Financial literacy is so important for kids to know.
Yet…. 54% of parents rated their teenager's knowledge of money management as either "good" or "excellent," but 78% percent of the children of those respondents rated their own knowledge of money management as merely average or even poor. And only 26% of 13-21 year olds surveyed said that their parents taught them how to manage money. I’ll be honest, my financial literacy tapped out around middle school. My parents and grandparents did a good job of teaching me to save money, give money in a generous way, and work to earn money. But beyond that, I didn’t learn the intricacies of money that are so important to know. That is until I met my husband who is well-versed in financial literacy partly due to learning from his own mistakes. Thanks to him we have taken Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class, listened to the Ramsey Show Podcast on every road trip, and started financial couples counseling. Now, my goal is to make sure my high school students, especially students of color, and my own son are learning about important financial literacy topics. And most importantly, teaching them to pass this knowledge on to their own children and friends, so they are building a legacy of wealth and financial literacy. In today’s blog, I have 15 important topics to teach kids about financial literacy at every age and stage. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
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15 Important Topics to Teach Kids About Financial Literacy at Every Age and Stage
Toddler Years: Ages 2-3
# 1 What is Money At this age, teach your toddler what money actually is by identifying the names of dollars and coins (one dollar bill, five dollar bill, ten dollar bill, penny, nickel, dime, quarter). This is a good age to get a pretend cash register and play store or restaurant. Have your kids give you items or make you food from their pretend kitchen. In return, give them money. # 2 Wants and Needs At the toddler stage, 2-3 year olds can start to learn what they need to live vs. what they want to have. As a parent, you can gather some belongings (food, clothes, toy cars, toy house, legos, etc) and sort those things into two piles: wants and needs. When you take your kids to the store, you can discuss whether what you are buying is a want or need. This is the financial literacy they need in order to make smart buying decisions as they grow up. # 3 How Money Works To expand upon #2, teach your toddlers that your wants and needs cost money. Take them to the store with you and show them the price tag for an item. Explain that this tells you how much something costs and how you have to pay for it before leaving the store. With the cash register at home, set up a restaurant and store. Make a menu with how much an item costs or a store with price tags on various toys. Model examples of when you have enough money, you can buy something and when you don’t have enough, you can’t buy it.
Preschool Years: Ages 3-5
# 4 How to Earn Money Kids ages 3-5 can start to learn ways to earn money. Talk to them about how when you go to work, you earn money. When you sell old toys and clothes, you can earn money. When you do extra chores around the house, you can earn money or an allowance. When you start a business, like a lemonade stand, you can earn money. When you provide a service for someone else, like raking leaves, you can earn money. # 5 Saving vs. Spending vs. Giving The 3 jar system is a good way to teach your preschoolers about the three ways you can handle money. The money they earn or are given can either go into three categories: save, spend, give. Help your kids learn that some money they should save for something big. Some money they can spend right away for something small. And some money they should give to help others. # 6 Online Banking/Shopping In a digital world, a majority of people are buying things online and using credit or debit cards or apps where you can exchange money (PayPal, Venmo, Apple Pay, Cash App). With this new technology, it is easy to spend money recklessly because you have nothing tangible to see decrease. This can be hard for little kids. That is why we hear so many stories of kids aimlessly racking up hundreds of dollars on their parents’ Amazon accounts. Once preschoolers have an idea of what money is and how it works, start the discussion of online banking and shopping. Some accounts on your phone and computer are set up to a credit or debit card and money goes away when you buy something. It might even be a good time to introduce key words like: decrease, increase, greater than, and less than. You can even show them on a number line that when you buy something online or swipe a card, the money you have decreases. When you earn money through work, the money you have in your bank increases. 
Elementary Years: Ages 5-10
# 7 Adding/Subtracting/Multiplying/Dividing Money In the elementary years, schools will work on these basic math skills with kids, but you can reinforce this skill at home. Work on buying multiple items from the pretend store or restaurant. Kids will have to practice adding money in that way. # 8 Making a Profit Learning that how much you spend should be less than how much you earn is called a profit is very valuable. The elementary years are a time to learn that. The best way to teach this is for experience. Growing up, we practiced this a lot through the lemonade stands and carnivals we did in the summer and the pose with a large pumpkin and makeshift hayride we hosted at our house during the fall. These events were good learning opportunities. Other experiences you can do with your kid to learn about a profit:
Calculated how much you spent with your kids to get everything set up and then how much money you made. Subtract the difference. That is the profit. Remember to teach your kids that your time is worth money too. Although you might have made a profit, was it worth it for the amount of time and work you put into it? That’s important for kids to learn to enhance their financial literacy skills. # 9 Comparison Shopping Discounts. Sales. Thrift shops. Deals. Shopping around. Teach your kids to research before you make a purchase, especially a larger one. Include them in on a purchase you want to make for a household. Show them how you Google the product and compare prices from different websites or stores. Make sure you point out that something might be cheaper, but the overall quality is poor compared to something more expensive.
Middle School Years: Ages 11-14
# 10 Creating a Budget Around the middle school years, kids should actively create a budget or participate in one at home. Kids should learn the difference between fixed and variable costs within a budget. Have your tweens record things bought into the budget after an outing to the grocery store. We use the EveryDollar App for our budget. # 11 Credit Cards vs. Debit Cards vs. Cash By this age, kids ages 11-14, probably already know what a credit card and a debit card is. But if they don’t, now is the time to teach them. However, what is more important is to know the pros and cons of using each of these forms of payment. Bring up what interest is when related to credit cards. Then, allow your middle schoolers to come to their own conclusion with each. Ask prompting questions like why might you prefer debit cards and cash over credit cards? What are some rules to remember if you ever use a credit card? One of the critical elements to financial literacy is allowing kids to have the ability to think and infer when it comes to money instead of being passive users and spenders. # 12 Saving for College Going into debt for college has become the norm and acceptable, but it doesn’t have to be. Starting the discussion around saving for college should start early and be discussed often. The middle school years are the time for that. At this age, kids can learn about 529 plans, scholarships, work study, grants, and the dangers of taking out too many loans. They can start exploring the cost of college and the difference between in-state tuition, out-of-state tuition, and community college tuition. They don’t need to have a major and where they want to go to college decided at this age. They just need to know the cost of college, how to save for it, and why they don’t want to graduate with mounds of debt. 
High School Years: Ages 14-18
# 13 Taxes and Insurance Teenagers need to have financial literacy in this area, but most don't. I know I didn’t at that age. Here’s what they need to learn.
And the best way for them to learn is to be actively involved in the finances at home and engaged with open and honest conversations with the family. # 14 How to Save and Invest Teenagers are not too young to save and invest for the future, even retirement. Here’s what they need to learn:
Financial Peace University could be a good gift to give your highschooler to learn this important financial information. # 15 Buying a Car Vs. Leasing and Buying a House Vs. Renting Teenagers need to learn the pros and cons of each of these actions. Again, this is a conversation to have with them or an area that will be covered in Financial Peace University.
Wrapping It Up
Money doesn’t have to be such a taboo and daunting subject that we avoid discussing with our kids of all ages. It should be something that we start teaching our kids early and building upon at every age and stage. Although there is a lot to learn when it comes to money, these fifteen important topics are the building blocks to having a well-abled, thoughtful, generous consumer as a child who has rich knowledge of financial literacy. And financial literacy is so important… “My hope is that with increased financial capability, more of us will be able to transition from surviving to thriving. Resulting in sufficient resources to support our own ever-changing, highly subjective pursuit of ‘happiness’.” -Travis Cook, Education Specialist, Utah State Board of Education
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Introduction
So about a month ago, I felt like the bedtime routine with my son was dragging on and on and on. We would deal with toddler tantrums, or we would have to read a million books and he would have to say goodnight to his dump truck and turn on and off the light and, and, and, and..... Sometimes, I don’t mind. I love to soak in those cuddles and love my son’s love for reading. But sometimes, I am ready to wrap.this.thing.up. Don't get me wrong, I love some snuggles, but after a long day of work, I really wanted to have some time to myself and my husband. Those things aren't selfish. They are essential to the makeup of the self-care of a busy mom. So if this is you, what to do? In today’s blog, I have 7 easy tips to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
7 Easy Tips to Eliminate Toddler Tantrums at Bedtime
In today’s blog, I have 6 easy tips to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime and cut 10 minutes out of the routine.
