Meet The Sister of kbnoswag of Barstool Sports

​Lauren Barrett

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My brother, Kyle (KBnoswag), and I had a typical sibling relationship. We never fought too much or got out of line.

Well, Kyle d̵i̵d̵ ̵l̵i̵n̵e̵s̵ got out of line from time to time as he provoked me with his wrestling moves, but, overall, our sibling rivalry was kept at bay.

He made claymation movies. I made puppets. He wrestled and played baseball and football. I played basketball and softball and did dance.

​He was a boy. I was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious? There was nothing for us to be competitive with one another.

That was until I reached the 8th grade and Kyle entered the 4th grade when everything came to a blow.

For years geography was my thing. Since the 4th grade I had been nailing the geography test to earn a spot in the school Geography Bee. By the time I reached the 7th grade I was at the height of my popularity and I wasn't too bad in the looks department either as evident from the photo below.

​It came as no surprise, then, on the day of the Geography Bee, while I was rocking a killer hairdo and feeling super confident, that I made it all the way to the final round and earned a second place finish. My parents were so proud. Kyle was in awe of me. Could things get any better? 

My 8th grade year came around. There were whispers and rumors going around the school about whether or not I would win this year. People placed bets. The school newspaper did an article. I had laser sharp focus as I poured over atlases and almanacs. I wasn't invited to any DJ dance birthday parties because everyone knew I had to study. I was ready. 

Meanwhile, Kyle had gained some notoriety being the Geography Bee Runner's Up sister in the 4th grade, and he himself earned a spot in the Geography Bee as well. It was the first time in school history that two siblings would compete against one another in the Geography Bee, and people were pumped to say the least.  

On the day of the Bee, it was a cold, winter's day with ominous gray clouds floating in the air. Kyle had just come inside from recess with the younger grades. I had just wrapped up lunch. It was time. Kyle brushed off the snow from his jacket, and I adjusted my sweater. We took our seats. The moderator rattled off questions. 

A long, narrow, deep inlet typically found in Norway or Iceland. Fjord. Correct.

Capital of Colombia? Bogota. Correct.

Used to measure the magnitude of an earthquake? Richter Scale. Correct

I was hitting left and right. But so was Kyle. He was bobbing. I was weaving. We were performing an intricate dance of archipelagos and atolls.

It came down to the last question. I needed to answer correctly in order to advance to the final round. I don't remember the question. I have blocked it from my cerebellum.

But I do know that I missed it and was knocked out. And Kyle continued on. 
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In the years to come, Kyle dusted the competition like Kyle does. He eventually went on to win the whole dang thing. And that's when I realized that I am simply no KBnoswag.

This pattern continued in our formative years. He railed over everything I did, always outdoing me.

I was a one time individual state champ in track. He was a two time state champion in wrestling.

I ran cross country and track for a division II college. He wrestled for a division I university.

Later on, I started dating and eventually married a black man making us a biracial couple. And, no coke, I mean no joke, he ended up in a biracial relationship a couple years after, except she was black and Asian.

​Like he had the nerve not to just pick one race. He had to outdo me. 

It all came to a culmination a year ago. I have always liked writing as a hobby, but then Kyle goes and lands a job as a blogger at Barstool Sports.

Was I jealous? No, not really. After all, I was making the big bucks as a deaf and hard-of-hearing teacher in North Carolina, a state that pays really well. 

I also took into consideration that he would be writing about sports and would love to interview me or have me write a piece for aspiring athletes.

After all, I was an all-American on our college's indoor track 4 by 4 team (The other three were Jamaican and French)  and  ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ a National Champion.

Currently, I am the head cross country coach for a 4A high school who consistently places in the top 5  ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶6̶ in our conference.

​Securing an interview with me would be gold. But no. Instead KBnoswag writes blogs with subtle cocaine references in them and spends his remaining time trolling the internet. I had been outdone again. 

But now, I have had a baby and written a children's book that I am trying to get published. I have matured and accepted the fact that I am just no KBnoswag. But who nose? Maybe I am. ;-) 

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​Lauren Barrett was born in New Jersey, grew up in West Virginia, went to college in Pennsylvania, and now lives and works in North Carolina. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer by her son's naptimes, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry.