Are you looking for Easter basket ideas other than stuffing it full of candy?
Alternatives to Easter baskets are not always easy to find. The aisles are often covered in Easter candy and plastic eggs. Or you find elaborate Easter basket ideas all over Pinterest which look as if you need a home economics, marketing, and photography degree to pull off how nice these baskets look. And while I’m not against candy and pretty pictures that look good on Instagram (seriously, no hate, I’m impressed with moms who this is their thing), I’m a Lazy Mom who will probably wait until the last minute to throw something together. I want easy ideas. Since I’m a teacher who always wants to promote literacy for preschoolers, I’m probably going to add a book (along with some candy). Then, I thought why don’t I add an easy literacy activity to go into the Easter basket to promote preschool literacy even more. So viola, I have 5 easy Easter basket ideas for lazy moms to promote preschool literacy. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
5 Easy Easter Basket Ideas for Lazy Moms to Promote Preschool Literacy
#1 Pete the Cat Easter Basket
Pete the Cat is a fan favorite in our household. We love his vibe.
“It’s all good.” Pete the Cat wouldn’t care about intricate, picture-perfect Easter baskets. He would like simple, feel-good Easter basket ideas and probably one of his books to go with it. So what can you add besides candy?
What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?
Will you preschooler cry over your lazy mom attempt to fill an Easter basket? Goodness no. They will just keep on playing.  
#2 Little Blue Truck Easter Basket
Beep, Beep, Beep. Easter’s here. What can you fill your kid’s basket with that will bring them cheer?
Little Blue Truck, course. Another favorite in our house. What are some easy alternatives to fill your preschooler’s Easter basket? What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?
Now you are in luck. Your kid will love his basket with Little Blue Truck.  
#3 Henry’s Hiccups Easter Basket
Give your child the gift of communication this Easter season by doing a Henry’s Hiccups Easter basket.
Henry loves school until he encounters a problem. He can’t get rid of his hiccups. He tries a number of ways to get rid of them, but no matter what he does, his hiccups keep getting in the way of correctly answering the teacher’s questions. That is until he discovers a new way of answering questions without speaking – sign language. What are some of the best ideas for an Easter basket to promote literacy?
What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?
Your little preschooler’s communication will be blooming in no time with this Easter basket idea.  
#4 Pout, Pout Fish Easter Basket
Deep in your basket
Where candy hangs out Will now be a fantastic, funny treat Your kids can read all about. Spice up your preschooler’s Easter basket with this easy idea. The Pout, Pout Fish. Kids love his gloominess and rhyming ways. And the book makes a great way to promote literacy. What are some of the easiest ideas for an Easter basket to promote literacy? What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?
Your little one will be doing anything but pouting after she gets this Easter basket.  
#5 Piggie and Gerald Easter Basket
Piggie! Gerald!
What better idea for an easy Easter basket than no other than a Piggie and Gerald themed book. Their books are so simple, yet they are so rich in literacy. That’s why they are beloved by all preschoolers. What are some of the ways to fill this Easter basket to promote literacy? What can you do to promote literacy with your preschool child?
Don’t forget the Pigeon with this basket!  
That’s a wrap.
With these fun and easy Easter basket ideas, your preschoolers will have a blast reading and exploring new ways to engage with books. You, my lazy mom, will sit back and enjoy the fact that you didn’t spend hours and money crafting the perfect basket only for it to be destroyed in less than 5 seconds on Easter morning. And your little one’s teeth and your wallet will take you later at the next trip to the dentist!
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 Do you hate thinking about your death or leaving your family behind? You are not alone. I know it’s a morbid thought. You just had a new baby. You are a new parent, and life seems to have begun all over for you again. Death is far from your mind. But then you’re told to prepare for your death just in case you die young. You read things that tell you to take critical steps before you die. Why?? I saw this quote once…. “Preparing for death is one of the most empowering things you can do. Thinking about death clarifies life.” -Candy Chang And it is so true, especially as a new parent. My husband and I were forced to think about death and take action to prepare for an untimely death right after we became new parents. I had a brain aneurysm and was undergoing surgery. Although the odds of my surviving the surgery were super high, we wanted to have a plan in place just in case. Because once you have a new baby and become a parent, you learn that your life is much more than being all about you. It’s about your children and what legacy you want to leave behind. Taking action as a new parent to prepare for your death will make it much easier for the family you leave behind. In their grief, they will seek comfort in knowing the great lengths you went to in order to make sure they are safe, secure, and loved even in your death. It’s all about making sure your family is okay without you. That’s why I have six critical steps you can do today before you die to leave an everlasting legacy to your kids. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.  6 Critical Steps New Parents Can Take Before They Die  STEP #1: GET LIFE INSURANCE If you didn’t already have life insurance before kids, now is an imperative time to get life insurance. Why parents should have life insurance before they die is an important question to ask. Sure, most of us imagine living a full life and amassing plenty of money to leave behind to our kids and husbands once we pass away. But, what about, God forbid, you die young and unexpectedly? In the absence of life insurance, the burden of bills, mortgages, education, and other day-to-day expenses now lies on the shoulders of a spouse or other family member. But with life insurance, the deceased parent’s life insurance policy will provide money to a beneficiary to help cover important financial costs for your kids. As a working mom providing an income to help support my family, my death would mean my family would stop getting a paycheck. Getting life insurance is a critical step I, as a new parent, can take before I die to make sure my family is set up for life…just in case. Think life insurance is only for working moms and dads? Think again. Stay-at-home moms and dads without a steady income are also providing crucial care and need to be covered in the event of an early death. If a stay-at-home mom (or dad) dies prematurely while her kids are still young, childcare and help around the will now need to be provided which costs money. Thus, having life insurance will help offset that cost. Look into life insurance today especially if you are a new parent.  STEP #2: HAVE A WILL If you are like me, you picture writing a will when you are old and ready to pass away like you see in all the TV shows and movies. But right before I was about to have my brain aneurysm surgery, we decided to get a will. Why? A will not only designates who gets your money and assets once you die, but it also notes who will watch over your kids if both parents die and who your medical power of attorney is. In my case, that was important. What if something went wrong with my surgery? I needed someone to make decisions for me in case I was incapable of doing so. As a new parent, get a will right away. It is such an important step to take before you die. Without one, in the event of your death, the courts will handle who will watch over your children and what to do with your money. And that could get messy. You don’t want that. Right now, my parents, since they are younger, will be guardians of our child with my husband’s parents as second in line. An important thing to note, is to update your will frequently as people age, money and assets amass, and circumstances change.  STEP #3: PLAN YOUR FUNERAL AND LEAVE INSTRUCTIONS This was hard for me to swallow. Plan my funeral as a young mom? What? But it is yet another critical step to take before I die. Why? Death, especially a tragic, unexpectant, or young death, leaves the family members left people full of grief, sorrow, and often unable to think clearly - let alone plan a detailed funeral to honor their loved ones . Leaving instructions behind will help ease this burden. So what I did was make a folder in my Google Drive that I shared with my husband. My goal for this year was to update this folder monthly with all kinds of death preparation. In this folder, I started documenting what type of funeral I want. I’m Catholic, so I left the name and number of the church where I would like my mass to take place. I listed my favorite readings, hymns, and songs that I would like to be read and sung at my funeral. I listed people who I would like to read or speak at my funeral. I listed directives and questions to ask for planning a Catholic funeral. I plan to leave a list of my favorite charities where I would love people to contribute in the event of my death. I’ll even go as far to probably outline an obituary that I’ll update ever so often. *I mainly did this because I love to write, and my husband won’t do my obituary justice 😂 (I swear I’m not a narcissist)* I am doing this all to leave my parents, spouse, and child unencumbered with the difficult, minute details that go into death. It’s something you can start today and contribute to a little each month.  STEP #4: KEEP A LIST OF ASSETS AND DEBTS In a safe or a Google Drive folder have a list of all your debts and assets before you die. Your debts can include
