Welp, the throw up has come. Before now, it was just dry heaving and gagging. But during Week 9, not to get graphic, chunks came out. One time I made it to the toilet. The other time I.did.not. We were in California at this time on our unplanned babymoon, and we packed a lot of things into the day, so by the evening I was whimpering in bed by 9:00. However, I will admit, as tired and sluggish I am to get out of bed, getting out and doing some exercise really distracts me from the sickness and brightens my mood. I highly suggest getting outside for at least a little bit and moving your body. The days I felt the best were when we were hiking in Yosemite, bike riding through San Francisco and over the Golden Gate Bridge, and kayaking in McCovey's Cove. I am gearing up baby to be a runner much to probably James' chagrin. James claims cross country isn't a sport. Please send him hateful messages. So in conclusion, Baby did a bad thing by making me throw up, but baby is forgiven. I think I also have forgiven James. We had a lot of fun on our trip, and he was really caring during my down times.
My one true love. My loyal companion through thick and thin. Why have thy betrayed me? I am talking about water. Water has been my ride or die since day one. I drink little else besides it. I don't like any kind of soda. I don't like coffee. I rarely drink fruit juice. Just water. I crave it all the day. Until now. Pregnancy has completely changed its taste to me. I looked it up and it's a thing that other women have experienced. Some how hormones or whatever is brewing in my body has made me totally not like the taste of water and has made H20 not quench my thirst fully. I either want water ice cold or with mostly ice cubes or no water all together but instead those sugary drinks which I have long campaigned against. All I have to plead to water is, "Baby come back. Any kind of fool could see. There was something in everything about you. Baby come back, you can blame it all on me. I was wrong, and I just can't live without you."
The baby is the size of a kumquat tart. Like what the what? What on God's green earth is a kumquat tart? Sounds like a name kids call each other on the playground. Tina, you fat kumquat tart, eat your dinner. Your mom is a kumquat tart. Is that what you are doing? Ruining my life and freakin' making me look like a kumquat tart. Uhh yes those were Napoleon Dynamite quotes in which I just substituted words for kumquat tart. Try it. It's a really fun, waste of time activity to do while you are in bed with the Morning Sickness.
Dear Kumquat Tart,
I have only one week to milk this fun-sounding name as long as I can. Anywhoozers, I hope you enjoyed your first trip to California. We plan to take you to lots of places with baseball stadiums and National Parks in the future. Kids these days need to darn tootin' get out in nature more and get off there thingamabobs and whooseamawhatsits. I also apologize that we are going to hide Disney World for as long as we can from you, so you might be the only one in your class who has never been. Unpopular opinion alert, we think Disney World is overrated and expensive and much rather deny you any magical joy you can gain from your experience there and make you hike up steep inclines instead to see yet another waterfall. Also, prepare to rarely see the beach because well sand and you have to lug all those sand toys and chairs across the oasis of hot sand after you just spent 10 hours trying to find a parking space that is a mile away. We are only looking out for your best interests. That's a lie. We are 100% thinking about ourselves.
Your selfless mama