10 Sleep Tips to Help Tired Moms Overcome Difficulties With Sleep

Lauren Barrett

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It’s no surprise that society likes to joke about the tired mom. 

TV shows play homage to her by having her mistakenly leave the house in her pajamas, robe, and slippers. Mom buns is now a common phrase. And we’ve all seen memes or pictures of a mom with huge bags under her eyes as she juggles the laundry, her kids pulling her in different directions, and trying to talk on the phone. 

But a tired mom is no laughing matter. Sleep deprivation has serious side effects. 

Difficulties with sleep and insomnia can linger far after the newborn phase.  The tired mom, so weary from the day, collapses on her bed, and the next thing she knows she is unable to fall asleep. It’s frustrating. 

I know because I’ve been there. I struggled with insomnia and sleep anxiety for many months. The rest of my house lay asleep peacefully while I tossed and turned with sheer panic. 

It’s awful, and if you’re going through this, you’re not alone, and I have some tips for you. 

*Update: I wrote this blog before I got real help for my insomnia. Read here for more accurate help when it comes to insomnia. 

*DISCLAIMER: The information and advice in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or other professions. Call your medical or mental health professional, or 911, for all emergencies. Lauren Barrett is not liable for any advice or information provided in this blog. 

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#1 Don’t Eat After 8PM. 
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When we put our head down on the pillow, we don’t want to have to worry about anything other than sleeping. Eating after 8PM can lead to digestive issues that can disrupt our sleeping. 

When I was having trouble with sleep, I didn’t want any external factors to get in the way, so I eliminated eating after 8PM. 

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#2 Limit Drinking
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Despite the classic stereotypes of tired moms “needing” wine to unwind before bed, I learned that drinking alcohol up to four hours before bed can mess with one’s sleep. 

If I did happen to drink, I would limit myself to one glass. Tired moms, there are plenty of other ways to unwind before bed. Don’t let society fool you into thinking that drinking is one of them. 

The best thing for an overwhelmed, stressed out mom is sleep. Let’s not jeopardize it by drinking. 

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#3 Set the Mood

Sleep hygiene is so important for adults and kids too. Just like it’s hard for me to go to sleep right after exercising or being on my phone for a while, I can’t be expected to go to bed after watching a stimulating TV show or vigorously texting. 

That’s why it is so important to set the mood in order to eliminate bedtime struggles. 

Setting the mood can look like this: 

• Dimming all the lights at least a half hour before bed.
  
• Shutting off the TV right before bedtime. 
  
• Lowering the temperature. 
  
• Switching on a calming music from the sound machine. 
  
• Speaking in softer, hushed voices. 
  
• Lowering the volume on all sounds. 
  
• Take a warm shower.
  

By setting the mood, we are preparing ourselves for sleep and getting ourselves to feel tired. 

Even if I find myself getting home late or doing something stimulating later in the evening than normal, I have to take at least a half hour to an hour to unwind out of bed and bedroom. 

Tired moms need that time to be by themselves and have some peace and quiet after the chaos and noise of the day. 

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#4 Avoid Screens after 9PM

There is a big reason why turning off screens after 9PM is the first thing on my list for my Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge. Seeing as sleep is one of, if not the, most important things we can do for our bodies, we need to make sure our bodies are ready for sleep when we go to lie down. 

Screens, especially the blue light from our phones and I-pads, can mess with proper sleep. I find that after scrolling social media or going down a rabbit hole on Wikipedia or texting away with a friend, I have a harder time going to sleep. 

That is why I turn on Do Not Disturb for 9:00 PM-6:00 AM. I like to have at least an hour away from my phone before bed. 

Does this mean that I never check my phone? No. I just don’t engage in any activity that has me staring at it for too long. 

As for TV screens, I like to turn off the TV about a half hour before I go to sleep.

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#5 Take Melatonin ​

I think the research on melatonin can be a little vague at times, but I still like to take 1-2 before bed even if only to serve as a placebo effect. 

I chew these about a half hour before bed and let them work their magic. 