Your assets can include
In your file, leave a list of instructions on who should handle your debts and assets (these can also be included in your will) and who will inherit these things (especially your assets). For example, I have a lot of journals, notebooks filled with writing, scrapbooks, and boxes of pictures that I don’t want to be thrown away. In my preparation for death, I would designate who would receive these assets. As a writer, I perhaps would want some of my unpublished work to later be published posthumously; therefore, I would need to document in writing what these pieces are and who should handle them in the event of my death. Another thing to note is to keep a list of all the bills and how to handle them. My husband’s Fair Play card is the Money Manager. He handles all of our bills and payments, thank the Lord. Money is definitely his strong suit, not mine. If he were to die, I would be overwhelmed trying to figure that all out. Thankfully, he has prepared for his death by keeping a list of all of this important information for me. On the other hand, I handle more of the personal stuff like birthdays, holidays, and school. I can leave a list of important birthdays - whom to send a card or gift to - or whom to buy holiday gifts for.  STEP #5: WRITE PERSONAL LETTERS On the surface, writing personal letters before you die might not seem so critical, but, I dare to say, it is. As a writer and someone who loves to receive and give handwritten notes, I couldn’t imagine dying now and my son growing up without some type of sentiment I leave behind for him. That’s why I plan to write him a letter every five years, and if I happen to live until a ripe old age, he now has a letter from me at every age and stage of his life, which I imagine will be very special to him one day. Because I am extra, I also plan to write letters to my husband, parents, friends, and other important family and people in my life. In the event of my death, I will have someone distribute or share these letters. Though, perhaps, I won’t update those every five years. That kind of seems like a lot of work. Not one for writing? You can leave video messages behind, which would be just as special.  STEP #6: KEEP A LIST OF LOGIN INFORMATION AND CONTACTS Lastly, and this is important, before you die keep a list of all login information and important contacts in a safe place in which someone can access in the event of your death. I left behind my login information for all of my emails and social media accounts. If you handle the finances, keep a list of logins for all banks and financial apps. You can keep a list of contact information for people who handle your mortgage, insurance, taxes, car maintenance, finances, will, house repairs, etc. Death of a loved one is a stressful, sorrowful time, and the last thing I want is for a loved one frantically rummaging around trying to find all of this information during an already overwhelming period for them. Death is scary to think about, but what is even scarier to think about is being unprepared for your death. To make it easier for me, I picked one of these things to build a folder for each month. Once I have made the foundation, I will continue to update it and add to it as I age and learn more. New parents’ taking these steps before they die is a loving gift they can give to their children. Preparing for death doesn’t have to be so scary and daunting if you follow this guide. Join the conversation below and contribute some of the ways you have already prepared for your own death. And share this post with any new parent you know. We can all be prepared together.
 The statistics are not great. 1 in 5 women experience completed or attempted rape. 81% of women and 43% of men experience some form of sexual harassment in their lifetime. And that is what is reported. With that information, self-defense should be a required teaching component in all high schools throughout America, but sadly it is not. While I am not an expert and neither am I trained in self-defense, I gathered some of the best self-defense/safety tips that I have learned over the years and researched myself and brought them to a group of students in my freshmen Homeroom class. They were captivated and engaged throughout the whole 30 minute lesson. Phones barely came out. While I am aware that every school can’t hire a licensed professional to teach a course on self-defense (though they should), these 15 tips can be life-saving, and teenagers, especially young girls need to learn these personal safety tips today.  Rideshare Safety 1. Always ask the driver who he/she is here for. Before you even enter a rideshare, such as an Uber or Lyft, always ask the driver who he/she is here for instead of asking, “Are you here for (your name)?” Why? To minimize the chance of getting in the wrong car, especially at busy areas where a lot of rideshares are driving around picking up people, you want the driver to have to look at his phone to double check who he/she is here for. If you just say, “Are you here for (your name)?” the driver can merely say, “yes,” without confirming. Unfortunately, there have been reported incidents of fake Uber or Lyft drivers preying on innocent people. These drivers pose as a rideshare service but are only doing it to scam you of money or worse. That is why you always need to (1) confirm the make and model of the car from the app with the car that shows up in person, (2) Ask them who they are picking up, and (3) Ask them for their name. 2. Screenshot the driver’s information and share with a loved one. Before or once the driver has picked you up, share the details of your trip with someone you love right away. Send them the make and model of the car, the name of your driver, where they picked you up, where you are going, and how long the ride should last. Once you have safely reached your destination, reach out to your loved one to confirm that you arrived. At the start of the trip, you should have established with your loved one that if you don’t text to confirm you have made it within x number of minutes, your loved one should attempt to get in touch with you. If they cannot, instruct them to call the police. This tip is especially important if you are riding alone. 3. Use your home address with caution. Should you use your home address or not when getting in a rideshare? I’ve seen this debated on online forums before. While I always use my home address now, I also live with my husband with a home security system. After high school, these teenagers might live alone or in an all-female house. To protect the safety of its customers, Uber makes it easy to enter a street nearby without having to enter your exact home address. I advised my students to follow this safety procedure especially if they live alone or with only females. 4. Sit in the back seat. Uber lists this as a safety tip on their website, and I agree. Not only does it give you some personal space from the driver, but you can also choose which way to exit if having to be dropped off on a busy street. Even still, if faced with a dangerous situation, such as an erratic or threatening driver, they have less access to grabbing you or stopping you from escaping if you sit in the backseat. With more and more people using rideshares, especially teenagers who cannot drive yet, these safety tips for rideshare need to be taught at an early age.  Everyday Routines 5. Shift Your Awareness. Survivor and founder of a program called Kids S.A.F.E, a self-defense class, Robyn Warner shares that there are different levels of awareness. Most of the time we spend our life in neutral, but Robyn says there are times when we need to upshift our awareness, especially for women, in situations that leave us more vulnerable: at the ATM, pumping gas at night, taking the garbage out at dusk, and going on runs. She then advises us to go back to neutral, so we don’t live our lives paranoid. That means we need to rethink our everyday routines and change some things about them in order for us to be prepared and safe. I cautioned my students to not do the same thing at the same time every day, especially if they were doing that thing alone. That could look like not always running on the same trail at the same time every day to avoid potential stalkers knowing your routine. It’s also important to share your location if you plan on running alone and how long you expect to be gone. 6. Carry an emergency kit. When going out, have an emergency kit readily available to tuck into your purse or pocket. That includes all or one of the following: mace, pepper spray, pocket knife, flashlight, or rape whistle. That way if you are ever attacked, you are prepared. Practice carrying these things around and taking them wherever you go. Get into the habit of remembering these things. Do not just brush it off if you forget them. “Oh, I won’t need it.” No, go back and get it until it becomes second nature. 