letting our toddlers know that we are taking their feelings seriously and telling them that what they are experiencing is a big deal.
Our kids feel heard. Another thing, according to Dr. Becky, is that we are taking something abstract (the feeling) and making it concerte which is less confusing to toddlers. That's why I also like to use sign language when teaching my toddler about his feeling or in the middle of his tantrum. Our toddlers feel seen and understood, so... They start to calm down. And you can carry on in peace with a whole room full of parents impressed by you.
|
Archives
November 2021
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
Photo used under Creative Commons from does_not_travel_often