# 1 Use a Timer.
Toddlers with big feelings aren’t going to understand that play is just over and all of the sudden they have to stop and go to bed. At least, they won’t understand on their own. They need some help. Introducing the timer. Before bed, use a timer to establish when it is time for bedtime. "Okay you are on the clock, you have 5 minutes left to play. When Mr. Ringer dings, we are all done." Then, you set the timer and every minute or so, you remind your toddler “You’re on the clock.” When the timer goes off, excitedly proclaim, “Mr. Ringer! Time to put everything away.” Preparing your kids that play or TV will end soon, will help eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. It won't feel so abrupt to them, and over time, they will be conditioned to know what that timer means. I like to give my toddler some control too when the timer goes off. I will give him the remote to turn off the TV or hand him a toy to put away. Something very specific and goal oriented that I can praise him for doing that will make him feel in control and special.
# 2 Set the Mood.
Sleep hygiene is so important for adults and kids too. Just like it’s hard for me to go to sleep right after exercising or being on my phone for a while, kids can’t be expected to go to bed after watching a stimulating TV show or vigorously playing. That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime. Setting the mood can look like this:
By setting the mood, we are preparing toddlers for sleep and getting them to feel tired. Therefore, they are less likely to have a meltdown when we announce it’s time to go to bed. Why? Because they are already feeling sleepy. 
# 3 Set Boundaries and Stick With Them
When the dinger goes off, be firm and stay within your rules. "Ok, the TV is going off in 5-4-3-2-1. Bye, bye, TV. Goodnight." The first few times, your toddler might throw a tantrum or cry or beg for more. It might be tempting to give in and give them “just five more minutes.” But hold firm. The more wiggle room you give them, the more they will continue throwing fits to get more TV because they know that that works. Simply shut down the play or the TV, take a deep breath, and allow for the cries and tantrums. They are a healthy release of emotions. I like to say, “You’re sad that the TV had to get shut off. You didn’t want that. Right now we need to go up to bed to get ready. Can you help me pick out a book about a truck?” You set the boundary and hold firm, but you also empathize and redirect with a choice. After a while of doing this practice, you will start to eliminate toddler tantrums at bedtime.
# 4 Explain What Will Happen Before Bedtime
Oftentimes the actual going to bed is what sets your toddler off. They don’t want to stop playing and miss out on any excitement. Therefore, shift their focus away from bedtime. Explain to your toddler what you are going to do BEFORE bed. Instead of "It's time to go upstairs to bed," say "It's time to go upstairs to take a fun bath, read two books, and sing our song." This will get your toddler excited and decrease those bedtime tantrums. 
# 5 Implement a Checklist
Toddlers are visual. They also like to help out and have responsibilities. Implement a checklist of the nighttime routine. "Ok, let's look at the checklist. Let's see what's first. Oh! First, we take a bath....Ok, bathtime is finished. Let's check it off and see what is next." Carry around a laminated checklist or have it hanging in your toddler’s bedroom. Point to each one and have your toddler check off each routine after it’s completed. After a while, you can even ask them what comes next in the routine. For additional positive parenting, play the fool with your toddler. Every now and then, mix up the routine on purpose and have your toddler fix your mistake to make them feel confident and in charge. “Okay, now it is time to brush your knees….Ohhh, your teeth. Not knees. Silly me.” “Okay, first we will put on your pajamas, and then we will get a bath.” Your toddler will be giggling in no time and forgetting all about why he didn’t want to go to bed in the first place.
# 6 Gossip About Your Toddler
Gossip about your toddler before bed. Share the news how well your toddler is following the bedtime routine and how she listened to the dinger. Toddlers like to hear how well they are doing especially when they overhear praise from Mommy and Daddy to their favorite stuffed animal. With continued praise, those bedtime tantrums will gradually decrease.
# 7 Reinforce with Sign Language
Finally, reinforce everything with sign language. Sign language reduces tantrums and increases comprehension. Some key phrases to sign:
Wrapping It Up
Some key takeaways to remember... 1. When toddlers throw a tantrum right before bed, they aren't doing it to be defiant. They don't want the fun to end. 2. Stick to a consistent routine to trigger your toddlers' sleepy cues. Toddlers likes predictability. 3. Show empathy for your toddler. It's hard always being told what to do. Check out my checklists for life's hard moments. ?
Introduction
Less is more has been my mantra in parenting lately. There has long been the narrative that moms have to be tired, burnt out, and stressed, running around like a chicken with its head cut off (do people still use this idiom?). TV shows often depict a mom as being forgetful, clumsy, disoriented, and disheveled. While motherhood is certainly hard, and there are days where we are surviving instead of thriving, the overall theme of motherhood doesn’t have to be this way. Once we start to shift our mindset to less is more, we will start to see parenting to be more enjoyable. In today’s blog, I have 5 parenting hacks to simplify your life at home. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. Table of Contents
Less is More: 5 Parenting Hacks to Simplify Your Life at Home
#1. Less Toys More toys in our child’s life doesn’t mean that they will be occupied and entertained more. In fact, it’s the classic proven example of when we are given too many options, we choose nothing or take no risks to try something new. The same is true with kids. The more toys they have to pick from, the more distracted they are and the less likely to use their imagination. While on the other hand, less toys means MORE chances to develop creativity, participate in MORE focused play, and encourage gratitude. What can you do if you have too many toys? 1. Do a toy rotation: Instead of keeping all of your kid’s toys out where he can access them, do a toy rotation where you gather toys to put in different bins. Every week or so, put one bin or collection of toys out while the other bins are hidden away. This is a win-win for you and your child.
2. Do a donation. You have my permission to get rid of some of those toys that are loud, require too many battery changes, and seemingly won’t shut off. Every 6 months or so, chuck those toys that are annoying or that your kids have outgrown or don’t use. If you wish to involve your kids, this is a great time to teach them about gratitude, sharing, waste, and excess. 3. Ask for gifts besides toys. Kids get a lot of toys for birthdays and holidays. Instead of having your kids get toys each time, ask for different kinds of gifts from loved ones and friends.
Having fewer toys in your home, means more meaningful play, conversations, and engagement with your kids. 
#2. Less Commitments
Susie from Busy Toddler says it well. Being unbusy is a big deal to her. While she takes it to the extreme and doesn’t have her kids in any activities, it’s time you look at your schedule and cut out some of those commitments. More activities equal less time for quality time with families, less money, less energy, and less time for kids to participate in unstructured play which is an integral part of their well-being and development. When cutting back on commitments, especially for your kids, think about the reasons why you are doing these activities in the first place. For example, I was on the verge of signing my 2 year old son up for soccer because I saw other kids his age participating in it. But, my son had expressed no interest in soccer and saying “yes” to soccer was potentially saying “no” to family dinners, relaxing Saturday mornings, and hard earned money. I was just going to do it because I felt like he “had to” because other kids were doing it. So take a look at your schedule and cut back on your commitments. You’ll discover you now have MORE time for the things that matter.