7. Ask for an escort. If you feel unsafe walking back to your car from the mall or back to your apartment from a party, don’t feel embarrassed to ask for an escort. The escort could be as simple as insisting a friend walk back with you or asking security to walk you out. And if you are in a situation where neither of those options are available, call the cops or 911. Trust your instincts. It’s always better to be safe, not sorry. 8. Lock the doors as soon as you get in the car. Oftentimes when we get into the car, we get distracted by looking at our phone, pulling up GPS or finding a podcast that our level of awareness goes way down. I cautioned my students to get into their cars and immediately lock the doors before doing anything else. That way if they need to be idle before pulling away, someone can’t easily enter their car without casting suspicion first. I warned that this is especially important when they are traveling alone, it’s nighttime, and they are in a deserted area. 9. Check under the car and in the backseat. I told my students to check under the car and the backseat at night. That’s why it would be beneficial to carry a flashlight in order to do a quick scan to make sure no one is there or anything is remiss (i.e. flat tire). 10. Use caution with suspicious people. When you are alone, especially when it’s dark outside, be wary of suspicious people hanging around your car or your path home. This is when Robyn says to really upshift your awareness and be on high alert. She says this is the time when you do not want to present yourself as an easy opportunity, meaning don’t be looking down at your phone or slumping your shoulders. Walk with your shoulders back and look people in the eyes. It also helps to talk directly to the suspicious person “You are making me uncomfortable,” or about the suspicious person on the phone, “There’s this guy hanging out by my car. He has on blue jeans and a white shirt. He’s about 6’2 with brown hair and a beard.” I also told my students about a time I took a self-defense course, and the instructor told us to act crazy. She said to talk to yourself in different voices and mumble nonsense. I told my students to practice this, so if/when the moment arises, they are prepared. The instructor told us that an attacker wants a vulnerable, easy victim, not an erratic, unstable person.  In an attack 11. Yell out information. While teaching her courses, Robyn always asks her participants what they would do in the event of an attack. She says all of them usually say that they would scream or make some noise. While Robyn says that is good, she preaches that we need to yell out actual information. “Lauren Barrett, and I am getting attacked by a man. He is trying to assault me. Walnut Creek Greenway.” Repeat over and over. People scream. Kids can scream when they play. A parent can scream at her children. So the likelihood of a scream going ignored is higher than if we yell out information of what is happening to us. Robyn says that this isn’t always easy in the moment, so we need to start practicing, especially at an early age. 12. Try to get your phone to dial 911. In addition to yelling, call out to your phone to dial 911 (“Hey Siri, dial 911.”). And yell the same information about the location of your attack, what your attacker looks like, and what is happening over and over in the hopes that 911 picks it up. When Robyn was attacked, she had dialed 911 right before her attacker got to her because she was already highly suspicious of the man. And that is likely one of the reasons she survived. 13. Stay at the scene. When being attacked, it’s best to try to stay at the scene of the attack or as near as possible. You don’t want your attacker to take you someplace else, especially since you yelled out your location over and over. Someone could have heard you and is sending help or you were able to dial 911. 14. Scream in the attacker's face and talk to the attacker. Another thing that I learned in the self-defense class I took is that when your attacker grabs you, instead of trying to turn and pull away, which only strengthens his grip on you, you want to lean in, do a self-defense move, and scream in his face (think Mufasa’s roar in the Lion King instead of a little kid’s terrified shriek). Then, Robyn says to talk to your attacker. “What’s your name?” “Where do you live?” “Why are you doing this?” Robyn says this makes you feel more human in your attacker’s eyes. She said that when she did this with her attacker, he would stop and pause, and in that time, she was able to take a breather and readjust her clothes. 15. Learn self-defense moves. I recommended to the students in my class to take a self-defense class to learn the proper moves for escaping or fighting back against an attacker. I really think all teenagers should learn in high school if not earlier and continue to refresh their skills every few years. In her class, Robyn teaches to go for the breeder or the breather. That is the face (eyes, nose, mouth, esophagus) and the groin. People can work out their arm and leg areas to make them stronger and no match for you, but everyone’s eyes, nose, mouth, esophagus, and groin are on the same playing field. She warns that you have to fight back and those are the critical areas to target to incapacitate your perpetrator.  The bell rang for the day of our session, and I could tell my students wanted to learn more. Some even questioned why this wasn’t taught in health/PE. Even if it isn’t officially a required course, these 15 tips can be reviewed by parents and teachers in the hopes of preventing an attack or saving a life one day. As Robyn’s motto goes, “prepared not scared,” we want our young adults to grow up with the knowledge that they are capable of fighting back against the evil of this world and the independence to take care of themselves. You can follow her on Instagram @aflyonmywall for more weekly advice on all things self-defense and safety.
I have written a post about why parents should try to greenlight desired behaviors in their kids.
That is the best way. Hands down. Greenlighting will promote positive relationships between your child and you. You won’t yell as much. Your child will have more confidence. And you will have an overall happier home. However, bad behaviors in your toddlers will arise from time to time. First, I want to say that that’s natural and not a reflection of what kind of parent you are. These bad behaviors might look like excessive whining, throwing, kicking, hitting, or breaking a coveted family rule. Dr. Harvey Karp calls these unwanted behaviors yellow and red light behaviors. And while we wanted to handle bad behavior generously and without hitting in order to avoid excessive yelling and power struggles, there is a time and place where we need to break out consequences and not allow the tantrum to ride its course (Think - hitting, biting, kicking, throwing). That time and place is usually yellow and red light behavior. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
10 Proven Ways to Discipline Your Toddler's Bad Behavior Without Spanking
In today’s blog post, I have 10 proven ways for parents to discipline their toddlers in an efficient way and by breaking generational cycles of spanking. 
What Are Yellow Light Behaviors?
Yellow light behaviors are those unwanted behaviors our kids display that aren’t dangerous or putting anyone in harm’s way but, for lack of a better word, are annoying. They pop up during unwelcomed times like during a trip to the store, the middle of church, a work call, or a conversation with another adult. They happen when you are tired or stressed. They are annoying and require some type of response. Yellow light behaviors can include
How to Respond to Yellow Light Behaviors?
#1 Use Toddler-Ese Toddler-ese is the language of your toddlers. It’s short, repetitive phrases with a little bit of mirroring to match your toddler’s emotions. Dr. Karp says, “You will be able to prevent up to 90% of tantrums before they even happen and you’ll settle more than 50% of the meltdowns that do occur…in seconds!” Dr. Karp has a great blog on how to use toddler-ese. As parents, when we get angry, we tend to use long, complicated sentences in a deep, authoritative voice. But to your toddler, that is like speaking a foreign language which causes them to get even more upset because they don’t understand you. But when you use toddler-ese to curb unwanted behaviors, you are connecting with respect, validating the feelings, and speaking in a way that your toddlers will know you want them to stop. #2 Offer a win-win compromise The goal of curbing the undesired yellow light behavior is to leave the situation with love and respect. No yelling or power struggles. When your child is whining, pouting, and trying to negotiate, use the win-win compromise approach. The idea of it is to give your child a win that you don’t mind compromising on. For example, your son is pouting about eating the food in front of him. He wants something else.
Usually this will work, but if it doesn’t, allow your son to leave the table but without the wanted food. Still a win-win. Let me offer another example. You are trying to get work done, but your daughter is begging you to play with her. Try this….
