It’s no surprise that society likes to joke about the tired mom. 

TV shows play homage to her by having her mistakenly leave the house in her pajamas, robe, and slippers. Mom buns is now a common phrase. And we’ve all seen memes or pictures of a mom with huge bags under her eyes as she juggles the laundry, her kids pulling her in different directions, and trying to talk on the phone. 

But a tired mom is no laughing matter. Sleep deprivation has serious side effects. 

Difficulties with sleep and insomnia can linger far after the newborn phase.  The tired mom, so weary from the day, collapses on her bed, and the next thing she knows she is unable to fall asleep. It’s frustrating. 

I know because I’ve been there. I struggled with insomnia and sleep anxiety for many months. The rest of my house lay asleep peacefully while I tossed and turned with sheer panic. 

It’s awful, and if you’re going through this, you’re not alone, and I have some tips for you. 

*DISCLAIMER: The information and advice in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or other professions. Call your medical or mental health professional, or 911, for all emergencies. Lauren Barrett is not liable for any advice or information provided in this blog. 

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When we put our head down on the pillow, we don’t want to have to worry about anything other than sleeping. Eating after 8PM can lead to digestive issues that can disrupt our sleeping. 

When I was having trouble with sleep, I didn’t want any external factors to get in the way, so I eliminated eating after 8PM. 

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Despite the classic stereotypes of tired moms “needing” wine to unwind before bed, I learned that drinking alcohol up to four hours before bed can mess with one’s sleep. 

If I did happen to drink, I would limit myself to one glass. Tired moms, there are plenty of other ways to unwind before bed. Don’t let society fool you into thinking that drinking is one of them. 

The best thing for an overwhelmed, stressed out mom is sleep. Let’s not jeopardize it by drinking. 

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Sleep hygiene is so important for adults and kids too. Just like it’s hard for me to go to sleep right after exercising or being on my phone for a while, I can’t be expected to go to bed after watching a stimulating TV show or vigorously texting. 

That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate bedtime struggles. 

Setting the mood can look like this: 

• Dimming all the lights at least a half hour before bed.
  
• Shutting off the TV right before bedtime. 
  
• Lowering the temperature. 
  
• Switching on a calming music from the sound machine. 
  
• Speaking in softer, hushed voices. 
  
• Lowering the volume on all sounds. 
  
• Take a warm shower.
  

By setting the mood, we are preparing ourselves for sleep and getting ourselves to feel tired. 

Even if I find myself getting home late or doing something stimulating later in the evening than normal, I have to take at least a half hour to an hour to unwind out of bed and bedroom. 

Tired moms need that time to be by themselves and have some peace and quiet after the chaos and noise of the day. 

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There is a big reason why turning off screens after 9PM is the first thing on my list for my Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge. Seeing as sleep is one of, if not the, most important things we can do for our bodies, we need to make sure our bodies are ready for sleep when we go to lie down. 

Screens, especially the blue light from our phones and I-pads, can mess with proper sleep. I find that after scrolling social media or going down a rabbit hole on Wikipedia or texting away with a friend, I have a harder time going to sleep. 

That is why I turn on Do Not Disturb for 9:00 PM-6:00 AM. I like to have at least an hour away from my phone before bed. 

Does this mean that I never check my phone? No. I just don’t engage in any activity that has me staring at it for too long. 

As for TV screens, I like to turn off the TV about a half hour before I go to sleep.

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I think the research on melatonin can be a little vague at times, but I still like to take 1-2 before bed even if only to serve as a placebo effect. 

I chew these about a half hour before bed and let them work their magic. 

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I’ve started to spend less time in my bedroom and my bed is only for sleeping and well…

Research has shown that the more time spent in our bedtime the more sleep difficulties we’ll have later in the night. 

So Moms, get out of your bedrooms. There is no wonder that houses are starting to put more real estate value on outdoor spaces instead of bedrooms. 

After moving into our new house, we even have said that the bedroom will be the last room in the house we make over simply because we hardly spend time there. 

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A large part surrounding my difficulties sleeping was because I was so anxious about not sleeping. I would be tired, but as soon as I got into bed, I would start worrying and wondering if I would be able to sleep. The more I worried and wondered, the more I couldn’t sleep. It was a vicious cycle. 

For that reason, I had to develop some mindful thinking and meditative practice for bed. For me, that was slowing down my breathing and taking a few deep breaths while I used a strategy called Finding the Good. 

I would go through my day and pick out all the good things that happened. I would also ruminate on the good things of the future. Our minds have been trained to quickly go to all that can go wrong and all the negatives that happened that we have to really work to find the good.

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Instead of being on screens before bed, which we know can disrupt sleep, Moms should find some hobby they could do before bed that helps take their minds off any anxiety they have. 

Dooms scrolling on phones is a thing that unfortunately, I myself along with other moms have gotten caught up in. 

Instead I have started reading before bed. 

Other hobbies can be: scrapbooking, writing, knitting, sewing, yoga, and meditating.

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There is no such thing as “catching up on sleep”. Because of that, I try to wake up and go to bed roughly at the same time every night of the week, including weekends. 

Your body will become used to this schedule and, in turn, be more likely to have good quality sleep. 

I know, as a mom, that after the kids go to bed we only have very little precious time to a.) straighten up the house; b.) spend time with our spouse; and c.) spend time alone in “me time.” Because we want to do all that, we might fight to stay awake. This is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination and women and college students are most affected by it. 

Experts don’t recommend that moms do this because not getting enough sleep for the next day will leave moms trapped in a stressed out cycle. 

Instead go to bed at consistent times and follow my bedtime tips to help the nighttime routine go smoother without so much stalling from your kids and divide those household duties with your spouse by using Fair Play  And finally, don’t be afraid to do chores and cleaning while your kids are awake and give them responsibilities of chores to do.

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If you are like me, my insomnia got so bad that I had to ask my doctor for a pill. I hadn’t slept in 48 hours (turns out I was being overmedicated for my autoimmune disease - but that is a different story).

The pill worked wonders. I ended up gradually weaning myself off the pills,  (That should be the purpose of most pills that alter your mind chemically) [LINK] but just knowing that I had the pills just in case helped me fall asleep faster and better. 

Sometimes we need that kickstart to help us sleep. And I knew that once I started getting a few decent nights of sleep, my overall physical and mental health would improve drastically. And it did. 

But have a plan to gradually get yourself off the pill by using other holistic sleeping strategies. 

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Whether you’re in the throes of sleep deprivations or just a tired mom who could use a little more sleep, I hope these tips help. 