#3. Less Screen Time
I’m not against screen time at all, but I could write a whole blog within itself about screen time and why we need to regulate it more (I’m a high school teacher. A lot of kids have real addictions similar to that of drugs. These kids are not okay.). The important thing to remember is that screen time looks a lot differently than it did for Millennials growing up in the 90s. It is not the same! So when we hear the phrase, “My parents let me watch a lot of TV growing up, and I turned out fine,” know that we are comparing apples and oranges. Less screen time (notice that I didn’t say no screen time) means more time for unstructured play, more sleep, more positive behaviors, and more health benefits. Struggling to limit screen time in kids? Turn to Jerrica of Raise Wildflowers for a TV detox. 
#4. Less Clutter
More clutter equals more anxiety, more unhealthy habits, and more of an inability to focus. Point blank - clutter isn’t good for our brains and another reason to get rid of all those toys. We recently moved houses, and it was an amazing feeling to get rid of so much junk we had accumulated in our old house. I had a rule: If there was no space or more for something, it wasn’t entering into the new house. Now in our new house, everything has a specific spot where it is supposed to go and each spot is organized by category. We have boxes full of first aid supplies, tools, picture hangers, paper and stationary, manuals and guides, etc. Nothing comes into the house if it doesn’t have a specific, organized spot to be housed. Need help with decluttering: Look to this article and these supplies below. Why? Because less clutter leads to MORE space, MORE organization, MORE happiness, and MORE relaxation.
#5. Less Playing
As parents we already have a lot on our plate. That’s why I think it is okay to adopt lazy parenting (read the article - it isn’t what you think). Instead of playing with your kids all day long, teach them how to play independently by doing time-ins and then stepping back to do what you want. Less playing with your kids will equal MORE time for your kids to engage in unstructure, independent play and MORE time for you to feel relaxed, refreshed, and renewed without any of the guilt and shame. 
Wrapping it up
With these five steps, you’ll find that less really is more. As a society that thinks we need more, more, more to be happy, you’ll find that by doing less of the things that culture pushes on us when we have kids, we are actually happier. So start with one of the things on this list and try to add one each 1-2 months. And remember a lot of the times less is really more. To get more tips like this, sign up for my parenting survival checklists for life’s tough moments. And engage in the comments.
Introduction Technology is growing exponentially. What’s in today could be out tomorrow and replaced by something bigger, faster, and newer. The growth of technology came about so rapidly that it has been hard for parents and teachers to keep up. And we are left trying to build the plane while flying it. While kids and teenagers can navigate around the internet probably a lot better than parents can, they don’t really have the tools to engage with technology effectively, mindfully, and meaningfully. What do I mean by that? Although teenagers might know how to upload pictures, edit videos, create YouTube channels, they might not have the skills to handle the mental and emotional aspects of technology. Is technology an effective use of their time? Are they being mindful of what they take in and how often they consume technology? Is what they are using technology for a meaningful use of their time and mental health? If teenagers don’t know how to answer these questions it’s because they really have never been taught because the emergence of technology has happened so fast. But we are learning more and more, and I have 4 of the best tips for teachers to engage with technology that they need to be explicitly taught. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.  Table of Contents
4 of the Best Tips for Parent to Teach Their Teenagers How To Engage With the Internet In today’s blog post, I have 4 tips for parents that will help them educate teenagers on how to engage with technology. # 1 Learn How to Check In Teenagers need to explicitly learn how to check in with themselves when using technology. Before they pick up a phone or turn on the TV, they need to ask themselves what is the reason for using this technology. Why am I here? Maybe it’s for informational, entertaining, or communicative purposes. There is no right or wrong reason. They just need to be able to answer the question. After 10 minutes or so, they need to develop the wherewithal to check in with themselves and answer the questions: Am I still here for the reason why I came in the first place, and how am I feeling? We have all been there. We log onto social media for a few minutes just for some mindless entertainment. Next thing we know, 5 minutes turns into an hour, and we are down a rabbit hole of searching our ex-boyfriend’s sister’s new husband’s FaceBook page. As an adult, when I come to this realization, I immediately log off and proclaim that this is a waste of my time. We want teenagers to be able to develop the skill of checking in on their own before they get too deep and risk hurting their mental health. So if they can answer this question after a few minutes of being on the technology, Am I still here for the reason why I came in the first place, then that is a good starting place to know if they should continue on the device or put it down and walk away. The same with, How I am feeling? Teenagers need to know how what they are doing with technology is making them feel. If they feel in any way negatively (less than, worthless, lazy, envious, bitter, angry, depressed, etc), then they should ask themselves if what they are doing is really worth it and then have the willpower to walk away. Sometimes, it is perfectly fine to waste time on social media, but that is why having the ability to check in is so important. When teenagers can pause ever so often and reflect inwardly, we can start to trust that they are engaging with technology meaningfully, mindfully, and purposefully. And this will affect their overall mental health for the better. # 2 Create Rules I do this strategy and it works well for me. I create rules for myself surrounding social media and texting because I feel like that is where I waste the most time and take up too much of my mental space. Teach your kids to do what works best for them and your family, but for some examples here is what I do: Rule 1: I do not (mostly) get on social media on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Arbitrary days I picked, but it works for me. Rule 2: After 9PM, I set my phone to Do Not Disturb, and I do not (mostly) check my phone until 10 PM right when I am going to bed to make sure I didn’t receive anything urgent. Rule 3: I do not have my work email set up on my phone, and I do not (mostly) check my email after hours during the week and not until Sunday night or Monday morning after the weekend. Rule 4: When I work out/go for a run, I take my phone for safety but let people know that I will not be checking my phone. Rule 5: I refuse to have an Apple Watch. While my rules do not work for everyone, they can be adapted to fit your teenager’s lifestyle. Teach your kids that these rules prioritize mental health and other important factors in your kids’ lives like school work, reading, hobbies, friendships, family time, and exercising. This article will help you teach your kids how to set up time limits and restrictions on apps and your phone in general. By setting rules and limits, I find myself enjoying social media more and don’t feel guilty when I spend an unlimited amount of time on it during the days I allow myself to get on. I feel as if I am more present with my friends, family and world around me. I get better sleep, am more productive, and make time for the other things in life that bring me enjoyment. I highly suggest setting up rules with your teenagers.  # 3 Have Explicit Conversations Parents need to have conversations with their teenagers about what they can potentially see on their devices before they discover it on their own or with their friends. That way if teenagers do discover something that they are unsure of or makes them feel strange, they won’t feel awkward bringing it up with their parents because they know they can have an honest, safe conversation. Dr. Becky Kennedy from Good Inside has a good discussion about these tricky conversations with Sharon McMahon from @sharonsaysso in their podcast episode about preparing kids for social media and the internet. These tricky topics can include explicit content like pornography, illegal substances, unattainable beauty standards brought on by frighteningly distorted filters, or incidences of bullying and violence. We want our teenagers to feel “Hey, this doesn’t feel right. Let me talk to my parents about this.” Dr. Becky cautions parents against shaming their kids for being curious about these topics because then our teenagers will be more likely to hide and sneak around with what they are engaging with on technology. Talking about these taboo topics, especially at an early age, destigmatizes them and takes away their power and allure. These conversations need to be explicit rather than vague. Dr. Becky gives some good scripts in her podcast to help get you started. # 4 Know How to Restrict Negativity on Social Media No one has your permission to make you feel less than on social media, but so many teenagers don’t realize that and define their self-worth by how many likes, followers, and comments they have. For starters, a lot of social media platforms have restrictions set up in their app. On Instagram, users can limit comments to only their close friends, they can close off their DMs, they can hide the number of likes, they can block unwanted guests, and can even set up parameters that filter out unwanted words from showing up on their comments (fat, stupid, slut, etc). Parents should sit down with kids and put these restrictions into place for all social media apps and install agreed upon parental restrictions on their phones or Ipads. Again, these conversations about these restrictions should come from a place of having an honest conversation rather than one of demanding and guilt. Key Takeaways The internet can be a scary place for parents to allow their teenagers to roam free but by teaching them these four crucial tips, we can make technology more mindful and meaningful for them.