If you have no time to play at all, over a win-win by penciling in or scheduling in a timer when you can play on your phone or calendar. Color code it green, so she knows that she has the go-ahead to play with you. Using a win-win compromise is a proven response to work when dealing with unwanted behaviors. #3 Clap-growl Sometimes, your kid’s unwanted behavior needs to be stopped immediately. For example, you’re having an important conversation with an adult, but your kid is pulling on your pants whining. Enter in the clap-growl. Another Dr. Karp technique. To get their immediate attention, clap loudly two-three times while growling and saying “Stop. Now.” I like to add in the sign language for Knock It Off. In times of frustration and distress, kids respond better to nonverbal cues rather than words. Therefore, the clap-growl works. #4 Kindly ignore Sometimes, your kid’s incessant annoying behavior needs to be kindly ignored. *Don’t use this if your child is scared, very sad, or hurt.* When you use kindly ignoring, first acknowledge your kid’s feelings and broadcast back his emotions. If the fussing or whining continues, reassure that you love your child, but you are busy and will be right back. Walk away and preoccupy yourself while kindly ignoring your child. If the whining stops, return, echo his feelings, and provide some sort of positive feedback like a hug or praise or time-in. If the whining persists, return and repeat the first steps. Then, walk away for a longer time period. If it still persists, you have now entered a red-light misbehavior which you’ll learn about later on in this blog. #5 Whisper A mistake that parents often make is that they think they need to be louder than their child to calm loud behavior, but the opposite actually works. When we whisper, your child starts to pay attention and think that what you are about to say is very important. They are more likely to listen. When my son is engaging in yellow-light behavior, I get down on his level and call him over in a whisper voice. I then proceed to dramatically and calmly whisper. “Hey, guess what. I have something to tell you. You are mad, mad, mad. You want to play outside. But I have to get dinner ready first. Do you think you can play inside with your toys while I do this? I think you can. That’s why I’m whispering because I think you are the only one who can.” Whispering works well to curb yellow-light behavior. 
What Are Red Light Behaviors?
Red light behaviors go beyond those annoying behaviors that drive us crazy. And while I believe that there are no bad kids - being a toddler is tough - red light behaviors are bad and need to be stopped immediately! Red light behaviors can include
How to Respond to Red Light Behaviors?
# 6 Time out Time-outs can get a bad rep, but we are probably imagining the punitive way of time-outs of the past. I.e. Locking our kids in their rooms for long periods of time or making them sit in the corner with their noses to the wall. But when done right, in the positive parenting sense, they can be quite effective according to research. Steps to giving a time-out:
#7 Give a fine What happens when you speed repeatedly? You get a fine from the police. The same thing can happen to your toddler when he repeatedly does a bad behavior that you told them to stop. He’ll get a fine. But in the toddler sense, instead of asking them to pay money, we are going to take away something they like. I use giving a fine when my toddler throws or hits. I’ll take away the toy he threw and essentially put it in time-out until he has settled down and is ready to play nicely again. Dr. Aliza of Raising Good Humans does caution in her podcast to NOT take away something that isn’t connected to the throwing. For example, if your toddler threw his toy car, don’t take away his favorite stuffed animal. A key takeaway to remember is that the fine should connect the punishment to the bad behavior. If your toddler hits you, remove yourself from playing with him for a bit. That’s a fine. If your toddler throws a toy, remove that toy. That’s a fine. If your toddler sneaks TV time without your permission, take away TV time. That’s a fine. Once the toy or object is removed, validate to your toddler their feelings. “I know, You want the toy. You want it bad. Bad. Bad. But I said No, No, No throwing. And you didn’t listen. So bye-bye toy.” When your toddler starts to listen, praise him for listening and reinforce with greenlight strategies. #8 Get down on their level When we discipline our toddler’s bad behavior, it’s easy to want to hover them and present ourselves as big and scary. And to our toddler that is exactly what they say - big and scary Mommy and Daddy. But that further dysregulates their already emotional brain. So a proven way to discipline their red light behavior is to get down on their level and gently tell them that they need to stop right now. If the bad behavior consists, move on to a time-out or give a fine. #9 Speak in a deep voice Dealing with a red light behavior that needs to stop now? Maybe you already gave a warning to your daughter for her to stop throwing her toys? But she isn’t listening. Use a deep voice to get the bad behavior to end immediately. Then, get down on your toddler’s level to explain why they can’t throw, validate their feelings, and use toddler-ese. The unwanted behavior still persisting? Move on to a time-out or give a fine. #10 Guide their hands When our toddlers are having trouble with hitting, throwing, and other acts of aggression sometimes they need help with what to do with their hands instead of those violent actions. In one of my favorite ways to calm a tantrum, I like to guide my son’s hands with magic breaths. In child psychologists Cara Goodwin’s book, What To Do When You Feel Like Hitting, she goes over strategies on ways toddlers can use their hands in a more productive way when they feel like hitting. She suggests hugging yourself, squeezing your fists into balls, using sign language to express feelings, or maybe pounding a ball of playdoh. Sometimes guiding your toddlers hands is all it takes to help them release anger in positive ways.
Wrapping Up
With these proven ways to discipline your toddler’s bad behavior there is no need to ever spank your child. These 10 ways will help you discipline your kids in a positive way that builds mindful relationships and fosters love between parents and children. Interested in my parenting checklists for life’s hard moments? Snag yours below.
Introduction
My husband and I had a great day with our three-year old son. We played outside, went to the park, and enjoyed a nice dinner out at a restaurant. My son was playful, funny, and respectful. He listened, shared, and engaged in conversation. We had praised him and thanked him for a great day. But… Then, just before bed, he started climbing all over our coffee table and knocking things down. Not that big of a deal…yet. However, he made his way over to a glass vase. He started moving it dangerously close to the edge. We politely asked him to stop a few times, but he ever so slowly continued to scoot it to the edge of the table. This time we responded in sterner voices and warned him against knocking it over. He paused, looked us dead in the eyes, and in one swift motion flung his hand and knocked over the vase. The vase, luckily, didn’t break, but bits of pieces from the faux grass in the vase went everywhere. While we were cleaning it up, he ran to the bathroom, peed in the toilet, and then dumped water and pee all over the floor. We were, of course, livid. That is a normal feeling to a kid's bad behavior. However, at this moment I, as a parent, had a choice on how to respond to my kid’s bad behavior. Would I make one of the 4 mistakes other parents usually make when responding to their kids' bad behavior? Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
4 Mistakes Most Parents Make When Responding To Their Kids Bad Behavior
In today’s blog post, I have 4 tips for parents that will help them respond to their kid’s bad behavior in a more generous way. *These mistakes and fixes can also apply to teachers and students*
Mistake #1: Thinking Their Kids are Bad
After Henry knocked over the vase and spilled water and pee on the floor, it would have been natural and easy for me to say something like this… “Why are you being so bad?” Or “You are being very bad right now. Stop it.” (Insert the words rude, lazy, mean, evil in other situations of bad behavior) Kids’ behavior can be bad. Kids aren’t bad. It’s easy to confuse the two. Here are a few things to remember before you start labeling your kids as bad to them directly:
It’s very tempting to believe that when your kids start exhibiting bad behavior that they are bad kids, and you question why they are like that and where did you go wrong. As parents, we sometimes make the mistake of saying this aloud to them right after their bad behavior. But don’t. Here’s what to do instead… Fix #1: Assume the Most Generous Interpretation Assuming the most generous interpretation is exactly like what it sounds. We, as parents, give ourselves a generous reason for why our kids are participating in bad behavior. For my son, at that moment, I assumed it was because he was tired and wanted to get our attention that he wanted to go to bed (Spoiler alert - that was the reason). I first heard of Most Generous Interpretation from Dr. Becky from Good Inside. As a clinical psychologist and mom to three, she says that applying the Most Generous Interpretation speaks to what is going on in the inside rather than the outside, it helps dysregulated kids feel better about themselves, kids respond in the same manner to how we respond to them (i.e. “You always misbehave” equates to your kid continuing to misbehave). Here are things to say when we apply the Most Generous Interpretation:
Applying the Most Generous Interpretation, doesn’t mean that there are never consequences for your kids, especially those yellow/red light behaviors. It just means that you recognize that your kids make mistakes and that they are capable of change and being better. Use these strategies to greenlight positive behaviors in your kids. 
