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Burn baby burn

7/22/2018

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Week 10-11

I am about to get vulnerable and slightly deep. I was at an all time low in the pregnancy. The morning sickness had reached it's peak. My stomach hurt. My head ached. I was beyond tired. I had thrown up multiple times. I was feeling what I imagine to be heartburn or something brewing in my lower chest. My appetite was pretty nonexistent. Week 10 was definitely the worst. I was feeling sorry for myself and having thoughts like If I can't even deal with being sick, how am I going to be a mom? There is so much worse happening in the world, and I am complaining about this. I feel so weak. How do other women do this? I can barely cope, and I don't even have to work. What's wrong with me? While those thoughts were milling around in the back of my head, something happened that began to change my perspective.
 
I have always been a big believer in the positive power of prayer. No, I do not think praying will stop bad things from happening. Bad things will still always happen. I do, though, believe prayer will change the way we view, perceive, and look at bad things. The more we pray, the more we can gain positive control of a situation rather than slipping into despair.

So there I was at the airport throwing the ultimate pity party for myself and silently weeping over how I could possibly endure any more weeks of feeling this way. The negative thinking was spinning out of control. That was until I sat down on a random seat in the airport and felt something underneath me. I pulled the object out from under me, and it was a rosary. I teared up, stuck the rosary in my purse, and began to pray and pray and pray until slowly my mind starting shifting. I would love to say that the sickness miraculous disappeared, but it didn't. In fact, it got slightly worse, for when I arrived home after the flight, I puked violently three times. But instead I received something better - the clarity that suffering is a part of life, and there is something meaningful at the end of it.
"What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later."  Romans 8:18
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A brief review of products

Here are some of  the things I tried to relieve the nausea.
  1.  Sea Bands - I am not sure if these work. I don't think they do, but I like to wear them for a comforting and Placebo effect. Grade: B-
  2. Ginger-Yuck, yuck, and more yuck. Everyone has told me to try ginger products. I have. They taste gross, and I don't think they help me. Grade: D-
  3. Gum-Chewing gum seems to get my mind off being sick and gagging. However, if you start chewing gum every time you start to feel sick, you will begin to associate the gum to being sick, and, thus, get more sick. This happened to me. Grade: A- 
  4. Crackers-Putting the cracker in my mouth and sucking all the flavor from it helped me feel slightly better. However, just like with the gum, you can't rely on the crackers every time. Grade: B+ 
  5. Unisom- So this one is kind of paradoxical. I want to feel better during the day, so I can actually get stuff done. While this does alleviate some of the nausea, it is still meant as a sleeping pill, so naturally I crashed hard. Grade: C
  6. Sleep - This works every time. However, sleeping 24/7 isn't always an option. Dang it. Grade: A+ 

Baby's Development

The baby is the size of a Brussels sprout, which have grown on me more since I have moved down South. Just like a Brussels sprout, this baby has grown on me. 
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Dear Sprout and all children who are suffering, 

God, our Father, we pray that you
will protect our children.
Keep them safe from harm and help
them to grow healthy in mind and body.
Give them enough strength to keep their faith in
You, and keep alive their joy in the
Birth of Jesus at Christmas time.

(St. Nicholas Patron of Children)

Love,
​Your parents 

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My face says it all.
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