Good luck and comment below some other helpful tips.
Introduction
We are in the throes of the holiday season where our young kids are going to be getting a lot of things handed to them for free. Halloween candy, a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal, and Christmas presents. And nothing is worse than having our kids feel entitled to all of these things without any expression of gratitude. And while, as parents, we want our young kids to say thank you to all of their generous givers, we also want them to experience that warm feeling that swells inside of us when we truly practice gratitude. But that doesn’t come naturally to little kids, we actually have to help our kids practice gratitude. Luckily, I have 5 easy steps parents can do to propel gratitude along. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
Table of Contents
Parents Can Help Their Young Kids Practice Gratitude in 5 Easy Steps
#1. Stop Saying, “Say Thank You.”
I know, I know. I can see your faces all in shock at this one. Up until a few days ago, I was still doing this and then I learned why we shouldn’t, and I am doing my best to change this old habit. Dr. Becky from Good Inside says that gratitude is not a behavior we need to encourage but a feeling. Watch her video here on how she thinks about building gratitude in her kids. When we prompt our kids to say “thank you” over and over again, we are teaching them rote behavior without doing anything to encourage the feeling. Eventually, this forced action can lead to older kids simply forgetting, refusing, or defying their parents' old adage because they never learned how to feel gratitude. They simply think what is given to them is expected. I also just want to add that telling your kids to say “thank you” while also teaching them the feeling is OKAY and works.
#2. Notice Moments of Gratitude
Instead of telling our young kids to say “thank you,” Dr. Becky suggests stopping and pausing to notice moments of gratitude in your life. This could look like this in your household... Situation 1: You are all seated around the dinner table, eating a delicious meal. Pause. Say, “Hey everyone, do you know what I just noticed? We are all eating together as a family. This feels so nice. We have food. We are all laughing. I am so thankful for this.” Situation 2: You and your kid are out for a walk. Pause. Say, “Hey, let’s take a moment to just stop and look around. The fall leaves are so pretty. The sun feels so good on our skin. You have a jacket to keep you warm. You are having so much fun riding your bike, and the shoes you are wearing are really helping you pedal fast. I love moments spent with you like this. I’m so thankful.” Now, your kids are noticing those moments that feel good and begin to connect future experiences like these ones with a feeling of gratitude. Dr. Becky also cautions parents that now isn’t the time to lecture kids on how some kids don’t have all of these things. She states that over time the more kids notice our slowing down to acknowledge a good feeling, the more likely they will do the same in the future. 
#3. Model Gratitude
Studies have found that grateful parents raise grateful children. That means you want them to catch you expressing gratitude. Whether it be saying thank you to your husband for cleaning up the kitchen or thanking the cashier at checkout, you want your child to notice your gratitude. I’m a big fan of thank you notes and a gratitude journal. Therefore, I definitely want my child to see my writing these notes and jotting in my journal. This can be simply done like this: Situation 1: At Target. Hmm, I’m looking at my list of what I need. Ohh, I need to get some thank you notes to write to all the people who gave you a gift at your birthday party. It was so nice of them to get you all those great gifts! You love playing with your new presents. Do you want to help me pick some out, and we can write them together at home? Situation 2: Before breakfast While you play before breakfast, I’m going to do part of my morning routine. I like to write down four things I am thankful for. Let’s see. I am thankful for...a,b,c, and d Your kids will pick up on all the ways you express gratitude and begin to practice what you do. Also, be sure to thank your children too!
#4. Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude with your kids is similar to modeling gratitude, but this time you are going to involve your kids in doing some of the work. Like most things we learn, practice helps build a skill. Here are three ways to practice gratitude with your kids. a.) Ask them questions: When you are stopping and pausing to notice gratitude, ask your kids how they feel in the moment too. Ask them what they are thankful for before bed. Ask them who they are thankful for each day. Your kids might not be able to answer right away, especially if they are still young. But just by asking and then pausing to allow them to answer is enough to start getting their wheels turning about gratitude. If they don’t answer after an appropriate wait time, help them out with a few options. We went to the park today. That was fun. Maybe you are thankful for that. You got to play with your trains at grandma’s house. You could be grateful for that. Before long, they will be answering on their own. b.) Write thank you letters Involve them in “writing” letters to people they are thankful for. These letters can be to family members, friends, teachers, and service members (firefighters, police officers, mail carriers, the military, etc). Explain why you are doing this, do it, and then send them out. c.) Use pretend play Use stuffed animals, toys, or imagination to practice gratitude. For example, pretend to have a birthday party for one of your kid’s stuffed animals. Bunny will open presents and practice saying thank you to his guests for his gifts even if he doesn’t like them. Also, you can have your kids practice trick-or-treating before Halloween and have them say thank you for getting candy. Planting seeds of kindness through make-believe will give your children the tools necessary to handle situations where they need to practice gratitude on their own. 
#5 Point Out Gratitude
The last one is simple and summarizes everything up. Whenever you see gratitude in books, on TV, and in real life, point it out to your kids. That’s it.
Final Thoughts
Gratitude is so important, but it isn’t something you want to force upon your kids. Remember gratitude is more than a behavior. It’s a feeling we want kids to experience inside of them. This feeling is the way in which we will build long-lasting practices of gratitude with our kids that they will carry long into adulthood. The biggest takeaway is taking the time as a parent to pause and notice those feelings of gratitude with your kids. And before long, your heart will be melted as your kid says a sweet little thank you all on his own.
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Main Keyword: 2-3 Year Old Gifts
Related Keywords: 2-3 year olds, toddlers, preschoolers, Christmas, gift ideas, parents Targeted Audience: Parents of toddlers and preschoolers
10 Gift Ideas to Get 2-3 Year Olds For Christmas That Won't Annoy Parents
Introduction
My son’s birthday follows Christmas, so we get a lot of gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. While I appreciate their sentiment behind those gifts, I DO NOT want annoying, plastic toys that blink, flash, yell, sing, and get under my skin anymore. I’m preaching this from the mountain. Not only are these toys annoying for parents, they don’t serve much of a purpose besides mesmerizing and entertaining your toddler into a stupor for a brief moment. Oftentimes, these toys are cool for a month or two. Your 2-3 year olds get bored of these toys quickly and do little to help foster their imaginations. They do all the work for your little ones. What we want people to get our kids are open-ended toys, meaning toys that grow with our 2-3 year olds and help our toddlers use their imaginations and creativity. They can be used in multiple ways and don’t serve one single purpose (Building blocks vs. a toy helicopter that sings and plays music). Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
10 Gift Ideas to Get 2-3 Year Olds For Christmas That Won't Annoy Parents
In today’s blog post, I have 10 gifts for your toddlers and preschoolers that won’t annoy you as parents. They are educational, fun, and practical.
#1. Hugg-A-Planet with Educational Placemat Map
I am a little biased on this one, but I love geography, and, not to get on my high horse, but believe that we should all have a knowledge of our world. Hugg-a-planet is a soft, plush globe that your 2-3 year olds will love hugging, tossing, and learning from. Pair this with an educational placemat of a map of the world or U.S.A. These gifts will allow for incidental learning to take place, and your toddlers’ natural curiosity will take over as they begin to study and pore over these globes and placemats while they eat, play, and enjoy quiet time in their rooms. These gifts invite discussions at dinnertime and when you are just hanging around in the living room. And what’s great, is that these gifts can last well into the teenage years, serving a purpose.