Mistake #2: Getting Into Power Struggles
No one is going to win in a power struggle. Even if you technically “win,” it’s more than likely going to come at the expense of both losing your tempers and a lot of time wasted arguing back and forth. Let’s go back to my example with my son knocking over the vase and spilling water and pee. I could have demanded that he clean everything up until I was red in the face to teach him a lesson. But he more than likely would have said “NO!” each and every time. Tempers would’ve flared, and we would have been at a standstill for a long time. And in the end, we would have probably cleaned it up anyway. Why? Because remember the Most Generous Interpretation? The root of the bad behavior was because my son was tired. He wanted to go to bed NOW. Yelling back and forth and asserting your authority isn’t going to work. But, obviously, our kids shouldn’t always get away with bad behavior. So what to do instead… Fix #2: Establish and Hold Boundaries, Offer Choices, Provide Consequences The first thing to do when our kids initiate a power struggle is to hold our boundaries that we have already established. *Side Note* Family rules should be talked about often and consistently. Then, you can offer choices. “Okay, I see you’re upset and tired right now. You can either go to bed right now, but we aren’t reading any books (or playing quietly with your trucks) or you can clean this up, and we can read one book.” Whatever your choices are make sure you, as parent, are ok with either choice and that the choices logically make sense for your kid for what is happening in that moment. Lastly, sometimes consequences - either natural or manufactured - are necessary. Your child consistently knocks over the vase you told him not to knock over? Time out. Your child keeps throwing the same toy over and over even though you said not to? Take the toy away. Your child won’t eat the food and choices you provided for her at dinner? She doesn’t eat dinner and might be hungry. So instead of arguing and giving multiple warnings, state the boundary, choice, or consequence one to two times and then follow through. No more power struggles with this 3-step process. 
Mistake #3: Not Being Calm When Responding
A mistake parents often make when responding to their kids' bad behavior, is looking at their kids first before looking at themselves. Kids’ bad behavior is very triggering, so our initial gut reaction is to be upset too. We might start yelling, name calling, or even crying as a reaction to our kids’ bad behavior. And guess what? More than likely our kids will mirror what we are doing. Which is exactly what we don’t won’t. And the more upset they get, the angrier we will become. And the cycle continues. So what to do instead? Fix #3: Calm Yourself First As I mentioned, kids mirror your reaction. So if they mirror parents when the parent is upset, the inverse is true. Parents’ calming responses will, you guess it, calm your child. First, calming myself might look like this… I close my eyes, take 5 deep breaths, and repeat this mantra: "Tantrums are normal. Tantrums are a healthy release. They aren't a reflection of my parenting. I am a good mom." Instead of saying something like…. “Did you not hear me? I said that it’s time to go to bed. I’m not going to tell you again. Why don’t you listen to me? Get upstairs right NOW!” I *TRY* to then go to a place of empathy first. “I know it’s hard to listen when you’re so tired. You really want more TV, but it’s time to go to bed to get some rest. I know. That’s not fun and not what you want to do. But, maybe we can make bedtime more fun by reading a book first.” Our kids will feel better that their feelings are at least heard and that their parents are not angry with them. Calming yourself first takes practice, so have patience with yourself. 
Mistake #4: Taking It Personally
When your kids behave badly, it often isn’t a personal attack against you. It’s not because they want to hurt you or don’t like you. But, often parents take it as a personal affront. When parents take things personally, they can overreact, say hurtful, regretful things, and either dole out severe punishments or even no punishment at all. A mature sense of empathy doesn’t develop until much older, so kids aren’t out to get their parents. They are more than likely solely focused on what they want. So, how do we not take our kids’ bad behavior so personally? Fix #4: Focus on Behavior When your kid is acting out, remember it isn’t about you and your feelings. It’s about changing the behavior you don’t like You can always say that you didn’t like what they did. “When you knocked the vase over, I didn’t like that.” But then go back to the behavior… “You were feeling angry. It’s okay to feel angry. But we need to find a better way to act when you are angry. Because you can’t knock over vases.” Try to problem solve what your kid can do instead when they are angry. “Next time, when you are feeling angry, you can hug yourself instead or ball your hands into fists.” You can even problem-solve over consequences if it happens again. “If you do that again, we will have to have some consequences. You’ll have to go to time-out.” Shifting away from your feelings to the behavior will help your kids have a clear solution to what needs to be changed. And as always, try to apply the Most Generous Interpretation because we never really know what someone is going through.
Wrapping It Up
I get it. Kids' bad behavior is very triggering. We want to yell, argue with them, demand them to do things, and question why they are so bad. But all of those things do not focus on what we really want - to repair and change the bad behavior. So next time, your kid does something you deem bad, take a deep breath and remember these four fixes. Get my checklists on different strategies to do during life’s hard moments with your kids.
Kids with winter birthdays can get the short end of the stick when it comes to planning a birthday party.
They have to battle holidays, cold weather, and cold and flu’s (and Covid) worst season of the year. I know because I have a son with a winter birthday. So how do you plan a winter birthday that is fun for your kid and your guests? Sure, you can splurge on an indoor activity like a bounce or jumping place, but in today’s blog I have 7 fun party games you can play in the comfort of your own home. And since it is the year of the 2022 Winter Olympics, turn your kids' birthday party into the Winter Olympics. *Have a torch lighting ceremony for added fun* They are cheap and easy to set up while still leaving your kids and his friends in a fit of giggles. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
# 1 Snowblower Race
Can you get the snow out of the way before the other team does? Items Needed:
# 2 Snowball Pong
Can you get the snowball into the cup? This game is played like beer pong but hopefully your kids don’t know what that is. Lol Items Needed: How to Play:
# 3 Ice-skating Relay
Can you ice skate across the room without dropping the snowball on the spoon? Items Needed:
# 4 Snowball Fight
Can you knock over all the bowling ball pins? Items Needed: How to Play:
# 5 Melt the Ice
Be the first team to melt all of their ice and dump it in a bucket. Items Needed:
How to Play:
# 6 Pin the Carrot on the Snowman
See who can pin the carrot closest to where the carrot goes on the snowman. Items Needed: How to Play:
# 7 Stairway Luge
Be the fastest in the luge competition. Items Needed:
How to Play:
There you have it! Seven fun games to play at your kids birthday party. Your son or daughter will no longer rue the day they were born in the cold of winter.
Check out some winter party food on Pinterest and these winter party favors on Amazon to complete the perfect winter birthday party. And get my Theme of the Day guide for more fun activities throughout the whole year.
 For my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary, the song “Remember When” by Alan Jackson played over a slideshow as pictures of my grandma and grandad over the years flashed across the screen. With family and loved ones gathering to watch, I remember how touching the moment was. The song itself was nostalgic and evoked emotions from the people in the room, especially older couples. A few people were wiping tears from their eyes. But, as a young teenager, I didn’t fully grasp the song. I couldn’t.  Then, 15 years later I became a mom. One random day, when my son was a little over a year old and walking everywhere, the song came on and played throughout our house. And the lyrics hit me. Hard. I finally understood and could feel throughout my whole body their beautiful meaning. I sat there on my kitchen floor and sobbed tears, letting the words of the song absorb me and allowing myself to remember when. Remember when old ones died and new were born And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged  I went back to the day of my grandparents’ wedding anniversary and imagined what they were feeling as they stood arm in arm. Both of them in their 70s, had experienced the loss of their parents and other family members and friends throughout their life together. But out of death, came new life. The birth of kids. The birth of grandkids. And even the birth of great grandkids. I then recalled how much my life had changed since that day. My grandparents both have passed away, one not far after the other. But not too long after their deaths, my husband and I welcomed our first child into this world and were thrown into the blissful chaos that is parenthood. Our lives, now forever changed, disassembled, and rearranged, revolved around the little boy we fed, changed, bathed, held, and rocked every day.  Remember when the sound of little feet Was the music we danced to week to week I flashbacked to my grandparents’ house when I was a kid. Every Sunday, my grandma would cook a huge dinner and have the family over to all eat together. I loved going because it meant spending time with my cousins. We would scarf down our food as quickly as possible so we could be excused to go play. We would run up and down the steps to the basement and inside and outside playing tag, hide n seek, and any other imaginative game we had invented that day. When it was time to leave, we would begrudgingly gather our shoes and jackets to put on and then give a peck on the cheek to each of our grandparents who were probably still scrubbing dishes and picking up our mess. They did this week after week after week.  Now, I know why. The sound of little feet. As I sat on the floor listening to the lyrics, my son ran around laughing and playing. Pitter patter. Pitter patter went the sound of his feet. And I remembered when all those times those feet ran to greet me when I came home from work. All the moments those feet ran down the hallway to show off how fast they were. All the moments he and his other little friends ran throughout the house tearing it apart. The music we danced to week to week. I continued listening to the song, and I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of sadness. Those weeks to weeks were going by too fast. My husband and I had too many “remember whens” with our son already. “Remember when he would bite our noses when he was a newborn because he thought he could get milk out of them.” “Remember when he could fit on our chests, and he would sleep there peacefully.” “Remember when he would smash the food in his face.” “Remember when he would eat his toes.” Those were all over.  The song was wrapping up and the tears were still flowing down my face. The last verse played gently out. Remember when we said when we turned gray When the children grow up and move away We won't be sad, we'll be glad For all the life we've had And we'll remember when My final recollection from the day of my grandparents’ anniversary was the joy on their faces and in their smiles and laughter as they watched all of their memories being shared on their screen. They had a lifetime to look back on and remember all the beautiful ups and downs. And they were glad. The song ended, I wiped my tears, and went to chase after my son. Pitter patter went the sound of his little feet. I smiled because, for now, that was still the music I danced to week to week. And I am forever grateful for that.  To All the Parents of Shy Kids: Here are 3 Things to Stop Doing TODAY (And What to Do Instead)1/30/2022
8 MINUTE READ
This article was originally published on a Fine Parent
I was a shy kid growing up, evidenced by hilarious home videos at gymnastics or Easter egg hunts, where I would walk hesitantly from station to station or gingerly stroll as I collected a grand total of two eggs.
While most of the other kids were going wild, being adventurous, and jumping into the action without a care in the world, I preferred to hang near my parents. I would stick close to a comfort person while I assessed the situation and in large groups, I would rather listen than be the one to chime in. I can still be like that now as an adult (although I have, thankfully, long stopped clinging to my parents’ legs). I still remember situations throughout childhood in which I would overhear other parents say, “Ohh, is she shy?” their voices dripping with sympathy or pity. Every part of my insides would cringe and I would want to disappear. Fast forward to the present and I now have a two-and-a-half-year-old son who reminds me of the same child I was, clinging to my parent’s leg. He hangs out by my side at birthday parties to assess the situation before jumping in to play with the other kids. As he navigates a playground, I can see him assessing the ins and outs of each slide before taking the dive down. How big is it? How do I get up to it? How do the other kids go down? When he eventually goes down the slide, he will almost always run back to me to “check in.” He has clung to my leg on more than one occasion. Yes, my son is a lot like me, but I am refusing to let anyone call him shy. If you also have a child who is hesitant to jump in or needs a little extra comfort in social situations, we can use reframing to change our attitude and reaction to shy behavior. Reframing is an amazing technique that may not be specific to parenting but can be a powerful way to think more positively about our child’s behavior or find the “silver lining” of a trait that is easily assumed as negative. Reframing allows us to view a behavior with understanding and positivity. Read on to understand why we should stop calling our kids shy and ways in which we can reframe our mindset on shyness. 
Stop: Putting Our Kids in a “Box”
When we label our kids shy, especially when in front of them, we place them into a box, essentially communicating, “this is what you are, so this is how you are supposed to act.”
Whenever I was labeled shy as a child, I would, in fact, become more shy. Never once did I suddenly become more gregarious or adventurous right after someone said I was shy. Labels do not necessarily all have to be bad. For children with disabilities, identifying the disability with a label can potentially open the door for support they wouldn’t otherwise have access to. However, giving our child any one-dimensional label based on a small part of their personality or one specific behavior suggests that the characteristic is a fixed trait or that personality cannot be fluid. The danger with this suggestion (even if not intentional) is that children are observant and will often absorb the labels they hear adults call them–which can be difficult to shake off. I often think about when I was younger, and I heard people call me shy. The little voice in my head would scream out, “But I’m not always shy! When I’m with the neighborhood kids playing wiffle ball in the streets or performing plays with my cousins, I’m not shy! I’m loud and silly and funny. I wish you could see me then. But right now I feel stuck in being shy because you called me out on it.” Reframe how we think about labels: Clinical psychologist and mom of three, Dr. Becky Kennedy, says in her podcast that parents should be mindful of what we label our kids in their presence. Rather, she advises us to talk to our child about how they can be different things in different situations to avoid having our children feel stuck in one label. Instead of thinking of our children as shy kids, we can think of them as diverse and flexible in their personality, depending on the situation they are presented with. For my own son, this conversation has sounded something like this: When you go to the park and see all the other kids playing, you feel cautious and curious, right? You like to see how the kids are playing and what there is to play with before jumping in. You really want to play with them, but you feel a little nervous at first because you don’t know what to expect. That’s okay. You can feel two things. But then sometimes when you are at home with other kids, you are loud and go wild like a silly monster. You dive right into playing and making a mess. I see you are different at different times. Using this tactic can be a good reminder to us parents that we should never get stuck on just one small part of our child’s personality because we will miss out on the huge rainbow of traits they possess!
Stop: Believing Cautious Behavior Isn’t Normal
It’s not unusual for parents to jump to saying “they’re just shy,” as an explanation of a child’s hesitant behavior. Reality is that being cautious in the face of unfamiliar situations, environments or people should be totally acceptable behavior from our children. So why do we say it? It’s most likely that the quick label of “shyness” when a child is simply showing caution or hesitancy is more about our own emotions than our child’s. If shyness has caused your child to hesitate in responding to adults, it may be easily misinterpreted as disrespect–which may elicit feelings of embarrassment or shame towards the child’s behavior. This could be especially true if perceived disrespect is a parenting trigger for you! The problem with a quick explanation of shyness, especially when in front of our child, can suggest to our child that they are flawed or have a deficit. A fast statement that may be the automatic result of our own emotion can suddenly become a suggestion that our child should be embarrassed by a perceived flaw. Reframe how we think about cautious behavior: Being shy in new situations or around unfamiliar people can be a wonderful strength for children; indicating that they are in tune with their emotions regarding safety and have the self-awareness that their own comfort level is increased when allowed to first observe their surroundings. Cautiousness or hesitancy in new situations does not automatically indicate an introverted personality type that will lead into adulthood. Introverts strongly prefer a certain amount of solitude, while children who exhibit shyness in new social situations may be slower to warm up but most likely seek the company of others. We can reframe how we think about cautious behavior by focusing on the positive aspects often associated with shyness, including doing well in school, behaving and following rules, and listening attentively to others. In fact, shy kids are most often considered by caregivers as easy children to look after. 
Stop: Believing Shyness = Lack of Confidence
Shyness sometimes gets confused for a lack of confidence in a child. From my own experience, I can say that although I could be shy, I definitely wasn’t lacking confidence; and I can see that my son does not lack confidence either.