I really have empathy for people who are having trouble sleeping, and I say a prayer each night for all of you. 

Allowing yourself to get enough sleep is one of the most selfless acts of love you can do for yourself and the people around you. When I get enough sleep, I’m a better mom, wife, teacher, and overall person. 

Happy sleeping! Hope this post wasn’t a snooze fest. 

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Have you ever noticed how you feel during your child’s tantrum? Maybe you start having hot flashes or your heart beats really fast. You feel anger boiling inside you. 

All those are normal reactions to your child’s tantrum. 

But we have two choices from where to go from there….

We can either let our feelings escalate which usually results in our yelling at our kid, getting into power struggles, or labeling our kids with phrases like “Why are you always so bad?” 

Or…

We can choose to remain calm during tantrums and curb our stressed out feelings. Easier said than done, right? 

Keeping calm during tantrums isn’t always easy, but it is the right choice to make for ourselves and our kids. Here’s why…

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Considering your child isn’t in any danger, focus on yourself first during a tantrum.  

Imagine you're flying in an airplane and you hit some turbulence and the plane starts rumbling and bumping up and down. You might feel a little scared and anxious, so you look around to see the reactions of the flight attendants and wait to see what the pilot has to say. 

Now, imagine if the flight attendants and pilots started freaking out. Your anxiety would most likely escalate and cause you to freak out too. But if the pilot and flight attendants were poised and calm, you would start to relax too. 

Kids are the same way during turbulent times. Kids mirror the reactions of the person in charge.

If you are calm, they will start to be calm too. 

If you are upset, they will be too, and your children will realize that they have more power when they see their parents aren't calm. And that is unsettling to them. An upset, enraged parent can signal to your child that his emotions are too much for my parents.

On the other hand, a calm and confident parent lets your kids know that you can handle their big emotions and just by knowing that can help them start to feel better. 

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Staying calm during a tantrum doesn’t have to be hard when we have a toolkit of resources to use every time. With practice and consistency we can master staying calm during our child’s tantrum. 

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During my son’s tantrums, I will first close my eyes, put my hand on my belly, and take 5 deep, slow breaths. By doing this, I am able to block out what my son is doing and toward inward. 

It gives me the needed time not to say or do anything but simply focus on calming myself. What’s great is that my son takes notice, and he might even do his magic breaths himself. 

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I, then, open my eyes and repeat a mantra either out loud or in my head while still keeping my hand on my belly. 

Having a mantra can look like this: 

“This is hard, but I will get through this.” 
“I am in control of the situation.” 
“I can handle this.” 

A mantra will reaffirm that you are the one in control and that you are able to handle the situation. Seems obvious, but sometimes during a tantrum we let our kids take over and we quickly feel as if we are losing control. 

That’s why we need a mantra. 

Saying it out loud even works in calming your kids because they take notice of what is being said. 

Have a go to mantra and practice saying it in the mirror and during every tantrum. 

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So, you have taken your deep breaths and repeated your mantra. Now have a visualization to make you remain calm. 

Some moms have reported that they imagine themselves in a superhero cape. They are standing on top of a large building with their cape whipping in the wind. They have the power to hold boundaries and remain calm in the face of danger (or, in this case, a tantrum). 

Do not underestimate the power of visualization.

For added effect, it would help if you have an actual superhero cape to put on. Stand on the couch and pose like a superhero. If nothing else, your child will wonder what on earth Mommy is doing. 

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I like to use this bubble strategy in public because sometimes I forget that my toddler’s meltdown only involves my toddler and me. No one else. 

But when we are around other people and our kid is having a meltdown, it is easy to imagine judgment from other people. That causes us to get worked up and say things like “Look at the other kids. Are they being bad like you?” or to look around at other strangers and roll your eyes and say, “Look at everyone staring at you.” 

Those comments are not helpful. 

So what I need to do in order to block out all the people around me is to form a metaphoric bubble around my child and me. No one else can see into the bubble. We cannot see out. 

This strategy helps me really focus on the needs of myself and my child without worrying about the perception from other people. 

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Using sign language has proven benefits to calm kids. Using sign language also calms myself. 

Some signs to use: calm, angry, happy, peace, quiet, confident, brave. 

Just like your mantra, you can repeat your sign language mantra over and over again. For example, I am CALM and CONFIDENT even though you are ANGRY. I WANT PEACE. 

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I haven’t specifically done this one yet, but I read about it and love it! While your child is having a tantrum, get up and do jumping jacks. 

For starters, they will be intrigued at what you are doing, and secondly, exercise can calm you. 

Doing the jumping jacks will take your mind off what your child is upset about. 

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It’s hard to be angry with someone who has a good reason for being upset. That’s why I try to apply the Most Generous Interpretation (MGI) to my son’s tantrum, and just by doing that makes me relax and remain calm. 

It helps me realize that he isn’t purposefully trying to make me upset and that he isn’t a bad kid. 

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There you have it! My 7 secrets to staying calm during a tantrum. I hope these help. And always remember that if you don’t remain calm, you can always repair and try again. ​

One of my favorite things to do is listen and watch my 3-year old son independently play. 

It’s so cute to see the way their minds work and all the imaginative scenarios they act out. 

The other day he was using his play mat to build a castle and racing his cars through it. He was so proud to show off what he was doing too. It melted my heart. 

But how did we get there? Let’s explore some key ideas of how to foster independent play for toddlers before we arrive at the best open ended toys. 

• Why do we want to encourage independent play? 
• How do we encourage independent play? 
• What are open-ended toys? 
• 14 must-buy open-ended toys
• Household items used for independent play

Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.  ​

Play is work for kids. Their job is literally to play. And, they don’t need adults to participate in play. We, actually, stifle play and creativity. Our presence gets in their way. 

Susie Allison of the BusyToddler says that adults (with great intentions) cause a shift in the play that removes: responsibility from the child, the chance for problem solving, and the way play is structured. 

That’s why independent play is such a win! Win for our toddler because they are developing important lifelong skills. And a win for us because it takes away the guilt and pressure to feel like we have to be doing MORE. 

Does this mean we can never play with our kids? Of course not. If we want to jump in from time to time, we should. This just means that if we don’t want to play with our kids, we should definitely not feel bad about it. 

Where parents are necessary in building those connections is through reading together, modeling appropriate behaviors and actions, conversations in the car, dinner table, or on a walk, working through problems and solutions, and being their guide in the world. 

They don't need us to play. Play is innate. 

Research show other benefits of important play for little kids: 

• It enhances brain structure and function. 
• Promotes executive function (the process of learning)
• Supports the formation of the safe, stable, and nurturing relationships
• Promote the social-emotional, cognitive, language, and self-regulation skills
• Better able to think creatively and multitask.
• Increased quality and quantity of language.
• Pretend play encourages self-regulation.