#2. Magnetic Tiles
This gift is perfect for your 2-3 year olds and even beyond. These magnetic tiles come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They encourage your toddlers to build, create, deconstruct, match, stack, sort, and more while allowing your children to be the drivers behind what they do. They aren’t loud, and they don't even hurt that much when stepped on. Take them outside, play with them inside, or build with them in the car, this gift provides hours of entertainment and brain development.
#3. Kids Carpet Playmat Rug
I like these large rugs because they open up a whole new creative world for your kids. The rug includes roads, a hospital, a school, an airport, and more. Kids can use their toy cars and blocks to build an imaginative city throughout this rug. The mat provides an opportunity for kids to control the narrative and the play.
#4. Wooden Stacking Rocks
These wooden stones are similar to building blocks but have a different allure to them in a way because they are NEW and have a challenging element to them. How high can you balance them? What way should you stack them? Vertical? Horizontal? They also can be used for more than just stacking. Bury them in the sand or dirt to find. Wash them off with soap and water. Sort them by color and shape.
#5. Indoor Teepee
I think there is something magical about an indoor teepee where your toddler can go and camp out for some time. Your 2-3 year olds can have quiet time in the tent to read, color, play, and build. They will want to go in there because they will feel “hidden” and as if they are in their own little world.
EXPERIENCES
As parents, we also want our kids to have experiences that build long-lasting memories and connections. I love these as gifts for Christmas.
#6. Swim Lessons
When my parents gave my son swim lessons for Christmas, I would dread going each night, but when I got there, I realized how much I loved experiencing this with my son. I have fond memories of connecting with my son during these times. He was being active, learning a necessary skill, socializing with his peers, and having special time with mommy. I wouldn’t trade our time practicing “fast feet” in the water and our locker room conversations for anything. 
#7. Memberships
I highly recommend a membership to a kids museum or zoo. My parents got us a membership to our local kids museum last Christmas. This whole year, especially when it was too hot outside, we would head there for an hour or two. He would have a blast. Since my son is still a toddler, he didn’t yet run from one section to the next. He preferred to play in one spot while I parked my behind on one of the many seats or benches and would read a book or just soak up the joy he had from being there. 
#8. Weekend Getaway
A weekend getaway can be as elaborate as a trip to the mountains or an indoor water park to as simple as a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa with tons of sugar and TV. This gift is all in the presentation and how you hype it up when your 2-3 year olds open it on Christmas. Print out a coupon or gift certificate with what the weekend getaway will be and wrap it in a “special” box in which your child will open up last. Say that this is a “magical” gift consisting of many memories. Then, talk about the importance of memories. Use a whisper voice which will trigger to your toddler that this gift is important. And then enjoy the weekend getaway whether you are the one staying behind or going with your child. 
#9. A Year in Review Photo Album
I did this for my son’s first year. It was more of a gift for me than him since he was still a baby, but now he likes looking back on it and pointing out all the people in the pictures. This is a fun gift to do every year for the family, but especially for 2-3 year olds as you are building language in them and helping them make connections. Flip through the photo album with your toddlers and reflect back on the memories of the past year. Ask questions to see what they recall. Let them keep this album in their room to “show off.” Having these each year will be so much fun to look back upon when the kids are older.
#10. The Henry’s Hiccups Experience
Supplemental to my book, Henry's Hiccups, The Henry's Hiccups Language Experience offers the following:
10 Modules found in the Henry's Hiccups Language Experience.
Perfect for teaching your kids the full language experience. 
Final Thoughts
Remember this. You do not need to get your child the latest and greatest toys. The greatest gifts you can get your children are the ones that build memories and connection and encourage little ones to use their imagination. Sign up for my checklists to help you with life's hard moments.
As a mom, I much prefer to be on the offensive rather than on the defensive when it comes to my child’s behavior. Instead of managing meltdowns all day long, we try our best to green light our son’s positive behavior in order to prevent tantrums from happening frequently.
This is especially true when taking my son to church. I have noticed that when I do not use green-lighting tactics, my son will spend the time trying to run away, throwing toys, talking loudly, and whining to get out of the pew. The whole hour in church is an epic fail and I spend the majority of the hour defusing meltdowns and playing cleanup. This post originally appeared on A Fine Parent. On the other hand, when I take steps to green light positive behavior in church, I have a toddler who (mostly) sits and quietly plays with the toys and books we bring to entertain him. What do I mean by green lighting? It means that we use positive parenting strategies to promote positive behavior. Dr. Karp’s book, Happiest Toddler on the Block, first introduced me to this strategy. Green lighting behaviors encourages children to:
When using green lighting consistently, misbehaviors and tantrums decrease and are much more manageable. Do I have your curiosity yet? Read on to learn about 10 simple ways to green light positive behavior!
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
#1: Fill Up Your Child’s Attention Cup
#1: Fill Up Your Child’s Attention Cup Children often act out because they want attention; and if they don’t think they can get positive attention, then negative attention may be the next best option.
Mommy’s not paying attention to me. But every time I cry or throw something, she comes to me. I’ll keep doing that. To make sure that that doesn’t happen, fill up their attention cup by using time-ins or special time. Time-ins are a short amount of time that parents spend distraction free (no phones or TVs) with their child. It is surprising how just 5-10 minutes of undivided attention a few times a day can make a difference. When I am not at work, I like to do time-ins when I wake my son, after breakfast, before nap, in the afternoon, and before bed. These time-ins are nothing fancy and can simply be 5-20 minutes of being by my son’s side, reading a book, or playing with him without distractions. Of course we can all be busy at times and that’s okay! For parents who work or have multiple children, creating a visual schedule of when you are available for special time can be helpful. Red means Mommy or Daddy are not available, yellow is a maybe, green is good to go! Your child will know what to expect and that his attention cup will get filled up, decreasing the likelihood that he will act out.
#2: Allow for Plenty of Opportunities to Play
Play is so important for children. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics play:
That doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t play with their kids. In fact, Dr. John Delony of the Dr. John Delony podcast, says that play is a great way to build connections even with older children. It is best if parents let their kids take the lead and avoid bombarding them with question after question about what they are doing. Instead the CDC recommends actively listening to your child and describing your child’s behavior and what they are doing. Wow! You built a ramp for your cars and are making them go fast down the ramp. Can I have a try? Dr. Karp recommends three types of play every day:
#3: Provide Consistent Praise
Catch your children doing something good and tell them!
Wow! You drew that picture all by yourself? How’d you think of that? I liked the way you behaved in the store. How do you feel about that? You went to the bathroom in the potty! Yay! Good job. Praising your children for behavior you want to see happen will green light that behavior in the future. The right kind of praise can be tricky to navigate. But try to remember to praise effort, not talent. For example, instead of “You’re amazing. What a great artist you are!” try saying, “Wow, you worked really hard on that painting. Tell me about it.” With the right kind of consistent praise, your child will be confident in continuing his positive behavior, even in the face of adversity.
#4: Gossip About Your Child
While gossiping may bring to mind a negative picture, it can be a positive way to green light behavior. Young children eat this up! What you want to do is gossip about your child, but not behind their back! You want your child to actually hear you talk about them.
Magnify your gossiping by being as non-discreet as possible. You can cup your hands to your mouth with the dramatic flair of a whisper, yet make your volume loud enough for your child to hear. You may want to gossip to Dad or a sibling; but if another person is not available then a stuffed animal or toy will work just as well! Instead of gossiping about bad behavior, you want to focus on the positive behavior your children are doing throughout the day. Psstttt, Daddy, guess what your son did today? He helped pick up his toys when Mr. Dinger went off. I didn’t even have to ask. He picked them all up by himself! I was so proud and so was he. Gossiping greenlights this positive behavior to continue. When your children overhear about what they are doing right, it makes them feel good and want to continue just like when adults overhear someone saying something nice about them.