Dr. Becky goes as far to say that shyness is confidence and I’m one hundred percent on board with this message. To explain this, she gives an example of two sets of parents who came to her for advice. The first set of parents had a toddler and were lamenting about how shy he was during birthday parties and how they wished he could have the confidence to join his friends on the soccer field. The other set of parents had a teenage son. They were concerned about how their son got suspended at school for following the crowd. Their strife was over how they wished their son could say ‘no’ to what his friends were doing and realize that their behavior wasn’t for him. Why couldn’t their son be more confident? Wow that example is powerful. As parents, we want our kids to grow up with the ability to have a voice of their own and to say no when they feel something isn’t right. And when our shy kids don’t join in with all the other kids, they are, in fact, asserting confidence in the situation. They are confident enough to listen to their own bodies and feelings. Right now, I don’t feel comfortable doing this, so I am not going to. This is true in my situation. I grew up with the ability to say no in the face of peer pressure, try hard things, and make positive friendships. Reframe how we think about confidence: Next time our child exhibits signs of shyness, we can remind ourselves that shyness may be a sign of moral excellence and the ability to be hesitant until what is happening aligns with their moral standards. This is a hugely beneficial skill for children as they grow older and experience peer pressure. Confidence doesn’t have to mean being the first to jump into the action. Confidence is knowing how you feel inside and listening to that feeling. It’s knowing how to say no in the face of peer pressure and picking the friends that you feel comfortable around. When we notice our child being shy, we can be proud that they are listening to that voice inside of them. “Right now I don’t feel comfortable, so I am just going to observe first.” 
How to Handle Shyness with Your Child
Reframing our mindset of shyness allows us to have a healthier attitude towards our child’s hesitant behavior. As we are the largest influence on our children, this alone may positively impact our children to take the risks we want them to take.
When a child starts showing signs of shyness, parents can do a few things to help encourage them to join in on the social fun:
To confront this issue, Dr. Becky reminds us that we can be upfront about the issue of safety and talk to our children about what they can expect when going out. Familiarize the unfamiliar. My job is to keep you safe. I assessed the situation, and I think it is safe to go to your friend’s birthday party at the playground. I looked up the playground online. Do you want to see what kind of things that will be on the playground? Ohh look at the slide. You will have to climb up here to get to it. What do you think of that?
Shyness doesn’t have to be a label that we stick on our child when we know that our children possess such beautiful and vast arrays of traits and characteristics.
Even if our child is shy at times, it may just be an indicator that they are deeply in tune with their body and feelings. We can foster that as a strength and provide support to our children by reframing our mindset of shyness!
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
Take a few minutes to contemplate or journal the following questions:
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents
If you find that you need help rethinking your child’s shyness, try out the following for the next few weeks. It may be helpful to write down what you want to remind yourself to turn to and post it somewhere visible in your house:
Financial literacy is so important for kids to know.
Yet…. 54% of parents rated their teenager's knowledge of money management as either "good" or "excellent," but 78% percent of the children of those respondents rated their own knowledge of money management as merely average or even poor. And only 26% of 13-21 year olds surveyed said that their parents taught them how to manage money. I’ll be honest, my financial literacy tapped out around middle school. My parents and grandparents did a good job of teaching me to save money, give money in a generous way, and work to earn money. But beyond that, I didn’t learn the intricacies of money that are so important to know. That is until I met my husband who is well-versed in financial literacy partly due to learning from his own mistakes. Thanks to him we have taken Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class, listened to the Ramsey Show Podcast on every road trip, and started financial couples counseling. Now, my goal is to make sure my high school students, especially students of color, and my own son are learning about important financial literacy topics. And most importantly, teaching them to pass this knowledge on to their own children and friends, so they are building a legacy of wealth and financial literacy. In today’s blog, I have 15 important topics to teach kids about financial literacy at every age and stage. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
Download the chart here
15 Important Topics to Teach Kids About Financial Literacy at Every Age and Stage
Toddler Years: Ages 2-3
# 1 What is Money At this age, teach your toddler what money actually is by identifying the names of dollars and coins (one dollar bill, five dollar bill, ten dollar bill, penny, nickel, dime, quarter). This is a good age to get a pretend cash register and play store or restaurant. Have your kids give you items or make you food from their pretend kitchen. In return, give them money. # 2 Wants and Needs At the toddler stage, 2-3 year olds can start to learn what they need to live vs. what they want to have. As a parent, you can gather some belongings (food, clothes, toy cars, toy house, legos, etc) and sort those things into two piles: wants and needs. When you take your kids to the store, you can discuss whether what you are buying is a want or need. This is the financial literacy they need in order to make smart buying decisions as they grow up. # 3 How Money Works To expand upon #2, teach your toddlers that your wants and needs cost money. Take them to the store with you and show them the price tag for an item. Explain that this tells you how much something costs and how you have to pay for it before leaving the store. With the cash register at home, set up a restaurant and store. Make a menu with how much an item costs or a store with price tags on various toys. Model examples of when you have enough money, you can buy something and when you don’t have enough, you can’t buy it.
Preschool Years: Ages 3-5
# 4 How to Earn Money Kids ages 3-5 can start to learn ways to earn money. Talk to them about how when you go to work, you earn money. When you sell old toys and clothes, you can earn money. When you do extra chores around the house, you can earn money or an allowance. When you start a business, like a lemonade stand, you can earn money. When you provide a service for someone else, like raking leaves, you can earn money. # 5 Saving vs. Spending vs. Giving The 3 jar system is a good way to teach your preschoolers about the three ways you can handle money. The money they earn or are given can either go into three categories: save, spend, give. Help your kids learn that some money they should save for something big. Some money they can spend right away for something small. And some money they should give to help others. # 6 Online Banking/Shopping In a digital world, a majority of people are buying things online and using credit or debit cards or apps where you can exchange money (PayPal, Venmo, Apple Pay, Cash App). With this new technology, it is easy to spend money recklessly because you have nothing tangible to see decrease. This can be hard for little kids. That is why we hear so many stories of kids aimlessly racking up hundreds of dollars on their parents’ Amazon accounts. Once preschoolers have an idea of what money is and how it works, start the discussion of online banking and shopping. Some accounts on your phone and computer are set up to a credit or debit card and money goes away when you buy something. It might even be a good time to introduce key words like: decrease, increase, greater than, and less than. You can even show them on a number line that when you buy something online or swipe a card, the money you have decreases. When you earn money through work, the money you have in your bank increases. 
Elementary Years: Ages 5-10
# 7 Adding/Subtracting/Multiplying/Dividing Money In the elementary years, schools will work on these basic math skills with kids, but you can reinforce this skill at home. Work on buying multiple items from the pretend store or restaurant. Kids will have to practice adding money in that way. # 8 Making a Profit Learning that how much you spend should be less than how much you earn is called a profit is very valuable. The elementary years are a time to learn that. The best way to teach this is for experience. Growing up, we practiced this a lot through the lemonade stands and carnivals we did in the summer and the pose with a large pumpkin and makeshift hayride we hosted at our house during the fall. These events were good learning opportunities. Other experiences you can do with your kid to learn about a profit:
Calculated how much you spent with your kids to get everything set up and then how much money you made. Subtract the difference. That is the profit. Remember to teach your kids that your time is worth money too. Although you might have made a profit, was it worth it for the amount of time and work you put into it? That’s important for kids to learn to enhance their financial literacy skills. # 9 Comparison Shopping Discounts. Sales. Thrift shops. Deals. Shopping around. Teach your kids to research before you make a purchase, especially a larger one. Include them in on a purchase you want to make for a household. Show them how you Google the product and compare prices from different websites or stores. Make sure you point out that something might be cheaper, but the overall quality is poor compared to something more expensive.
