The Top 10 Famous Guys I Find the Most Attractive*

9/29/2023

*But Are Not More Attractive Than My Husband and Don't Stir My Loins: A Blog Dedicated to My Mom

This might be my stupidest blog to date, but I'm certainly not above it.

For each blog that I punctiliously pen doesn't always need to be a rung on my stepladder of avarice to earn me merits and accolades from a species of humans who are enamoured with rickets and blue raspberries and armored with knowledge of Violet Beauregarde and Bethany Hamilton (someone literally needs to "arm her").

My prophetic prose need not be suffused with synonymic language that I perused in the thesaurus in order to showcase that I attended the prestigious university of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP).

No, sometimes the blogs that I carefully craft are devoid of worth and are a two-demenstial street view, at best.

Sometime I like to write shallow blogs that objectify men by inserting really bad puns about them and saying stuff that I would never do in real life.

Sometimes, I like to write blogs that are quirky and goofy and a little bit silly. Like me. Tehe. Sue me. 💁🏽‍♀️

This blog is dedicated to my mom who loved shows like The Bachelor/Bachelorette and Love is Blind and who used to love telling me the celebrities that she found "so cute [Simon Peter, the apostle and Will Compton]" but "it's not like they stirred her loins because I'm old and I think that would be a sin, Lauren." 🤢

If I had to hear her say that, so do you.

Without further ado, here are the hunks. *I'm 34-years old for reference.*

We here at Teen's Go Rogue (just like I went rogue with this blog), love a good list.

So break out your pumpkin because things are about to get spicey. Oww Oww.

#10 Travis Kelce, 33 years old

I know, I know. I'm jumping on the bandwagon here.

Three points to clarify...

I knew who Travis Kelce was before Taylor Swift.
I am not a Swiftie, but I'm not not a fan. When her music comes on, I'm pleasantly surprised at how many songs I know and love.
Taylor Swift did cause me to look more into this man.

And...
I like him! Sure, he can be corny, cringey, and even lame, but I can be all of that too.

I'd butt fumble into his tight end all day (Does that even make sense?)

#9 Rupert Grint or Ed Sheeran, 35 and 32 years old

Gingers and British. Yes, please.

One could give me insights into Hogwarts and the other could sing to me "Thinking Out Loud."

I'll take either.

#8 Andrew, the Apostle, 2,013 years old

Yes, Noah James (34) is technically the one who plays Andrew, the Apostle on The Chosen.

But I don't find Noah James attractive, I find Andrew attractive.

How hot would it be to have someone perform miracles for you and heal you?

Headache - healed
Sprained ankle - healed

Plus, Andrew could use a little love. Jesus was always picking Peter, James, and John to do stuff.

Why not Andrew? Peter is his brother.

Andrew is probably the brooding guy with a chip on his shoulder that probably wants to prove how special he is.

#7 Kris Bryant, 31 years old

I love baseball, so I probably could have picked baseball players to make up 90% of my list (Sorry Corey Seager, just like the Rangers, you came close but couldn't quite win it all) , but if I have to choose one it would be this guy. He's a homerun in my books.

#6 Ryan Lochte, 39 years old, not speaking

This hunky bod studmuffin of a man is on my list. Just, watch out, the minute he opens his mouth to speak whatever nonsense he usually sputters, he's off it.

No problem. I'll just teach him a few basic signs and then stare at him. We will get along swimmingly.

#5 Jeremiah Fisher, definitely over 18 years old

Yes, I like The Summer I Turned Pretty. Yes, I'm Team Jelly. Yes, the character Jeremiah Fischer is on my list. Yes, I am a 34 year old woman. No, the actor who plays Jeremiah, Gavin Casalegno (24-years old) is not on my list. There's a difference.

The actor takes way too many artsy, model-like photos that are a turn off.

The character, Jeremiah Fischer (2nd season...1st season he looks like a child), is perfection.

#4 Donald Glover, 40 years old

One of my favorite shows, Community, has one of my favorite characters ever, Troy Barnes who plays another favorite character, Abed Nadir.

"Troy and Abed in the morning."

Much to my delight my husband informed me that Troy is played by Donald Glover who also is the Childish Gambino. The versatility and the good looks on this man are impressive.

#3 Liam Hemsworth, 33 years old

I'm still trying to figure how in The Hunger Games Katniss Everdeen chose Peeta over Gail who is played by the gorgeous Australian hunk, Liam Hemsworth. I was rooting for Miley and him, but in the end, she didn't pick him either.

Well, I do, Liam. I do.

#2 Joey Roppo, 29 years old

So....technically this guy isn't really famous, but he did star alongside his sister in Netflix's hit reality TV show, Dated and Related, that I'm sure everyone has watched.

Actually, the show is terrible and not in a "so bad it's good" way (Like Love on a Leash that I've been begging Kyle to watch for years now). Each person on it was extremely bland, but I looked each one up on Instagram to learn more about them and to see if they had some depth.

Only two people did. Corrina Roppo and her brother Joey Roppo. Joey is an all-American guy. He's an unproblematic basketball player/singer/dancer who loves the Lord and his family and knows how to stay humble and kind.

If Kyle and I were single, I would have signed us up in two winks of a coal miner's eye, and I would have snagged Joey and Kyle, Corrina.

#1 Taylor Zakhar Perez, 31 years old

This guy is what started this whole list.

As I was re-watching the Kissing Booth franchise series with my cousins as one does to marvel at the cinematic masterpiece that it is, I proclaimed that Taylor Zakhar Perez is the most attractive man on this universe* and that no one, and I mean no one, could find me someone more attractive and that *SPOILER ALERT* Elle (Joey King) had the audacity to choose Noah Flynn (too-tall Jacob Elordi) over the Adonis and Greek god that is Marco (Taylor Zakhar Perez) is lightyears beyond my comprehension.

Congratulations, Taylor!

*But not more attractive than my husband

Honorable Mentions

#11 Jonathan Daviss, 23: As one of the stars of Outer Banks, Daviss might be a little young for me, but he can find my treasure any day. 😶

#12 Simu Liu, 34: Beloved for his role on Kim's Convenience and convenient to look at too. Winky face.

#13 Luke Grimes, 39: Don't watch Yellowstone, but I did watch the Beginners Guide to Happiness, and I'll have a wild time with him anytime.

#14 Shaun White, 37, short hair: The 3-time Olympic gold medalist in snowboarding melts my heart.

#15 Steph Curry, 35: I swish you were mine.

#16 Andrew Garfield, 40: Such a sweet guy. We could bond over the loss of our moms in our 30s.

#17: Patrick Mahomes, 28: Sorry, Patty, just like Brittany is to Taylor. You are to Travis. I might actually replace Mahomes with Seager.

#18 Matthew, the Apostle, 2013 (Paras Patal, 37): You can tell me the genealogy of Jesus all day, baby

#19: Thomas Rhett, 33: I could die a happy woman with you.

#20 Derek Theler, 36: The hit star of the hit show, Bab Daddy can be my Baby Daddy anytime.

That's our list, folks. Continue to reading to learn what influencers pack in their bags because I'm sure you would have no idea to pack your own bag without this tutorial.

Buy me a coffee if you liked this blog.

And if you're a parent, check out my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Parenting Checklists for Life’s Hard Moments.

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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing 4-year old. Lauren is a 3x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge, children's book, Henry's Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life's Hard Parenting Moments, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram at @laurenbarrettwrites, and get her free guide on what to do during the middle of a tantrum.

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