Now that we know how crucial independent play is, we can ask ourselves the next question. 

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I am not going to dive deeply into each one. I go into each one more deeply in my course, Now What? 

But here are 8 steps to encourage independent play. 

1. Start by playing together. 
   
2. Gradually back away for a very short period of time. Like 1-2 minutes. Maybe even less depending on your child. No matter how long they played without you, PRAISE them. Increase this time by a few seconds each time you play.  
   
3. Sprinkle in time-ins throughout the day to fill up your child’s attention cup. 
   
4. Be honest with why you won’t play with them. “I need to work, but I’ll be close by.” “I really like watching you play.” 
   
5. Once your kid is engaged in play, stay out of it. No need to pepper them with questions. That’s annoying and disrupts their work. 
   
6. Create a “yes space.” They should be able to play with and touch mostly everything in their play area. 
   
7. Make play a part of their everyday routine. 
   
8. Buy the right toys. 
   

Now that you have the 8 steps to encourage independent play, we have come to our next question. 

Here is the criteria for open-ended toys: 

A good toy is one of the following: 

1. Grows with your child.
2. Sparks imagination and creativity.
3. Lets your child take the lead.
4. Isn’t loud, flashy, and does all the work.
5. Sturdy and durable.
6. Pretend play (doctors kits, tool kits, dress up clothes).

We want our kids to have to struggle and think a bit and that can be encouraged by the kinds of toys we buy. 

Which brings me to our next to last question…

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There you have it! 14 open-ended toys to promote independent play for little kids. 

But…

We are not finished yet. We still have one more question to ask. Are toys the only thing to use to promote independent play? 

​No! 

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That’s right. Everyday items found around the house work just as well for independent play and often don’t cost a cent. 

At first, you can model how you play with these items or give them some ideas if they are struggling. 

But really simply setting these items out and letting your kids figure out what to do with them is all you need to do. 

I’m going to list 14 of the best items and link some ways to use these items. 

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I included activities to do with cardboard boxes but, honestly, you can just set out the cardboard box with some markers and let our kids take the reins. 

My son can spend hours doodling all over a broken down box. 

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Again, I gave you some activities to do with your kids if that is something you like doing. 

But, all you NEED to do is set out these items and give your kids access to them. You DO NOT need to or should even show them how to play with these items every single time. 

Remember kids learn best through play when there isn’t an adult guiding them on what to do. 

To me that is a big sigh of relief. 

Happy playing 

For your kids, not you, Mama! You get a break :-) 

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“What’s the name of that Silician volcano again?”
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Silence.

“It’s E-something. Elba? Elna? Etta? No, not Etta. That’s Etta James, and she always shows up in these things. Think.” 

Silence.

“Ohhh, I know! It’s Etna. I got it...No thanks to you. You’ve been a lousy help.”
I stare down at my newborn baby peacefully sleeping in his little rocker nestled at the bottom of my feet. It’s early morning. Or maybe it’s late morning. Heck,  maybe it’s even the late afternoon.

Either way, I’m still in my pajamas perched on our kitchen table chair hunched over my classic breakfast of oatmeal, peanut butter, and banana with a crossword puzzle on the side. 

It had been a while since I had indulged myself in doing a morning crossword puzzle. In college, I would religiously do the puzzles in the paper every day. Friends would come and go into my apartment and every now and then stop to linger over one of my unfinished puzzles, helping me out. 

 A “sweep” is what I would call it when I would accomplish them all - crossword, sudoku, and all the rest. 

Then, I got pregnant. As someone who usually loves everything and is mostly happy, I really didn’t enjoy pregnancy. I spent most of my pregnancy never quite getting rid of that morning sickness which, for me, was all-day sickness and throwing up on occasion. It held on to the bitter end. 

A lot of my passions I stopped doing. Running, reading, writing, and even the crossword puzzle had been slowly fading from my daily routine. Its demise imminent.

Instead my days were spent lying on my bed for hours not moving or not sleeping. Just staring consumed with negative thoughts. I can’t be a mother. I don’t even know how to hold a baby. The nurses will surely take my baby away from me as soon as they see that. They will say I am unfit. They have never seen anyone as bad a mom as I am.  

And on top of my own negative thoughts was the unsolicited advice from the naysayers who love to tell pregnant moms “enjoy it while you can because once the baby comes you won’t have time anymore.” 

“Haha. Thanks.” I would reply back in mock humor and gratitude at their duplicitous attempt to be helpful. 

These interactions would usually lead me to go home and quite mellow dramatically throw a “ceremonial burning” of all my printed out crosswords and books as my husband watched in horror. 

“Well, Sally Stranger said I won’t have time for this anymore. In the trash you go. Goodbye crosswords. Nice knowing you.” 

Then, January 31, 2019 I gave birth to my son. I can’t quite describe the feeling I felt, but it was one of elation. Every single negative thought I had prior to his birth was swept away in a tidal wave of happiness. I knew the moment I held him that I was meant to be a mom. 

In the days that followed my new motherhood status, I also had another revelation. I was a mom now and true to all those strangers words my life had changed forever. They were right. I was, in fact, more tired and in those early days I got less sleep. 

But, in another way, they were wrong. I was still myself. Lauren. And all of my passions were still mine. I wanted my son to see me still nurturing and growing what I love to do. I wanted him to see that I didn’t just hand over everything that made me me in order to be his mom. I didn’t want to lose myself in the process. 
I didn’t want to give up reading, running, and my beloved morning crossword puzzles. 

So in the simplicity of maternity leave, where I didn’t have to worry about work emails, lesson plans, and grading papers, I broke out the crossword puzzle again. This time with a sidekick planted next to me. 

Yes, my eyes were a little tired, my brain a little foggy, and my recall a little slower, but I finished it. And I finished it the next day too. Each day, reclaiming a little bit of me that I thought I had lost in pregnancy. 

Two and half years later….

“Living room seating. Starts with ‘s’. Aha! Sofa.” 

“Sofa,” a little voice repeats back. 

“The next clue is fish eggs. Now, Henry, some advice. The answer is roe, and it is a very common answer in a crossword puzzle. Roe.” 

“Roe. roe. roe…” Henry mimics followed by fits of giggles. 

“Row, row, row your boat.” I sing back.

More laughter. 

A lot has changed in 2 and a half years. My son has grown. He is walking and talking and developing his own little, silly personality. 