Middle School Years: Ages 11-14
# 10 Creating a Budget Around the middle school years, kids should actively create a budget or participate in one at home. Kids should learn the difference between fixed and variable costs within a budget. Have your tweens record things bought into the budget after an outing to the grocery store. We use the EveryDollar App for our budget. # 11 Credit Cards vs. Debit Cards vs. Cash By this age, kids ages 11-14, probably already know what a credit card and a debit card is. But if they don’t, now is the time to teach them. However, what is more important is to know the pros and cons of using each of these forms of payment. Bring up what interest is when related to credit cards. Then, allow your middle schoolers to come to their own conclusion with each. Ask prompting questions like why might you prefer debit cards and cash over credit cards? What are some rules to remember if you ever use a credit card? One of the critical elements to financial literacy is allowing kids to have the ability to think and infer when it comes to money instead of being passive users and spenders. # 12 Saving for College Going into debt for college has become the norm and acceptable, but it doesn’t have to be. Starting the discussion around saving for college should start early and be discussed often. The middle school years are the time for that. At this age, kids can learn about 529 plans, scholarships, work study, grants, and the dangers of taking out too many loans. They can start exploring the cost of college and the difference between in-state tuition, out-of-state tuition, and community college tuition. They don’t need to have a major and where they want to go to college decided at this age. They just need to know the cost of college, how to save for it, and why they don’t want to graduate with mounds of debt. 
High School Years: Ages 14-18
# 13 Taxes and Insurance Teenagers need to have financial literacy in this area, but most don't. I know I didn’t at that age. Here’s what they need to learn.
And the best way for them to learn is to be actively involved in the finances at home and engaged with open and honest conversations with the family. # 14 How to Save and Invest Teenagers are not too young to save and invest for the future, even retirement. Here’s what they need to learn:
Financial Peace University could be a good gift to give your highschooler to learn this important financial information. # 15 Buying a Car Vs. Leasing and Buying a House Vs. Renting Teenagers need to learn the pros and cons of each of these actions. Again, this is a conversation to have with them or an area that will be covered in Financial Peace University.
Wrapping It Up
Money doesn’t have to be such a taboo and daunting subject that we avoid discussing with our kids of all ages. It should be something that we start teaching our kids early and building upon at every age and stage. Although there is a lot to learn when it comes to money, these fifteen important topics are the building blocks to having a well-abled, thoughtful, generous consumer as a child who has rich knowledge of financial literacy. And financial literacy is so important… “My hope is that with increased financial capability, more of us will be able to transition from surviving to thriving. Resulting in sufficient resources to support our own ever-changing, highly subjective pursuit of ‘happiness’.” -Travis Cook, Education Specialist, Utah State Board of Education
Introduction
So about a month ago, I felt like the bedtime routine with my son was dragging on and on and on. We would deal with toddler tantrums, or we would have to read a million books and he would have to say goodnight to his dump truck and turn on and off the light and, and, and, and..... Sometimes, I don’t mind. I love to soak in those cuddles and love my son’s love for reading. But sometimes, I am ready to wrap.this.thing.up. Don't get me wrong, I love some snuggles, but after a long day of work, I really wanted to have some time to myself and my husband. Those things aren't selfish. They are essential to the makeup of the self-care of a busy mom. So if this is you, what to do? In today’s blog, I have 7 easy tips to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
7 Easy Tips to Eliminate Toddler Tantrums at Bedtime
In today’s blog, I have 6 easy tips to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime and cut 10 minutes out of the routine.
# 1 Use a Timer.
Toddlers with big feelings aren’t going to understand that play is just over and all of the sudden they have to stop and go to bed. At least, they won’t understand on their own. They need some help. Introducing the timer. Before bed, use a timer to establish when it is time for bedtime. "Okay you are on the clock, you have 5 minutes left to play. When Mr. Ringer dings, we are all done." Then, you set the timer and every minute or so, you remind your toddler “You’re on the clock.” When the timer goes off, excitedly proclaim, “Mr. Ringer! Time to put everything away.” Preparing your kids that play or TV will end soon, will help eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. It won't feel so abrupt to them, and over time, they will be conditioned to know what that timer means. I like to give my toddler some control too when the timer goes off. I will give him the remote to turn off the TV or hand him a toy to put away. Something very specific and goal oriented that I can praise him for doing that will make him feel in control and special.
# 2 Set the Mood.
Sleep hygiene is so important for adults and kids too. Just like it’s hard for me to go to sleep right after exercising or being on my phone for a while, kids can’t be expected to go to bed after watching a stimulating TV show or vigorously playing. That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. Setting the mood can look like this:
By setting the mood, we are preparing toddlers for sleep and getting them to feel tired. Therefore, they are less likely to have a meltdown when we announce it’s time to go to bed. Why? Because they are already feeling sleepy. 
# 3 Set Boundaries and Stick With Them
When the dinger goes off, be firm and stay within your rules. "Ok, the TV is going off in 5-4-3-2-1. Bye, bye, TV. Goodnight." The first few times, your toddler might throw a tantrum or cry or beg for more. It might be tempting to give in and give them “just five more minutes.” But hold firm. The more wiggle room you give them, the more they will continue throwing fits to get more TV because they know that that works. Simply shut down the play or the TV, take a deep breath, and allow for the cries and tantrums. They are a healthy release of emotions. I like to say, “You’re sad that the TV had to get shut off. You didn’t want that. Right now we need to go up to bed to get ready. Can you help me pick out a book about a truck?” You set the boundary and hold firm, but you also empathize and redirect with a choice. After a while of doing this practice, you will start to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime.
# 4 Explain What Will Happen Before Bedtime
Oftentimes the actual going to bed is what sets your toddler off. They don’t want to stop playing and miss out on any excitement. Therefore, shift their focus away from bedtime. Explain to your toddler what you are going to do BEFORE bed. Instead of "It's time to go upstairs to bed," say "It's time to go upstairs to take a fun bath, read two books, and sing our song." This will get your toddler excited and decrease those bedtime tantrums. 
# 5 Implement a Checklist
Toddlers are visual. They also like to help out and have responsibilities. Implement a checklist of the nighttime routine. "Ok, let's look at the checklist. Let's see what's first. Oh! First, we take a bath....Ok, bathtime is finished. Let's check it off and see what is next." Carry around a laminated checklist or have it hanging in your toddler’s bedroom. Point to each one and have your toddler check off each routine after it’s completed. After a while, you can even ask them what comes next in the routine. For additional positive parenting, play the fool with your toddler. Every now and then, mix up the routine on purpose and have your toddler fix your mistake to make them feel confident and in charge. “Okay, now it is time to brush your knees….Ohhh, your teeth. Not knees. Silly me.” “Okay, first we will put on your pajamas, and then we will get a bath.” Your toddler will be giggling in no time and forgetting all about why he didn’t want to go to bed in the first place.
# 6 Gossip About Your Toddler
Gossip about your toddler before bed. Share the news how well your toddler is following the bedtime routine and how she listened to the dinger. Toddlers like to hear how well they are doing especially when they overhear praise from Mommy and Daddy to their favorite stuffed animal. With continued praise, those bedtime tantrums will gradually decrease.
# 7 Reinforce with Sign Language
Finally, reinforce everything with sign language. Sign language reduces tantrums and increases comprehension. Some key phrases to sign:
Wrapping It Up
Some key takeaways to remember... 1. When toddlers throw a tantrum right before bed, they aren't doing it to be defiant. They don't want the fun to end. 2. Stick to a consistent routine to trigger your toddlers' sleepy cues. Toddlers likes predictability. 3. Show empathy for your toddler. It's hard always being told what to do. Check out my checklists for life's hard moments. ?
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Photo used under Creative Commons from does_not_travel_often
