Lauren Barrett Writes
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
    • Mom
    • Wife
    • Teacher
    • Coach
    • Writer
    • Reader
  • Travel
  • Shop
    • Antiracism
    • Baby Sleep
    • Must Haves
    • Parenting Books
  • 30 Day Challenge
    • Getting Started
    • Videos
    • Packages
    • Shop
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
    • Mom
    • Wife
    • Teacher
    • Coach
    • Writer
    • Reader
  • Travel
  • Shop
    • Antiracism
    • Baby Sleep
    • Must Haves
    • Parenting Books
  • 30 Day Challenge
    • Getting Started
    • Videos
    • Packages
    • Shop

I Go Back In

8/9/2020

0 Comments

 
“I was in the National Guard, and I was trained with sleep deprivation, and that doesn’t compare to how little sleep you get after having a baby.”

I stared back at my coworker with fear and anxiety in my eyes.

My pregnant belly and I were just passing by in the hallway and in return we got this unsolicited story about how little sleep I would be getting in the first year of my baby’s life. I let out a half-hearted chuckled and made some trite remark,

“So I’ve heard. I am doing all the sleeping I can now.” Then, I walked away and probably sobbed a thousand tears. 

As it turns out, a lot of people like to warn new moms-to-be how drastically their lives will change in the sleep department.

Well-intentioned, I am sure, but as if I didn’t have enough (food) on my plate to begin with, I now decided my life mission was to learn all I could about baby sleep. 

I bought books. I read sleep experts’ blogs. I acquired DVDs. I took classes. I downloaded music guaranteed to soothe a baby. I took detailed notes. I briefed and trained my husband like we were preparing for battle. 

And it worked! Our son was born and immediately we began implementing what we learned.

Sure, we had our fair share of exhausting days and even more exhausting nights, but I could not be more thankful for these sleep experts and all the wisdom they bestowed on us. 

It became a joke in our household. Our son would have a slight hiccup in his sleeping, or his napping would be off.

I would furiously scour the blogs and books, and say, “Well so-and-so says… or (insert sleep expert’s name here) says….” It only took one night of little to no sleep and my husband would be desperately begging to know, “What do the books say?” 

The months ticked on, and as our son grew older, the bedtime routine grew shorter.

One day, he grew out of his swaddle, and no longer was Mommy needed for those precious minutes of wrapping him snuggly up.

Not long after, he learned to self-soothe, and no longer was Mommy needed to pick him back up and rock or bounce him back to sleep. Eventually, he stopped breastfeeding, and Mommy was no longer needed to hold and feed him goodnight.

Now at 18 months, he hands me a book, we read it, say our prayers, sing a song, and I can plop him right down in the crib. We are thrilled with how well the sleeping journey has gone. 

But some nights I hold him just a bit longer. Read to him just a bit more. Sing to him just a bit extra.

And then I put him down and walk out. I stare at the monitor, watching my baby squirm around as he slowly starts to drift off. Longingly, I crave to walk right back into that nursery and rock him to sleep.  

The books and blogs, though, say nothing on this. There is no handbook on what a mom should do when her child no longer needs her to fall asleep.

I glance back at my peaceful baby one more time. And on some nights, perhaps when the house is particularly quiet and the moonlight shines in through the window, I go back in, and I rock.

​And I’m okay with that. 


Picture

Picture
Subscribe
Follow Me
My name is Lauren, and I was born in New Jersey, grew up in West Virginia, went to college in Pennsylvania, and now live and work in North Carolina. I'm a high school teacher of the deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer by night, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. I love my faith, running, watching baseball, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending I would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    September 2017
    June 2017
    January 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge
    Baby
    Blogging
    Life
    Marriage
    Mom
    Parenting
    Pregnancy
    Raleigh
    Running
    Social Justice
    Teacher
    Toddler Eating
    Travel
    Wedding
    Writing

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photo used under Creative Commons from does_not_travel_often