We still do the crossword puzzle albeit not daily. It’s more reserved for the quiet, peaceful mornings of the weekend. He has become somewhat of a better partner in that time. Although his attention span is lacking. Dump Trucks and race cars are huge distractions and often are more fun than completing the last two-thirds of the puzzle. 

It’s okay though. I release him from his crossword duties to go play, and I stay in my chair to finish it on my own. Afterall, it’s my thing. Not his. He’ll discover his own thing soon enough, and I’ll be sure to nurture and encourage that. In the meantime, I make sure to fit in some time for me. 

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After a new mom has a baby, sometimes the baby becomes the center of attention and gets all the gifts. The mom can get forgotten. But if you are wondering how to fill up a new mom’s emotional registry, I have some of the best gifts for a new mom. 

An emotional registry is a list of gifts for moms who just had a baby that helps them meet their emotional needs and fill up their cup. 

These registry items can include gifts that provide self-care, attention, help, friendship, and a sense of identity to the new mom. 

I highly advise you to just give a gift to a new mom instead of asking if she needs anything. 

A lot of items on this list aren’t tangible and aren’t for the baby. 

In my opinion, the most thoughtful and best gifts to give a mom after she gives birth, are the ones that focus on making her feel like a person again and remind her that she isn’t alone in this thing called motherhood. She has a support time and she has a sense of identity that can be (if she wants) more than mom. 

​Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.  ​

HELPING GIFTS

1. Gift Cards to Restaurants

Cooking and eating aren’t a top priority for new parents. While feeding the baby never goes forgotten, a mom feeding herself often does. 

Giving birth, breastfeeding, caring for a newborn, and recovering are a lot of work, and a new mom needs fuel and energy to recover. 

Gift cards to restaurants are great because chances are she has enough freezer and home cooked meals sitting at home waiting to be eaten. That was the case in my situation. 

And while those meals were certainly welcomed and necessary, they can go bad after a while and eventually run out. 

Having restaurant gift cards can save new moms (and dads) when they are in a pinch and are too tired to cook or figure out a meal. 

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9. Babysitting

Offer babysitting services to a new mom. Whether she just needs an hour to run to Target unencumbered or wants to have a date night with her husband, babysitting services won’t go unneeded. 

Give her a coupon saying that you will babysit and then let her cash in for when she needs you. 

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SELF-CARE GIFTS

1. Spa Gift Cards

New moms deserve to be pampered after giving birth. Their bodies just spent over 9 months making a baby and then they had to go through labor and delivery. 

They need a massage. Or facial. Or both. Get them a spa gift card. 

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2. At Home Spa

Likewise, you can get new moms at home spa kits complete with nail polish, face masks, bath bombs, aromas, lotions, and foot scrubs. 
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They can pamper themselves whenever they want without ever having to leave the house. 

4. Baby Yoga Class

I did this with my son when he was a baby, and I loved it. It got me out of the house. It got me moving, breathing, relaxing, and connecting with other moms. 

Everyone had a baby who cried at some point, so there was no shame or judgment. 

This is a good self-care activity for a new mom after she gives birth. 

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FRIENDSHIP GIFTS

1. Sitting With Her

Motherhood can be terribly lonely in this day and age. We don’t live in such close proximity to family and friends as we used to. People are more isolated indoors. 

Just coming over to sit and chat with a new mother is a very low-stress, pressure free gift that is priceless. 

She will be thankful for the companionship and the adult conversation.

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2. Fair Play 

Fair Play is a book written by Eve Rodsky. The book also inspired a card game to play with your partner

Taken straight from Fair Play’s website: 

Tired of being the “she-fault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was . . . underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn’t enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it.

The result is Fair Play: a time-and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what’s important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.

Fair Play can help new moms find their unicorn space and divide the mental load with their partners, so they aren’t so burnt out. 

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These gifts will help a new mom after she gives birth fill up her emotional registry. 

Remember that these gifts can be spread out over a couple months instead of her getting flooded with gifts in the first two weeks and then she has to flounder alone the rest of her baby's first year. 

​New moms need love and support. 

If you’re an outdoor mom like myself, you might be wondering how to get your kids interested in the outdoors and how to raise outdoors-loving kids. 

Being out in nature and going on hikes are important to me. I wanted to instill that love for the outdoors in my kids - especially hiking in the mountains. 

Why? 
1.) The mountains are one of my favorite places to be. 
2.) Hiking is one of my favorite activities to do. 
3.) Being out in nature is healing and so good for cognitive development in both adults and kids. 

But you might be yelling at your computer screen as you read this, “Lauren, how do I go hiking with kids? It seems impossible.” 

Luckily, I got you covered with some tried and true parenting tips for hiking with kids that’ll leave your kids begging to get out into the mountains every weekend.

​Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.  

But first…

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Hiking with Kids Backpacks

If you’re looking to be equipped with the best gear on your hike, here are some Amazon’s best kids backpacks for hikes. 

*But full transparency - I usually just carry a drawstring backpack right from the closet* 

1. CamelBak Mini M.U.L.E. Kids Hydration Backpack, 50 oz
2. Vibrelli Hydration Pack & 2L Hydration Water Bladder - High Flow Bite Valve 
3. 10L Small Size Waterproof Kids Sport Backpack
4. Sinotron 22L Lightweight Packable Hiking Backpack
5. Sunhiker Small Cycling Hiking Backpack Water Resistant Travel Backpack Lightweight Daypack M0714

Hiking with Kids Carrier

Once kids reach 2 or older, I firmly believe that they should spend most of the hike - well hiking instead of being carried. But in case they get tired or you reach a dangerous spot, here are some of the best kids carriers from Amazon. 

1. Luvdbaby Premium Baby Backpack Carrier for Hiking with Kids
2. Freeloader Child Carrier with Seat & Stirrups
3. ClevrPlus Cross Country Baby Backpack
4. Piggyback Rider Scout Standing Child Toddler Carrier Backpack 
5. WIPHA Baby Backpack Carrier

Hiking with kids checklists 

Looking to know what to take when hiking with kids, here is my go to checklist of all the essentials I make sure I have when hiking. This is obviously an exhaustive list, and you definitely don’t need to take all of these things every time you go on a hike. 

 Ranked by priority. 

1. Water bottles 
2. Snacks (crackers, trail mix, granola bars, apple slices) - preferably something I can give a little bit at a time
3. Phone with camera
4. Preferably a trail map if we lose cell and internet service
5. Wipes and/or hand sanitizer
6. Sunscreen for hot, sunny days
7. Layers of clothing
8. Hat and sunglasses
9. Tissues
10. Trash or plastic bags
11. Extra pair of socks or shoes if going to get wet or muddy
12. Bandaids and other first aid supplies
13. Whistle for yelling for help
14. Important phone numbers and addresses
15. Swiss army knife
16. Binoculars 
17. Nature or trail book 
18. Paper, pencil, and baggies for documenting and collecting finds.

