5 Of The Best Unselfish Reasons Why Parents Should Have No Guilt About Scheduled Nap Times10/30/2022  To preface, I’m not advocating for sleep training or not sleep training. I think that is a decision entirely left to what works best for you and your family. This article is for those parents who perhaps did sleep train and abide by scheduled nap times and feel guilty about it. Or perhaps they are at the mercy of relatives offering unsolicited advice and critiques about why you feel the need to rush home, prolong family activities, and schedule events around your child’s nap times. As someone who is still adhering to my son’s scheduled nap times, I’ve sometimes had to justify why the hours from 1:30-3:30 are off-limits. I used to feel guilty, but now I no longer think twice when I say that we can’t because it’s my son’s nap time. To be fair, I try not to be rigid and if people can simply not change the time, or we have a really fun all day event, we will occasionally forgo my son’s nap. But 80-90% of the time, my son is getting his nap, and I don’t feel guilty or selfish about it at all. Here’s why.  #1 I Need A Break |
 | Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum. |
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ROUTINE:
Children like routines. This is for good reason! Routines have been found to:
- Lower stress
- Increase confidence
- And make them feel smarter.
REMAIN:
Remain loving but firm with boundaries. Kids become dysregulated when they feel like they are the ones calling the shots and controlling things. A confident mom will keep boundaries in check.
REASSURE:
Reassure your kids that ALL their feelings are valid, no matter how big they are. Reassure them they are safe and their feelings don’t scare you.
REFILL:
Refill your children’s attention cups with time-ins. Spend time each day with your kids for, at least a little bit of time, without any distractions.
REPAIR:
Repair when you made a mistake. Show your kids that you are human and that sometimes you yell and lose your temper. Show them that repairing is normal. Everyone messes up from time to time.
RESTORE:
Restore things back to order after your child has had a tantrum or hard times by teaching them strategies to use next time they have big feelings. I call these strategies greenlight strategies.
REST:
Take them to rest yourself. Good mothers know when to rest and know not to feel guilty about resting.
RECHARGE:
Good mothers recharge by going out with friends, exploring your passions, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space.
RESILIENCE:
Our children MUST learn how to be resilient in order to find success and overcome the obstacles they will face as a human. If we sweep in to save our children from every bit of difficulty, we actually do them a disservice. We send the message that when life gets tough, someone will always help you out of it and that failure is a scary and negative thing.
In reality, one of the best things we can do for our children is to allow them to struggle, as it provides the chance to reframe failure. Every hard moment or struggle is an opportunity to learn resilience!
In reality, one of the best things we can do for our children is to allow them to struggle, as it provides the chance to reframe failure. Every hard moment or struggle is an opportunity to learn resilience!
REDUCE:
Less is more has been my mantra in parenting lately.
There has long been the narrative that moms have to be tired, burnt out, and stressed, running around like a chicken with its head cut off (do people still use this idiom?). TV shows often depict a mom as being forgetful, clumsy, disoriented, and disheveled.
While motherhood is certainly hard, and there are days where we are surviving instead of thriving, the overall theme of motherhood doesn’t have to be this way.
Once we start to shift our mindset to less is more, we will start to see parenting to be more enjoyable. Reduce the number of toys, commitments, screen time, and clutter.
There has long been the narrative that moms have to be tired, burnt out, and stressed, running around like a chicken with its head cut off (do people still use this idiom?). TV shows often depict a mom as being forgetful, clumsy, disoriented, and disheveled.
While motherhood is certainly hard, and there are days where we are surviving instead of thriving, the overall theme of motherhood doesn’t have to be this way.
Once we start to shift our mindset to less is more, we will start to see parenting to be more enjoyable. Reduce the number of toys, commitments, screen time, and clutter.
READ:
Read to your kids. Reading builds knowledge.
RESEARCH:
Good moms do their research when it comes to parenting.
REFLECT:
Then, reflect. Not everything you see on social media and the internet is right for you and your kids. Reflect on whether what you learn is right for your family. Reflect on if what you are already doing is working. Reflect on whether you need a change.
RECORD:
RECALL:
Then, next time you encounter a hard parenting moment you can use your list to recall what works for your children. Good moms are constantly learning.
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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.
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