#5: Give Little Rewards
Dr. Karp also discusses the idea of little rewards to encourage positive behavior. He cautions that rewards are not the same as bribery. Bribery is used to discourage bad behavior while rewards are used to encourage positive behavior.
Here’s how little rewards work (using the example of wanting your child to cooperate when it comes to bed time):
Keep in mind that the reward doesn’t need to be tangible. It can be a time-in, playing a game with your toddler, playful roughhousing, or reading a book. It’s also important to back up little rewards with praise; never underestimate how much praise means to your child!
#6: Use Positive Behavior Charts
Similar to providing rewards, using positive reinforcement is a good way to increase positive behaviors. As children (especially young children) are often visual learners and thrive when provided with visual support, charts and checklists can be hugely beneficial.
This can look like the following:
Everytime your child engages in a behavior that you want to see continue, give them a sticker, stamp, or hand check. As the parent, you can decide on a prize or reward for reaching a certain milestone. For example, maybe they need to earn 10 stars a week to be able to watch a movie. It is always best to provide positive reinforcement right after the positive behavior happens, so your child can make a connection that I did this, so I got this. It also helps to get them involved and take ownership for their actions. You did xyz! Go put a sticker on your chart. Yay! How did it feel to earn a sticker?
#7: Connect With Humor
Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine to get a child to cooperate. “Playing the fool,” is a strategy that allows us to connect to our children with humor while encouraging positive behavior. Specifically, parents can utilize “playing the fool” by pretending that they don’t know how to do something.
It’s time to put on your pajamas. Wait, I forget where does your top go? Does it go on your knees? No? Hmmm…does it go on your butt.” No! Ughh please help me. I forget. That is my piece of broccoli. Please don’t touch it. I am going to do one thing first, and when I come back I want to eat it….What! You ate it? You are so tricky and smart. You always win. Using humor or taking the time to laugh and be silly with your child builds connections and makes your child feel safe and confident with you–a gateway to positive behavior.
#8: Practice Patience
Kids aren’t born with the ability to know how to wait. This is a skill that develops from learning and repeated practice.
A quick strategy to help children with patience is “patience stretching.” I started using patience stretching with my son from about 6-8 months old. During patience stretching, I will act like I’m going to give my son something he wants; but just before I hand it to him, I remember that I have to do something first. Here you go, here is your milk. Ohh silly Mommy. I forgot. I need to make sure it’s warm enough first. I will then turn around and count to ten. When I am finished counting, I’ll turn back around and give my son his milk and praise his excellent waiting skills. Good waiting! Here’s your milk now. When using patience stretching to practice this important skill, it can be helpful to implement the strategy at least once a day while slowly increasing the time in which you are asking your child to wait for about a minute. Practicing consistently will make it more likely that waiting skills are generalized to real-life situations.
#9: Create Daily Routines
Children, especially toddlers, like routines. This is for good reason! Routines have been found to:
When we create a day that is predictable for our toddlers, we increase the chances of them having good behavior because they know what to expect. While not every day can be the same, there are ways to input short routines into certain times of the day, such as: In the event that something big and unexpected might happen, we can use a strategy called prep. First introduced to me by my mom and backed up by the popular Instagram account of two toddler experts, Big Little Feelings, prep is when you give children plenty of time and explanation of what is going to happen. A visit to the dentist, an out of town trip, a new baby, or moving out of your house are all things to use prep with to signal to your toddler that something will be different outside of their normal routine. You can read books, role play, or watch a video as a way to prep your child. With both daily routines and prep, children will know what to expect and be on their way to behaving better.
#10: Use Make-Believe
Showing your little ones how to be kind is a great way to green light positive behavior. We can use make-believe (a kid favorite) to model kindness.There are two great ways in which you can be purposeful and creative about planting seeds of kindness:
Planting seeds of kindness through make-believe will give your children the tools necessary to handle conflict and what to do when they feel angry, frustrated, or sad.
Thanks to these 10 simple strategies, we are more often than not being proactive rather than doing damage control with unwanted behavior. Children are much happier when they have tools and strategies for what is expected than when left alone to figure out how they are supposed to act. Give them a try!
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
Take a few minutes to contemplate or journal the following questions:
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents
If any of the strategies above feel like they may be a successful way to green light your child’s behavior, give them a try! In doing so, it can be helpful to keep track of your child’s behavior as a way to measure how well each strategy is working. This may include:
We have all been there. Walking through Target with our toddlers in tow; everything is going well until we have to walk by the toy section.
Your toddler sees a toy he has to have. In my case, it’s a truck. My son wants it and asks for it. Very gently, I tell him that he can’t have a toy today, but it doesn’t seem to matter that I say it kindly and calmly. My son starts reaching out for the toy, whining, and then the tears begin. I can see it written all over his sad little face; he is headed straight for tantrum town. This post originally appeared on A Fine Parent. Here’s the thing about tantrums–sometimes they are absolutely unavoidable. Perhaps I warned my son prior to going into the store that we wouldn’t be getting a toy on that trip. Maybe I even told him we could get one next time; or maybe I made the point of singing his favorite song or starting a game of “I Spy†right as we rounded the toy bin aisle. Yet…the tantrum STILL happened. ​ It isn’t our job as parents to make sure our toddlers’ lives are always happy and conflict free. In fact, wanting something that they cannot have is necessary for our young ones to learn how to handle disappointment.
Why Do We Not Want to Give Into Toddler Tantrums?
​As parents, we don’t enjoy seeing our little ones sad and it’s especially unpleasant to see (and deal with) them pitching a fit. When we see our toddler upset, our tendency is to problem solve–and for toddlers, this may mean giving in to the toy or activity they are seeking.
While this might be the road to least resistance, we have to resist the innate urge to swoop in and make everything better by letting go of our boundaries when our toddler scrunches up his face and opens his mouth to let out a big wail. Not giving into these tantrums helps our toddlers with:
​ In my research, I have found 6 effective ways to calm a toddler mid-tantrum. Read on to find out what they are! 
#1: Validate the Magnitude
One evening, my son was sad that his grandma had to leave to go home. He started crying uncontrollably as she tried to walk out the door. I realized at this moment that there were several ways in which I could respond to my son’s reaction. I could:
Another way to frame it that works well with my toddler is to pick two points and gradually stretch those points to be farther and farther apart. ​“Are you as sad as from the tippy-tip of your head down to your itty-bitty toe? Are you that sad? Or are you as sad as the top of the ceiling all the way down to the floor? Are you that sad? Wow! Or are you as sad from the top of the tree where the birds are all the way down to the dirt with the worms? Are you that sad? Are you as sad from way out to the sun all the way back to earth? That sad? That’s really sad!†Usually after one or two distances, my son’s tears subside as he looks at me in curiosity. He’s processing his level of sadness and before long, his tantrum is over. By validating the magnitude, we are letting our toddlers know that we are taking their feelings seriously and telling them that what they are experiencing is a big deal. The result is that our kids feel heard. ​ Another benefit, according to Dr. Becky, is that we are taking something abstract (the feeling) and making it concrete, which is less confusing to toddlers. Our toddlers feel seen and understood, and that may be all they need to calm down.
#2: You Didn’t Want That to Happen
Another strategy I learned from Dr. Becky is to emphasize how much you know your child didn’t want something (the thing they are upset about) to happen.
“Your toy broke. Wow. You didn’t want that to happen. That stinks.†The phrase “you didn’t want to happen†works so wonderfully in the moment compared to phrases like, “Next time, you need to be careful with your toys.†Think about how we feel when something bad or annoying happens to us. For example, we are rushing to load the dishwasher and grabbing too many dishes at once in our rush to load it. While unloading, we drop a dish and it shatters into a million pieces. What would we prefer our spouse say to us at that moment?