4 Useful Parenting Tips for Hiking With Kids in the Mountains:

Now that you have all the appropriate hiking with kids gear packed and ready to go, you might be wondering - “Okay, but how do I actually get them to hike?” 

Read on for four useful parenting tips when hiking with kids.

​

1. Give kids responsibilities 

​Kids like to feel important, especially younger ones. That's the reason why I suggest giving them a responsibility while hiking - something that makes them feel important.

I like to give my son the responsibility of staying on the trail. 

“Okay, your job is to make sure we are going the right way on the path. This is very important.” 

A lot of trails, especially in the mountains, have some type of marker to indicate you are going the right way. 

Maybe it is a colored shape (orange diamond, blue circle) fixated on the trees. It could be a sign with an arrow. It could be the rock formations called cairns (pronounced Care-in). It could be a log drilled into the ground to act as a step. 

Whatever it is you can tell your child to find the next one to make sure you are going the right way. Really play this up and praise your child for finding the next one every time. 

“Wow, you found it! I didn’t see it. Thanks to you we aren’t getting lost!” 

Other responsibilities can be

• Finding artifacts to collect on the hike
• Keeping track of the wildlife you saw
• Carrying one of the backpacks
• Doling out snacks and water
• Photographing your hike

Establish responsibilities at the beginning of the trip and take them seriously.

But obviously if your kids want to abandon ship and just leisurely hike, that is fine too! 

​

2. Have an incentive 

Over time, our goal is to have the hike be incentive enough, but at first, you might need to give your kids an incentive to keep them going. 

For example, recently we were doing a waterfall loop hike. There were three waterfalls on our hike. I told our son that once we got to a waterfall we would stop to have a cracker. 

After certain designated checkpoints or time frames, you can offer your child an incentive. Snacks, treats, stickers, or something fun.

Phrase the incentive as a first-then statement. 

“First, we reach the waterfall. Then, we will have a snack.” 

Adults need to reward themselves too when they exercise. Kids are the same, so offer incentives. 

​

3. Go at their pace

It’s important to remember to manage your expectations when going on a hike. Keep the hike relatively short and go at your child’s pace. 

Let your child stop to discover things, touch things, and point out things. All of those things are learning. 

They are learning about the world and how things work when they throw a rock or leaf into a stream. 

They are learning about the world when they try to balance on a log. 

They are learning about the world when they pick up sticks and walk with them. 

So go at their pace. 

​

4. Choose the right trail

When hiking with your kids, it is important to choose the right trail for them. Here are some of my criteria I consider when hiking with my son: 

1. How long is the trail? For me, it is important to keep it under 3 miles. 
2. Where is the trail? I prefer a trail in the mountains or woods as it won’t be as hot or sunny for my son. 
3. Is there water? Will we be hiking to or near water? My son likes a water feature. It keeps him more engaged, so I prefer a trail that has water. 
4. What is the elevation? Are there too many uphills and downhills? Both of those can be rough for my son. However, I like a trail that has some uphills and downhills as it provides an element of challenge that is good to teach my son about perseverance.  
5. Is it safe? Obviously, I have to keep this in mind when hiking. Is the trail too close to a ledge? Is there a chance of dangerous animals? Is the trail too deserted?

Once you have established your criteria, you can choose a trail that is just right for your kids. 

​

Wrapping Up

Now that you have these useful tips for hiking with your kids, you can now get outdoors and enjoy nature. Please comment below some of your favorite trails to hike with your kids. I’d love to hear all about them. 

​

For my Spring Break this year, I wanted to get out into nature.

For starters, nature is very healing. I love hiking. And I'm trying to get to all of the National Parks.

We were traveling with our 3-year old son, so I knew that we needed to find some kid-friendly activities to do with him outside. 

Starting from a young age, I made sure my son had lots of opportunities for outdoor play because it's so good for his cognitive development. 

I also wanted to instill a love for hiking, nature, and national parks in him. 

Living in Raleigh for 10 years and still never going to Great Smoky Mountains National Park, I knew that we had to go there. 

In my research, I found Bryson City - home of the Great Smoky Mountains Railroad (GSMR). Bingo. 

Bryson City was perfect. My son loves trains. The National Park was close by. And there were plenty of kid-friendly activities. 

After spending 3 days, 4 nights there I came up with 6 of the best outdoor activities to do with kids in Bryson City. 

1. Nantahala Brewing

I bet you are wondering how a brewing company is one of the best kid-friendly activities in Bryson City but hear me out. 

We arrived to our AirBNB on Sunday afternoon. After unpacking, we were in walking distance to this brewery located near downtown and right by the train tracks. 

We were pleasantly surprised to find out how kid-friendly this brewery was. 

We got a table outside, and our son was free to roam the gigantic green field at his own leisure.

There was a fence that prevented him from wandering off. We had an eye on him the whole time. And there were kid bikes and tricycles with which he could play. 

What's even better that on any given night, you will be sure to find other kids running around and playing. 

The food was delicious. The beer was refreshing. The atmosphere was perfect. The view was picturesque. And kids could play outside endlessly. 

​So that's why this is one of the best outdoor activities for kids in Bryson City. 

2. Deep Creek Waterfall Loop

Only about a 7 minute drive from Bryson City, the Deep Creek playground is located right inside of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. 

On a hot, summer day you can swim, tube, and fish in this area. 

But since we went in the early Spring, it was too cold for all of that, but we did enjoy the Waterfall Loop. 

The Waterfall Loop is about 2.2 miles and was just on the cusp on how long a 3-year old can hike.

But what is nice is that there are 3 waterfall destinations that we used as incentive for our son to keep going. 

The first waterfall we hiked to was Juney Whank Falls, and it was the steepest hike to get to, which I'm glad we did first. But, in my opinion, the prettiest.

The second one was Tom Branch Falls which was relatively flat to hike to. There was a steep-ish decline at one point in the hike. Our son enjoyed hiking crab style during this point. 

The last falls was Indian Creek Falls. And at this point, we decided to turn around instead of completing the entire loop (.3 miles shorter). 

Here are some ways that we get our son to hike: 

1. We give him a goal. (Find the diamonds that keep us on the trail)
2. We go at his pace and allow him to stop to discover things (throwing rocks in the water) because it's so good for his brain development. 
3. We take frequent breaks. 
4. He gets some sort of incentive for reaching certain destinations (a cracker when he arrives at each waterfall). 
5. We take multiple pictures, so we can look back and talk about our adventure. 

