Doug Wanoy's Confessions, Part II

2/28/2024

It’s no secret that Doug Wanoy’s usual rambunctious chatter on the Twitterverse (X) has been back in full force after the untimely passing of his beautiful wife of 38 years. I just took a quick peek myself and was delighted to find that he has been rampantly spewing nonsense for many weeks now.

However, I noticed something was amiss in Doug’s titillating tweets.

To the naked eye, one would most likely assume that Doug was being his usual cheeky, provocative, and antagonistic self.

But to someone well-versed in Dougology, I could sense something much deeper. Something awry. Doug was hiding something....again.

THE SUPER BOWL HAPPENS

On February 11the Super Bowl happens, and America tunes in for Taylor, touchdowns, and turnt up 30-40 year old moms watching Usher.

In Raleigh, North Carolina, Doug Wanoy also tunes in.

While a lot of people had different takeaways from the big game, Doug had an obscure one.

Usher’s Confessions burned a hole right through his heart.

“O.M.G. Usher, you reminded me of something I did wrong. I got it [the thing he damaged] bad. Yeah! I need to come clean. These are my confessions…”

DOUG’S TWEETS CHANGE

After Doug’s guilty conscience stirred from the Super Bowl halftime show, his Tweets took on a peculiar pattern - a literary allegory if you will.

Being his daughter, I noticed the change in his Tweeting style, but even some of his more hardcore fans took notice.

For those of you who don’t have experience in the Bauer art of subliminal messaging, let me break it down for you.

Since the Super Bowl, Doug has basically only been Tweeting about three things.

C-LIST CELEBRITIES

The first category which Doug brought front and center was C-List celebrities. He became increasingly fond of Jackson Mahomes and his poor treatment by Taylor Swift, an A-list celebrity.

Never mind that Doug’s Tweet didn’t make any sense as the incident that Doug was documentating happened before the Super Bowl with Taylor Swift not even present at said event. He also referred to Brittany has Tiffany, but that is neither here nor there.

I know what message Doug was trying to convey - the all too familiar trope of the underdog.

In Doug’s eyes - Taylor Swift, the big, bad, popular bully, squares up against Jackson Mahomes, our C-list, less popular hero.

In Doug’s world, Taylor Swift represents my dear mom who, I wouldn’t go as far to say was bully, but she did sometimes get exasperated with Doug’s clueless ways and blunders. Jackson is a symbol for Doug who just wants to be accepted and do right in my mom’s eyes.

ANDROGYNOUS PEOPLE

Our next category Doug becomes enamored with is adrogynous people. He makes two Tweets about women’s basketball players, and then even goes as far as to Tweet the word androgynous.

The thematic concept of these trio of Tweets is that things don’t always appear on the surface as they do on the inside.

Here, I believe what Doug is trying to tell us that he did something. On the outside it appears differently than Doug’s truer, deeper intentions.

REPOSTING

Our last category shows us that Doug is reposting a lot of content. The repetition of the reposting of other people’s and his own content is a tactic used by authors to create one of the following:

Emphasis: Repetition can help readers consider the meaning of a word or phrase more deeply. It can also help authors create memorable text and emphasize the importance of a concept or idea.
Rhythm: Repetition can create rhythm and a sense of urgency.
Themes: Authors often repeat words or phrases that are relevant to the larger piece. This can help reinforce themes and motifs in the reader's mind.

Doug is emphasizing the idea that his confession has to do with something in his own possession and something in someone else’s possession. Doug is also creating a rhythm to highlight his urgency to confess. Doug is also sharing the theme that although he has repeatedly messed up, he ultimately tries to make things right and is working on being a better person.

DOUG’S CONFESSION

C-List celebrities.
Androgynous people.
Reposting.

What we have here is an acrostic poem with three distinct themes.

In my investigation, I could infer that Doug’s confession has to do with a car. Or rather two cars - my mom’s car and his car.

In our tragic hero’s epic tale, my mom’s car is is the Taylor Swift of cars and my dad’s car is the Jackson Mahome’s of car. My mom’s car was well maintained, shiny, bright, and the one in the spotlight the most. My dad’s car a little less well maintained and always vying for attention. In their household, it was protect my mom’s car at all cost.

One particular day, my dad ran home quickly to grab something from the garage. In his haste, he jumped out of the car, forgetting to put it in park. To his dismay, he turned around to see his car slowing inching its way into the garage where no other than my mom’s car was parked. With herculean strength and speed, Doug sprang into action. He held his car back with all the muscles from his wrestling days and the new ones he has amassed from pickleball. He screamed and screamed for help, but, alas, no one came. This feat of strength proved to be too much for him, and his car dinged my mom’s leaving a dent.

My mom never found out about the dent before she passed away; therefore, we will never know if Doug aimed to blame his grandson, my son, like he was going to do with the stain.

However, we do know that Doug wished to do what was right, and on the outside it appeared differently than Doug’s truer, deeper intentions.

The enormity of what my dad did weighed heavily on his conscience.

He had to spill the beans on the beans.

So, right here, right now, he is asking for your forgiveness. The first step on his path to righteousness and repentance.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry for my sins. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good. I have sinned against you and your church. I firmly intend, with the help of your son, to do penance, and sin no more.”

My goal now is to become a certified sleep and anxiety coach and as part of that I developed a mini STRESS FREE SLEEP email course.

I highly suggest checking it out if you struggle with sleep and panic.

Buy me a coffee if you liked this blog.

And if you're a parent, check out my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Parenting Checklists for Life’s Hard Moments.

Follow Me

Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all people become their best selves and build positive relationships with the people around them. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing, a former cross country coach, a writer/author, and a full time mom to an amazing 4-year old. Lauren is a 3x author, including children’s book,Henry’s Hiccups, and parenting guideNow What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments. She is a blogger atLauren Barrett Writes. Currently, she is grieving her loving mom’s unexpected death and devoting her time to helping people learn about grief, insomnia, and anxiety in honor of her mom. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on her blog and get her free kind for sleep and anxiety, Stress Free Sleep.

0 Comments