​ Our kids feel the same way. Lectures and advice can come later, when our child has calmed down. For now, during the tantrum, we can just simply say, “You didn’t want that to happen, did you?†​
#3: Use Sign Language
​Younger kids can have a hard time understanding abstract ideas and feelings. That’s where sign language comes into play.
I have started teaching my son signs for his feelings. Without a visual representation for their feelings, toddlers can be left feeling confused and frustrated by their inability to communicate the big emotions they are experiencing. This powerlessness eventually leads to a tantrum or meltdown. Research has also shown that sign language can help calm a child in a stressful situation and that children can often learn the sign for a word before the actual verbal word. My son now has a way to communicate and identify his feelings for the next time a situation arises. Instead of crying, he can say or sign that he’s sad, angry, scared, etc. I often sign the feeling in the moment in which my son or I are actually experiencing that feeling, including when my son is having a tantrum. For example, when my son is sad that TV time is over, he will often start crying and whining. I will repeatedly identify the feeling my son may be experiencing and back it up with the sign. “You are sad, sad, sad [signing the word sad over and over with exaggerated facial expressions]. It’s okay to be sad [Sign sad again]. But the dinger rang, and it’s time for bed. You can help me pick out a book to read.†​ ASL Nook, run by a Deaf family, has videos that teach kids their emotions and is a great resource for anyone wanting to learn sign language.
#4: Become a Broadcaster
I first heard of this strategy in Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Toddler on the Block book. The premise behind it is to narrate and mimic your child’s emotions like a football broadcaster would do while calling a game.
Instead of immediately jumping in with our adult voice of reason (“No, I am sorry. We can’t have any TV now.â€), we can get on our child’s level and echo our kid’s feelings (Dr. Karp recommends repeating back with one-third of their level so as not to appear sarcastic or overdoing it). “TV, TV. You want TV now, now, now! You are sad! You are stomping your feet. You want TV! TV! Now. You want TV, now.†​ Doing this can stop our child’s tantrum in seconds because our toddler feels seen and heard. It may also be helpful to pair this tactic with the sign language mentioned in the previous section!
#5: Redirect
Once our child has started to settle down a bit (before they are fully recovered), we can use redirection to help them refocus on what they can do instead. Toddlers are told “no†often; so now we want to focus on the “yes.â€
Redirection can look like this: “TV time is over. But we can read THREE fun books together. Maybe some of your favorites. C’mon, you can help me pick them out.†The point is to take their minds off what they can’t have in the moment and shift to what they can do instead. Another way to redirect is to act the fool–a strategy by Dr. Karp. “TV time is over. I know that makes you sad. But can you help me with your bedtime routine? I forget how to do it. Hmm…do we first brush your toes? Do I bathe you in dirty mud? No, that can’t be right. Pleeasssseeeeee. I need your help!†​ This example of redirection will affirm how smart they are, build their confidence and instantly take their minds off wanting TV. It’s a major win for all! 
#6: Magic Breaths
I have heard of Magic Breaths (slow deep breathing) from a few places, including Dr. Karp’s book and the children’s show Daniel Tiger. My son and I practice magic breaths every night before bed, when my son is calm and focused. The point is to teach them in a calm moment so they can be used successfully during a tantrum.
When my son is having a tantrum and I get the feeling that he wants to hit or throw something, I will take his hand and place it by the top of his head. I will say “Magic Breath†and together we will take a deep breath, as I move his hand slightly lower. We will do this four times until his hand returns back to its normal position. ​ As our children get older, we can move from doing Magic Breaths with our children to reminding them about Magic Breaths when we sense their anger rising. In education, we call this shift the gradual release of responsibility; the purpose being to move from modeling, to reminding, to being able to do independently without prompting. Magic Breaths can always be part of our child’s toolkit, even as they grow older.
With these 6 strategies, we can breathe a sigh of relief the next time our toddler has the inevitable tantrum. Instead of feeling helpless and out of control like our toddlers, we have research-based, proven to work strategies that will calm the meltdown.
The next time your toddler starts gearing up for a breakdown, run through this list and find one that works for you and your toddler. ​ You got this!
The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents
​ Here are some questions to contemplate as you take a few minutes to assess how you currently react to your toddler’s tantrums:
The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents As you move forward in seeking how best to use tantrums as an opportunity for your child to grow and learn, it may be helpful to assess where you are now so you can compare it to where you will be! Here is one helpful way to monitor long-term progress:
I have been a teacher for 11 years now. I have my Master’s in Reading Education. Teaching literacy is a passion of mine. I get giddy going to Reading and Literacy workshops because I know I’ll leave with a new idea and strategy to take back to my classroom.
And since I became a mom, ideas for my son to do at home. In today’s blog, I will break down 5 literacy activities that I am doing right now in my classroom that you, as parents, can easily do in your own home. For each activity, I will list the materials needed and the age range for the activity. Spoiler alert: I teach deaf and hard-of-hearing students at the high school level. My students have a wide range of reading and language levels, but one thing that is all the same is that they ACTUALLY like these activities. I know, mouth wide open emoji. Teenagers actually liking something. #gross. But, they have asked me to do these activities each week. And that’s when you know you have a good literacy activity on your hand, folks. Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy. 
So Without Further Ado….the 5 Literacy Activities
I saw this on Instagram from @thedimpledteacher and loved it. What is it? It is basically whiteboard sticky paper that you can place on the wall and use dry erase markers to scribble all over it. How am I using it? Kids love doodling and writing all over the board. I know I did when I was in school. Each month I have a topic or question displayed on the top, and students are invited to answer the question in the form of pictures, words, etc. They even can go up during free time to “graffiti” all over the paper. How to use it at home? Now, your little ones will be allowed to actually write all over the wall with this activity! Invite your kids to answer a question of the week or practice their ABCs or numbers. Or use the graffiti wall to do one of Busy Toddler’s activities or Days With Grey’s breakfast invitations. Or use it for kids to practice their spelling lists or hand writing. Or, or, or... Kids will like the novelty of “writing on the wall” and will be more willing to participate in whatever literacy activity you plan for them. Age Range? Any age!
2. Shades of Meaning
I first learned of this in a literacy workshop a few years ago. My students love this activity and hope your kids do as well. What is it? Find paint chip samples at any hardware store. I gather up a large variety of colors. Give your kids three words that mean roughly the same thing. How am I using it? They are going to reason through these three words and decide which has the strongest meaning and which has the weakest meaning. The word with the strongest meaning goes on the darkest shade, and the word with the weakest meaning goes on the lightest shade. For example, I will give my students the words ‘declare’, ‘say’, and ‘announce.’ My students will discuss in partners which one carries the strongest weight and makes more of an impact. Eventually, they determine that declare is the strongest word, announce goes in the meaning, and say is the weakest. I will ask for the train of thought and tell them that I agree with them. Finally, I will encourage them to use their strong words in writing and speech instead of always choosing weak words. How to use it at home? You can use it exactly as I use it or you can create your own spin to it. You can give your kids groups of three words, and they will have to rank which they like from least to best. Or smallest to largest. Or youngest to oldest. Or, or, or again. I would do this activity at the kitchen table or desk while you have to get something done but are still able to converse with them. Have your groups of three words and paint samples laid out on the table, explain the activity and model how to do one, and then go fix dinner or fold the laundry or heck even sit and sip coffee while they devour up this activity. Additionally, the paint chips make a cute decoration to your child’s room or playroom. I display mine around my classroom and it adds color and fun to the, otherwise, drab walls. Plus, they are a form of reference. Age Range? Kids should have the ability to read and copy down the words they see, so this could vary among kids. My suggestion is 6 and above.