3. Downtown Bryson City

Downtown Bryson City is relatively small, but it's a quaint and good outdoor activity for kids to do. 

Just walking around and exploring the multiple shops and restaurants is enough for a kid to explore. *There are a lot of ice cream and dessert places*

Kids can wander onto the multiple trains and cabooses located throughout downtown. They can walk around Island Park or Riverfront Park which are both right by the Tuckasegee River - close enough for kids to play in the dirt, mud, and river. 

That's why I think downtown Bryson City is one of the best outdoor activities for kids. 

4. Great Smoky Mountain Railroad

The Great Smoky Mountain Railroad (GSMR) was the whole reason we came to Bryson City. My son LOVES trains!

So technically, you are inside of a train and not outside, but there are many aspects of the train that are outside. 

We boarded the train at 10 AM and left promptly at 10:30 PM from Bryson City. We opted for the prepackaged lunches which we picked up ahead of time. 

Our trip was the Nantahala Gorge Excursion. Some details about it: 

• 4 1/2 hour roundtrip
• The trip carries you 44 miles to the Nantahala Gorge.
• You get an hour layover at the Nantahala Gorge
• You can choose from three services: Crown Class, Coach Class, and Open Air Gondola

We did the Coach Class and could open the windows pretty wide, which made us feel like we were outside with the air and breeze whipping in our faces. 

We had views of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park - mountains, lakes, gorges, rivers, and rocks.

Our layover at the Nantahala Gorge was neat. We were right by the river and the rapids (Henry called them bunnies. Rapids=rabbits=bunnies in a toddler's mind). 

You can go white-water rafting and kayaking there. There was also a tree house adventure for kids and adults ages 3 and up. A lot of those things are closed until warmer weather. 

During the hour wait, Henry loved throwing rocks into the river while we sipped beers from the nearby restaurant. 

Overall, we left the train excursion with lots of memories and a souvenir picture (more like $35 lol). 

Also, getting back to Bryson City, we visited the train museum which had model train displays - so cool! Henry wanted to buy all the trains, but wow, they costs like $200+ a piece! 

I definitely recommend this adventure for kids. 

5. Clingmans Dome

The highest point in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Clingmans Dome is a .5 incline to the top. 

We drove an hour from Bryson City to the parking lot. Thank goodness for the Visitor's Store where we bought like $100 of warm clothes because we didn't realize the temperature would drop so much. 

Call me crazy, but we opted against the odds to push Henry up in the stroller. I had seen mixed reviews of people saying it was doable vs. not doable. 

I did it. It was hard. But I did it. I think it was manageable because I knew it was only .5 miles. 

We got to the top and the fog blocked most of the views, but it was still cool and a feat I'm glad I accomplished. 

Henry walked the way down which was good because it was so steep and a little slippery. 

We walked on part of the Appalachian Trail and did another short hike. 

This is such a good outdoor activity because of its access to multiple trails and challenge to the top.

6. The Road to Nowhere

The Road to Nowhere is literally that. Read about its history here. 

Located about 15 minutes from Bryson City in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park, we drove until we reached the tunnel - that's where the road ends. You can park in the nearby parking lot. 

We brought Henry's bike, and he had fun riding his bike through the tunnel until the road ended. You don't have to worry about any cars.

There are trails and hikes you can do in the area too. 

Plus overlooks of Fontana Lake. 

​I recommend bringing training bikes or tricyles if you have toddlers or preschoolers. It's a perfect place to practice riding. 

​Overall, Bryson City is a great place to bring kids to do outdoor activities and explore nature. I'm really glad we went. 

Taking my son to church is important to us as a family. We wanted him to be exposed to the mass from a young age. 

However….

It hasn’t been easy. 

My toddler, like most toddlers, is playful, full of energy, and unaware of the societal norms of sitting quietly for long periods of time while someone else talks. It was hard to get him to be quiet at church and learn to behave.  

We tried different quiet church activities such as toys, books, and snacks that we could drag out for as long as possible; however, these things would only last for roughly the first half of church. 

He would then convert to a restless, loud toddler who would demand to leave our seat, pew, or even the entire building. 

I didn’t want my toddler to build up a hatred each week for going to church, so I dug into my toolkit of positive parenting strategies and put them to use to see what works for parents who want their kids to behave at church.

What I found were three quick and easy parenting tips that can work with any parents who want their kids to be quiet at church (at least for most of the time).

​Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 

1. Prep

Kids, especially toddlers, like predictability and when they can know what to expect. Therefore, the more prep we can do ahead of time for church, the more likely our son is to know how to behave there.

Parents can prep by doing a number of things…

• They can read books about church. 
• They can mark on a calendar when church is and point it out regularly or even by doing a countdown. 
• They can talk about church consistently. 
• They can role play with stuffed animals and dolls about what to do at church. They can model appropriate and inappropriate behaviors, like how to be quiet a church, with the stuffed animals. 

2. Check marks 

Check marks on the hand are a big hit with kids. They feel proud of themselves when they get them. 

We divide the mass into 5 parts. If our toddler meets expectations, he gets a checkmark after each part. We talk about the check marks before and after church and compare them week to week. 

3. Gossip

Not all gossip is bad, especially when it comes to your kids'. After church you’re going to call some of your kids’ favorite characters (Trash Truck and Pete the Cat for my son), especially if they got 4-5 check marks, and “gossip” about your toddler at church. 

The key is to pretend that you don’t know your kid is listening and to be as dramatic as possible with your gossiping - dramatic whisper and trying to hide your face. 

“Pssttt….hey Trash Truck! I’m just calling to tell you about *son’s name.* He did so well at church. He prayed to Jesus. He listened to the priest. He shared his toys. He got 5 check marks. Can you believe that?”

Your little one will eat this up and want you to continue to have you gossip to his friends every week after church. 

​

1. Magnatiles 
2. Magnetic church 
3. Interactive church book 
4. Activity books
5. Whiteboard and markers
6. Sticker book
​7. Paint with water

Wrapping It Up
​We want our kids to have a positive experience going to church and to continue growing in their relationship with God. 

These easy parenting tips are just a few for parents to try to help their toddlers feel excited to go to church and be quiet.

Sign up to get my positive parenting checklists for free. 

Are you looking for Easter basket ideas other than stuffing it full of candy? 

Alternatives to Easter baskets are not always easy to find. The aisles are often covered in Easter candy and plastic eggs. 