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#6 The Bedroom is for Sleeping

I’ve started to spend less time in my bedroom and my bed is only for sleeping and well…

Research has shown that the more time spent in our bedtime the more sleep difficulties we’ll have later in the night. 

So Moms, get out of your bedrooms. There is no wonder that houses are starting to put more real estate value on outdoor spaces instead of bedrooms. 

After moving into our new house, we even have said that the bedroom will be the last room in the house we make over simply because we hardly spend time there. 

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#7 Find the Good and Take Deep Breaths

A large part surrounding my difficulties sleeping was because I was so anxious about not sleeping. I would be tired, but as soon as I got into bed, I would start worrying and wondering if I would be able to sleep. The more I worried and wondered, the more I couldn’t sleep. It was a vicious cycle. 

For that reason, I had to develop some mindful thinking and meditative practice for bed. For me, that was slowing down my breathing and taking a few deep breaths while I used a strategy called Finding the Good. 

I would go through my day and pick out all the good things that happened. I would also ruminate on the good things of the future. Our minds have been trained to quickly go to all that can go wrong and all the negatives that happened that we have to really work to find the good.

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#8 Take Up Reading or Another Hobby Before Bed

Instead of being on screens before bed, which we know can disrupt sleep, Moms should find some hobby they could do before bed that helps take their minds off any anxiety they have. 

Dooms scrolling on phones is a thing that unfortunately, I myself along with other moms have gotten caught up in. 

Instead I have started reading before bed. 

Other hobbies can be: scrapbooking, writing, knitting, sewing, yoga, and meditating.

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#9 Stick to a Consistent Sleep Schedule

There is no such thing as “catching up on sleep”. Because of that, I try to wake up and go to bed roughly at the same time every night of the week, including weekends. 

Your body will become used to this schedule and, in turn, be more likely to have good quality sleep. 

I know, as a mom, that after the kids go to bed we only have very little precious time to a.) straighten up the house; b.) spend time with our spouse; and c.) spend time alone in “me time.” Because we want to do all that, we might fight to stay awake. This is called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination and women and college students are most affected by it. 

Experts don’t recommend that moms do this because not getting enough sleep for the next day will leave moms trapped in a stressed out cycle. 

Instead go to bed at consistent times and follow my bedtime tips to help the nighttime routine go smoother without so much stalling from your kids and divide those household duties with your spouse by using Fair Play  And finally, don’t be afraid to do chores and cleaning while your kids are awake and give them responsibilities of chores to do.

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#10 Ask Your Doctor for a Pill
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If you are like me, my insomnia got so bad that I had to ask my doctor for a pill. I hadn’t slept in 48 hours (turns out I was being overmedicated for my autoimmune disease - but that is a different story).

The pill worked wonders. I ended up gradually weaning myself off the pills,  (That should be the purpose of most pills that alter your mind chemically) [LINK] but just knowing that I had the pills just in case helped me fall asleep faster and better. 

Sometimes we need that kickstart to help us sleep. And I knew that once I started getting a few decent nights of sleep, my overall physical and mental health would improve drastically. And it did. 

But have a plan to gradually get yourself off the pill by using other holistic sleeping strategies. 

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Whether you’re in the throes of sleep deprivations or just a tired mom who could use a little more sleep, I hope these tips help. 

I really have empathy for people who are having trouble sleeping, and I say a prayer each night for all of you. 

Allowing yourself to get enough sleep is one of the most selfless acts of love you can do for yourself and the people around you. When I get enough sleep, I’m a better mom, wife, teacher, and overall person. 

Happy sleeping! Hope this post wasn’t a snooze fest. 

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Lauren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all parents become their best selves and build positive relationships with their kids through mindful parenting. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing by day, a cross country coach by the afternoon, a writer/author by her son's nap times, and a full time mom to an amazing toddler. Lauren is a 2x author of the Add One-A-Day 30 Day Challenge and children's book, Henry's Hiccups, a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes, and has been published on sites like A Fine Parent, Pregnant Chicken, Pop Sugar, Her View From Home, and Scary Mommy.  She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on Instagram and get her free parenting checklists.