3. Word Wall
I have been using a word wall in my classroom for 8 years now, and they have made a difference in my students’ vocabulary development. What is it? A display of talked about, important words that your students should know and remember. How am I using it? Our weekly vocabulary words, affixes, and idioms are displayed on the word wall for the whole year. Also, any word that we talk about that my students don’t know and that I deem important goes up on the word wall. Now, students have a frame of reference for these words. They can always see them, so the words are on the forefront of their minds. I also color code them, so the nouns are all one color, adjectives a different one, and the verbs a third color. How to use it at home? Anytime you talk about an important word in your family, put it up on the word wall (you can use the same paper for the graffiti wall). For your younger kids, you can have them print out a picture to go with the word. I would search Pinterest for different ways to display your word wall. But mine is just simple. Make sure your word wall is somewhere where your kids can see frequently. Age Range? Any age. 
4. PQRST
P = prefix. QR = queen root. S = suffix. T=total. I am a big fan of morphology and derivation. To get into the nitty gritty of morphological analysis, you can read my case study that I did on it in grad school here. What is it? PQRST is the process of teaching kids that words have smaller bits of meaning in them. And knowing the meaning of these morphemes helps determine the overall meaning of a word. How am I using it? First, I teach a weekly prefix, suffix, or root weekly, so students who have had me for 4 years get approximately 80 affixes directly taught to them. And, of course, they are exposed to more indirectly. Second, I teach them the PQRST strategy through direct instruction and modeling. I teach them that a lot of words can be broken down into a prefix (p), queen root (qr), and suffix (s). After identifying those morphemes, they are taught to find the meaning of each. Lastly, they are taught to add those smaller definitions together to form one total (T) definition that makes sense in context. Students love practicing with PQRST and my enthusiasm for the matter makes them love it more. How to use it at home? I would use your large graffiti wall to draw the diagram for PQRST (see picture below). Together, you can search for words to break down together. Or this can be a breakfast invitation or something you set up when you need to get ready. Or this can be a weekly homework activity. Or, or, or. Your kids will love this especially if they are able to use the big whiteboard paper. Age Range? 7-8 and above. 
5. Reading Chart
“Reading is to the mind as what exercise is to the body.” Get your kids reading. What is it? A reading chart is simple. It’s a list of books your students read. You can add extras to it if you like. How am I using it? Anytime my students read a book, they are to write it on a sheet of paper. Then, I have them answer some questions on a little piece of colored paper that I then display around the reading chart. The purpose is to highlight reading for pleasure with this no pressure activity. How to use it at home? I would use it the same way that I am doing. But maybe add some incentives. If your kids read so many books, they get something. I would also implement SSR (sustained silent reading) in your household. A time when your kids and you pick up a book and just read for 15-20 minutes. Set up a cozy reading corner and play soft music to set the mood. SSR is especially good for teenagers. Head to my website to see what I am reading or head to my teacher website to see the best books for teenagers. Age Range? You can do this at any age. But before your kids can read on their own, you will need to read the books to them and help them fill out the reading chart. 
There you have it! 5 literacy activities you can try at home today. Just remember that literacy activities at home should be low pressure and fun. We don’t want our kids losing their love for reading.
Have fun! 
We are at that age when my son has a lot of BIG feelings. And as a parent, my role is to be there to make sure he isn’t navigating these emotions alone.
Clinical psychologist and mom of three, Dr. Becky from Good Inside, says that oftentimes toddlers don’t find the actual feeling scary, but have a hard time when they think they are ALONE with the feeling. That’s when they might act out - hit, scream, throw, bite. It’s during those times when they are having trouble identifying and regulating those BIG feelings. So the best thing we can do as parents is to consistently talk about their feelings and give them names for what they are experiencing daily. Not only do we have to talk about their feelings, but we need to show them and help them practice identifying and regulating their emotions. To do this, you don’t need a fancy subscription to a Feelings Toolkit or the most expensive product advertised on social media. All you need are products found around your house or the local library to help you get started with teaching your toddlers about their feelings.
Lauren Barrett Writes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read more about these links in my disclosure policy.
The 5 Best Products - Let’s Go
1. A Mirror
Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the happiest of them all? It’s you! That’s right, a mirror is a great way to teach about feelings. Break out a small handheld mirror and get to work on making faces for each feeling with your little one. All those mirror selfies will come in handy for this one. Hold the mirror up to your toddler's face and say, “Show me your sad face.” Together, make your most exaggerated sad face. For added teaching moments, give a scenario followed by what face you would make if that situation actually happened. “Your ice cream cone dropped to the floor. Oh no! Show me your sad face.” “You got a new toy for your birthday. Yay! Show me your happy face.” This works wonders because your toddler not only sees you modeling situations and the faces you make, but he can see his own face too and recognize what his emotions look like. You’ll have a blast with this one. 
2. Books
Books are one of the best ways to teach little kids about their feelings. You can either buy a book directly related to teaching emotions or read any book and point out the character’s feelings. Ask wh- questions as you read. No worries if your child is too young to answer back. Ask the question. Wait. And then answer for your toddler. Who is feeling sad? What happened to the boy? Why do you think he is so happy? _______ happened. How do you think that makes her feel? _______________ happened. What do you think will happen next? Some of the books I like related to feelings are…
3. Dolls/Stuffed Animals
Every kid probably has a handful of dolls and stuffed animals lying around. In fact, we got our son a little stuffed doll that looks like him that we named Lil’ Hen. Use these dolls or stuffed animals to act out situations. For example, Henry has been potty training, and he has been a little (and by a little I mean very) afraid of pooping on the toilet. I use his Lil’ Hen doll or favorite stuffed animal (Mr. Penguin) to act out trying to poop on the toilet. I talk about how they were scared beforehand but afterwards felt proud. Henry watches me act out these scenarios with fascination. If your toddler has been having an issue with hitting or biting, act it out with stuffed animals. Have one get angry and hit the other. Then, talk through how the animal that got hit would feel afterwards. I really like the stuffed animal WhatsItsFace because you can change the face of the animal to match the emotion. It has a happy, angry, sad, surprised, sleepy, and excited face. Act out each of these emotions and have your children find the face to match. As your kids grow, they can act out situations to match the face. Let your creativity loose with stuffed animals and dolls when it comes to emotions.
4. Markers and Construction Paper
Break out the markers and construction paper and draw different faces with different emotions. Point them out and have your toddler guess which feeling the face is conveying. You can even teach them that different colors convey emotions. For example, angrily scribble red lines everywhere and explain how red can mean anger. Or use green to represent envy or disgust. Then, let your little one take over with the markers and paper. You can give them prompts like: “How would you draw someone who is sad?” or let them have free reign. But whatever you do, do not correct them or tell them what to draw. There is no right or wrong here.
5. Music
Using music to teach emotions might be a little advanced for younger toddlers to truly grasp, but it is a great teaching method to help them understand the abstractness of feelings. Play different tempos of music and talk about what emotions they represent. For example, a head-banging, heavy metal tune could mean anger while the gentle flow of a babbling brook can mean peaceful, content, happy. Next, allow your children to make their own music with real instruments or makeshift ones. Banging loudly on pots of pans can be used to convey fury or anger. Just like with the markers, let your kids take over with this one.
Wrapping It Up
Whichever way you decide to use, remember that there is no wrong way to teach emotions as long as you are talking about them consistently and truthfully. Discovering their feelings is BIG for toddlers, and they don’t want to be left alone with them. Start by talking about them once a day or pick one of these methods to try each day. You don’t have to spend hours discussing feelings at length. Just 5-10 minutes here and there. You’ll discover a big difference once you all start talking about them more. A happier kid with more positive behaviors. For a video on how I am using sign language to teach emotions click here. And for the checklists I use when my toddlers have BIG emotions click here.
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Photo used under Creative Commons from does_not_travel_often