Or you find elaborate Easter basket ideas all over Pinterest which look as if you need a home economics, marketing, and photography degree to pull off how nice these baskets look. 

And while I’m not against candy and pretty pictures that look good on Instagram (seriously, no hate, I’m impressed with moms who this is their thing), I’m a Lazy Mom who will probably wait until the last minute to throw something together.

I want easy ideas.

Since I’m a teacher who always wants to promote literacy for preschoolers, I’m probably going to add a book (along with some candy). 

Then, I thought why don’t I add an easy literacy activity to go into the Easter basket to promote preschool literacy even more. 

So viola, I have 5 easy Easter basket ideas for lazy moms to promote preschool literacy. 

Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.

5 Easy Easter Basket Ideas for Lazy Moms to Promote Preschool Literacy

#1 Pete the Cat Easter Basket

Pete the Cat is a fan favorite in our household. We love his vibe. 

“It’s all good.” 

Pete the Cat wouldn’t care about intricate, picture-perfect Easter baskets. He would like simple, feel-good Easter basket ideas and probably one of his books to go with it. 

So what can you add besides candy? 

1. One of Pete the Cat’s many books. My suggestion isPete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes 
2. Pete the Cat stuffed animal
3. 1-2 pairs of cheap white shoes
4. Water color paint

What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?

1. Read the book. 
2. Role play with Pete the Cat. 
3. Put different color paint on paper plates and have your child recreate Pete’s walk in his white shoes. 
4. Rinse and repeat

Will you preschooler cry over your lazy mom attempt to fill an Easter basket? 

Goodness no. They will just keep on playing. 

​

#2 Little Blue Truck Easter Basket 

Beep, Beep, Beep. Easter’s here. What can you fill your kid’s basket with that will bring them cheer? 

Little Blue Truck, course. Another favorite in our house. 

What are some easy alternatives to fill your preschooler’s Easter basket? 

1. Little Blue Truck's Springtime book
2. Plastic farm animals or a farm puzzle
3. Little blue trucks

What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?

1. Read the book. 
2. After reading the book, step outside into Little Blue Truck's world and recreate the drive he went on in the story. 
3. Have your little one hop into his own mode of transportation: the stroller, Cozy Coupe, Power Wheels, or a tricycle.
4. Or do make-believe with his own little blue truck. 
5. Along the way, Blue sees Sheep, Duck, Goat, Cow, Pig, Bunny, and Hen. You, too, will place stuffed animals or plastic toys of these animals throughout your yard or neighborhood. 
6. As you go on your stroll, stop to collect the animals and talk about what sounds they make. Have them hop into your car with you. 
7. Use this guide to check off what you have seen. 

Now you are in luck. Your kid will love his basket with Little Blue Truck. 

​

#3 Henry’s Hiccups Easter Basket

Give your child the gift of communication this Easter season by doing a Henry’s Hiccups Easter basket. 

​Henry loves school until he encounters a problem. He can’t get rid of his hiccups. 

He tries a number of ways to get rid of them, but no matter what he does, his hiccups keep getting in the way of correctly answering the teacher’s questions. 

That is until he discovers a new way of answering questions without speaking – sign language.

What are some of the best ideas for an Easter basket to promote literacy? 

1. A copy of Henry’s Hiccups
2. These cute, inclusive dolls representing some of the characters in the book.
3. A sign language resource guide
4. Sign language posters if you’re feeling extra

What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?

1. Read the story. 
2. Download this discussion guide for question prompts about the story.
3. Download these coloring sheets.
4. Watch the story in sign language. 
5. Get some language lesson plans. 
6. Teach your child some sign language!

Your little preschooler’s communication will be blooming in no time with this Easter basket idea. 

​

#4 Pout, Pout Fish Easter Basket

Deep in your basket
Where candy hangs out
Will now be a fantastic, funny treat
Your kids can read all about. 

Spice up your preschooler’s Easter basket with this easy idea. 
The Pout, Pout Fish. 

Kids love his gloominess and rhyming ways. And the book makes a great way to promote literacy.

What are some of the easiest ideas for an Easter basket to promote literacy? 

1. A copy of Pout, Pout Fish
2. Kinetic sand
3. Water beads
4. Bubbles
5. Plastic sea creatures
6. Sand toys

What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?

1. Read the story. 
2. Create an under the water sensory bin. 
3. Use a wet paintbrush to write words from the story. 

Your little one will be doing anything but pouting after she gets this Easter basket. 

​

#5 Piggie and Gerald Easter Basket

Piggie! Gerald! 

What better idea for an easy Easter basket than no other than a Piggie and Gerald themed book. 

Their books are so simple, yet they are so rich in literacy. 

That’s why they are beloved by all preschoolers. 

What are some of the ways to fill this Easter basket to promote literacy? 

1. A copy or collection of Piggie and Gerald books. 
2. Piggie and Gerald puppets

What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?

1. Read some of Piggie and Gerald's stories.
2. Piggie and Gerald books are all about dialogue, so have a puppet show with your preschooler! 
3. Teach your kids about different emotions, problem-solving, and hard situations with role-playing. 

Don’t forget the Pigeon with this basket! 

​

That’s a wrap. 

With these fun and easy Easter basket ideas, your preschoolers will have a blast reading and exploring new ways to engage with books. 

You, my lazy mom, will sit back and enjoy the fact that you didn’t spend hours and money crafting the perfect basket only for it to be destroyed in less than 5 seconds on Easter morning. 

And your little one’s teeth and your wallet will take you later at the next trip to the dentist! 

You are not alone. I know it’s a morbid thought. 

You just had a new baby. You are a new parent, and life seems to have begun all over for you again. Death is far from your mind. 

But then you’re told to prepare for your death just in case you die young. You read things that tell you to take critical steps before you die. Why??

I saw this quote once….

“Preparing for death is one of the most empowering things you can do. Thinking about death clarifies life.” -Candy Chang

And it is so true, especially as a new parent. 

My husband and I were forced to think about death and take action to prepare for an untimely death right after we became new parents. I had a brain aneurysm  and was undergoing surgery. 

Although the odds of my surviving the surgery were super high, we wanted to have a plan in place just in case. 

Because once you have a new baby and become a parent, you learn that your life is much more than being all about you. It’s about your children and what legacy you want to leave behind. 

Taking action as a new parent to prepare for your death will make it much easier for the  family you leave behind. In their grief, they will seek comfort in knowing the great lengths you went to in order to make sure they are safe, secure, and loved even in your death.
​
It’s all about making sure your family is okay without you. 

That’s why I have six critical steps you can do today before you die to leave an everlasting legacy to your kids. 

Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.

​

STEP #1: GET LIFE INSURANCE

If you didn’t already have life insurance before kids, now is an imperative time to get life insurance. 

Why parents should have life insurance before they die is an important question to ask. 

Sure, most of us imagine living a full life and amassing plenty of money to leave behind to our kids and husbands once we pass away. 

But, what about, God forbid, you die young and unexpectedly? 

In the absence of life insurance, the burden of bills, mortgages, education, and other day-to-day expenses now lies on the shoulders of a spouse or other family member. 

But with life insurance, the deceased parent’s life insurance policy will provide money to a beneficiary to help cover important financial costs for your kids. 

As a working mom providing an income to help support my family, my death would mean my family would stop getting a paycheck. Getting life insurance is a critical step I, as a new parent, can take before I die to make sure my family is set up for life…just in case. 

Think life insurance is only for working moms and dads? Think again. 

Stay-at-home moms and dads without a steady income are also providing crucial care and need to be covered in the event of an early death. 

If a stay-at-home mom (or dad) dies prematurely while her kids are still young, childcare and help around the will now need to be provided which costs money. 

Thus, having life insurance will help offset that cost. 

Look into life insurance today especially if you are a new parent. 

​

STEP #2: HAVE A WILL

If you are like me, you picture writing a will when you are old and ready to pass away like you see in all the TV shows and movies. 

But right before I was about to have my brain aneurysm surgery, we decided to get a will. 

Why? 

A will not only designates who gets your money and assets once you die, but it also notes who will watch over your kids if both parents die and who your medical power of attorney is. 

In my case, that was important. What if something went wrong with my surgery? I needed someone to make decisions for me in case I was incapable of doing so. 

As a new parent, get a will right away. It is such an important step to take before you die. 

Without one, in the event of your death, the courts will handle who will watch over your children and what to do with your money. And that could get messy. You don’t want that. 

Right now, my parents, since they are younger, will be guardians of our child with my husband’s parents as second in line.

An important thing to note, is to update your will frequently as people age, money and assets amass, and circumstances change.

​

STEP #3: PLAN YOUR FUNERAL AND LEAVE INSTRUCTIONS

This was hard for me to swallow. Plan my funeral as a young mom? What? 

But it is yet another critical step to take before I die. Why? 

Death, especially a tragic, unexpectant, or young death, leaves the family members left people full of grief, sorrow, and often unable to think clearly - let alone plan a detailed funeral to honor their loved ones . 

Leaving instructions behind will help ease this burden. 

So what I did was make a folder in my Google Drive that I shared with my husband. 

My goal for this year was to update this folder monthly with all kinds of death preparation.

In this folder, I started documenting what type of funeral I want. I’m Catholic, so I left the name and number of the church where I would like my mass to take place. 

I listed my favorite readings, hymns, and songs that I would like to be read and sung at my funeral. 

I listed people who I would like to read or speak at my funeral. 

I listed directives and questions to ask for planning a Catholic funeral.

I plan to leave a list of my favorite charities where I would love people to contribute in the event of my death.

I’ll even go as far to probably outline an obituary that I’ll update ever so often.

*I mainly did this because I love to write, and my husband won’t do my obituary justice 😂 (I swear I’m not a narcissist)*

I am doing this all to leave my parents, spouse, and child unencumbered with the difficult, minute details that go into death.

It’s something you can start today and contribute to a little each month. 

​

STEP #4: KEEP A LIST OF ASSETS AND DEBTS

In a safe or a Google Drive folder have a list of all your debts and assets before you die. 

Your debts can include

• Student Loans
• Car payments
• Mortgages 
• Credit bills

Your assets can include

• Your house
• Your car 
• Jewelry 
• Personal items
• Heirlooms 
• 529 Plans
• Trust Funds
• 401Ks

In your file, leave a list of instructions on who should handle your debts and assets (these can also be included in your will) and who will inherit these things (especially your assets). 

For example, I have a lot of journals, notebooks filled with writing, scrapbooks, and boxes of pictures that I don’t want to be thrown away. 

In my preparation for death, I would designate who would receive these assets. As a writer, I perhaps would  want some of my unpublished work to later be published posthumously; therefore, I would need to document in writing what these pieces are and who should handle them in the event of my death. 

Another thing to note is to keep a list of all the bills and how to handle them. My husband’s Fair Play card is the Money Manager. He handles all of our bills and payments, thank the Lord. Money is definitely his strong suit, not mine. 

If he were to die, I would be overwhelmed trying to figure that all out. Thankfully, he has prepared for his death by keeping a list of all of this important information for me. 

On the other hand, I handle more of the personal stuff like birthdays, holidays, and school. I can leave a list of important birthdays - whom to send a card or gift to - or whom to buy holiday gifts for. 

​

STEP #5: WRITE PERSONAL LETTERS

On the surface, writing personal letters before you die might not seem so critical, but, I dare to say, it is. 

As a writer and someone who loves to receive and give handwritten notes, I couldn’t imagine dying now and my son growing up without some type of sentiment I leave behind for him. 

That’s why I plan to write him a letter every five years, and if I happen to live until a ripe old age, he now has a letter from me at every age and stage of his life, which I imagine will be very special to him one day. 

Because I am extra, I also plan to write letters to my husband, parents, friends, and other important family and people in my life. In the event of my death, I will have someone distribute or share these letters. 

Though, perhaps, I won’t update those every five years. That kind of seems like a lot of work. 

Not one for writing? You can leave video messages behind, which would be just as special. 

​

STEP #6: KEEP A LIST OF LOGIN INFORMATION AND CONTACTS

Lastly, and this is important, before you die keep a list of all login information and important contacts in a safe place in which someone can access in the event of your death. 
I left behind my login information for all of my emails and social media accounts. 

If you handle the finances, keep a list of logins for all banks and financial apps. 

You can keep a list of contact information for people who handle your mortgage, insurance, taxes, car maintenance, finances, will, house repairs, etc. 

Death of a loved one is a stressful, sorrowful time, and the last thing I want is for a loved one frantically rummaging around trying to find all of this information during an already overwhelming period for them. 

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Death is scary to think about, but what is even scarier to think about is being unprepared for your death. 

To make it easier for me, I picked one of these things to build a folder for each month. Once I have made the foundation, I will continue to update it and add to it as I age and learn more. 

New parents’ taking these steps before they die is a loving gift they can give to their children. Preparing for death doesn’t have to be so scary and daunting if you follow this guide. 

Join the conversation below and contribute some of the ways you have already prepared for your own death. 

And share this post with any new parent you know. 

We can all be prepared together. 

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