How I, KBNoSwag's Sister, Started Blogging for Barstool Fans

Lauren Barrett

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In the summer of 2023, I was living a simple life. I had just gone on summer break. I had quiet quit Instagram. And I was living in the present moment, taking in nature and the sounds of my son playing nearby at a quaint AirBnB in Columbia, South Carolina.

I prided myself on not being like the rest of my family. My family who was consumed by the internet and the approval and disapproval of Barstool fans. 

At the time, I had a dad whose hobby in retirement was trolling people on Twitter. Very healthy.

I had a brother who went through protocols like Francis went through the Thesaurus and ran through bits and jokes in his head before executing them on his podcasts. Not odd is him at all?

I had a mom….

I vowed never to become like that. I was better than all of them. I ran a modest email list that delivered monthly parenting tips and filled up my Unicorn Space. 

With this spare time on our Congaree/Savannah trip, I decided to log in and fire off a parenting tip about traveling with kids. Tehe. Life was good.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, 
But hundreds of new subscribers bringing good cheer.

I was ecstatic! What had brought them all here? Had they resonated with my sign language tips? Had my suggestions for tantrums finally gone viral? Were my blogs on teaching about feelings starting to pop off? 

I decided to dig deeper. And that’s when I started to notice during my deep dive that the subscribers joining my email list were mostly guy names. And they also had emails like dickass and ilovedonkeys and googoogaga. Uh oh. 

I stalked off in a huff and retrieved my phone from the depths of the cozy cabin. And there on my phone was the text that changed everything. 

My dad had screenshotted a Reddit post showing that some sleuth had found an article I wrote about Kyle nearly four years ago. When trying to read the article on my website, my obnoxious JOIN MY EMAIL LIST pop-ups prompted them to sign up. 

Oh dear, oh dear. This wasn’t good. I panicked. I was an aspiring blogger with high goals to be accomplished in the academic writing field. I had plans to be well-known in the parenting space. Besides, I was also a highly respected teacher with many degrees under my belt. I couldn’t have Barstool fans staining my achievements on my resume. I took the pen seriously, and I would not have silly, little antics that I merely scrawled when I was bored tainting my good name.  

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The Rise of My Blogging

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding, motherfers! I’m no better than the rest of my conniving family. This was excellent. Like everyone else in my household, I plotted a way to spin this to my advantage. 

I read every Reddit comment about my blog and nearly overdosed on dopamine from all the praise. I was addicted. Hook, line, and sink her. Ironically, that’s what was about to happen to me. The internet has a way of raising you up and then sinking you. I was no exception to the rule. 

My brother suggested that I write more about our family because people found it entertaining. I reluctantly concurred. On one hand, I have seen how people have treated Sas, Owen, Kate, and Mook. At first, they are beloved, and then they are detested. 

On the other hand, I had nothing better to do that summer and with our upcoming adoption payment coming up (click on the link for an update on that), I figured out I could squeeze a few dollars out of these guys. 

After all, I have seen how they have so easily and foolishly handed over cash to just buy Untell This Bitch shirts, kiss coins, and to support Nick after he lost Surviving Barstool. I figured they could spare a few change for me.  

I was right. I was pleasantly shocked and grateful for the tips that rolled in after I published two more blogs about my family. 

Doug Wanoy's Coaching Tree 10-Step Protocol

​Has KBNoSwag Always Been a Perfect Boy?

Why wouldn’t I keep this going? 

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​The Fall of My Blogging

But much like Kyle, I was a greedy, greedy girl. I had so many ideas, and I couldn’t get them published fast enough. Also much like Kyle, my blogging process largely follows a similar route to his jokes process: 

• An idea sprouts.
  
• It immediately gets recorded in my Notes App. 
  
• The idea starts to grow. 
  
• Nothing gets written down or typed until most of the blog gets written in my head. 
  
• Only when the blog is figuratively overflowing in my mind, do I start writing it on my computer. 
  
• I write and write until it is all fully out. 
  
• Then, I reread it until I’m satisfied. 
  

I was publishing a new blog every week, and much like I predicted, the tables started to turn. You, turds, began to turn on me. I took it fairly well and only threw one Kyle-like tantrum. I logged off the internet and returned to my simple life, preparing to start the new school year, pleased with the humble amount I had raised from blogging that summer. 

Then, a miracle happened. 

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Do You Believe in Miracles?

My last blog before signing off was about KbNoSwag’s Cocaine Incident: My Mom’s Origin Story. How she being the ultimate momager to Kyle was able to help him spin that little blip into something positive for his career. 

Well, she couldn’t only just help her precious little son. She had to help her precious little daughter as well. 

In a fortuitous turn of events, a peripetia if you will, my sneaky mom died! You clever, little minx, Mommy dearest (ewww I hated writing that line but I had to for literary effect). 

You all came back. You felt sorry for me. You donated more than enough for our adoption. You teared up at my newest blog, The Coma Indicident: My Mom’s End Story, which the timing of was almost too perfect. It paired exquisitely with the Cocaine blog. Chef’s kiss. If I wasn’t so sad at my mom’s passing, I would have been giddy with delight at the literary juxtaposition the two blogs had with one another. An origin story and an end story back-to-back. What are the odds? It’s almost as if my mom really did strike up a deal with God to die at just the right time. 

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In all seriousness...

In my newfound humility, I now largely stick to one blog a month for you all. I hope you enjoy them. In all seriousness, this past year has been hard, and, as we approach the one-year anniversary of my mom’s death, I am grateful for all of you for sticking around. 

Writing these blogs has been a good distraction. They have helped me process my grief. They have helped me feel as if I’m honoring my mother. They have provided levity to a tough situation. They have made me realize that I’m not alone in my struggle. I have saved every kind word you have written to me or my family in the aftermath of her death. I periodically revisit them when I need a dopamine hit or, in actuality, I need something to smile about when I’m really sad. I know my mom would be pleased. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  

In the coming month, I have finished a day-by-day calendar of all my brother’s and dad’s best Tweets, my mom’s best texts she sent in our group chat, and some of my cringey FB statuses from the years 2008-2014. Stay tuned for that! 

My goal now is to become a certified sleep and anxiety coach and as part of that I developed a mini STRESS FREE SLEEP email course. 

​I highly suggest checking it out if you struggle with sleep and panic. 

Buy me a coffee if you liked this blog. 
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And if you're a parent, check out my parenting guide Now What? Mindful Parenting Checklists for Life’s Hard Moments. ​

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L​auren Barrett is a multi-passionate mom working to help all people become their best selves and build positive relationships with the people around them. She has a degree in deaf education and a Master’s in Reading Education. She is a high school teacher of the Deaf and hard-of-hearing, a former cross country coach, a writer/author, and a full time mom to an amazing 5-year old. Lauren is a 3x author, including children’s book,Henry’s Hiccups, and parenting guide Now What? Mindful Checklists for Life’s Hard Parenting Moments. She is a blogger at Lauren Barrett Writes. Currently, she is grieving her loving mom’s unexpected death and devoting her time to helping people learn about grief, insomnia, and anxiety in honor of her mom. She loves her faith, running, visiting MLB stadiums with her husband, chocolate, scrapbooking, pretending she would actually do well on the Amazing Race, re-watching The Office, listening to Bobby Bones, and helping out all moms. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, James, and son, Henry. Follow her on her blog and get her free kind for sleep and anxiety, Stress Free Sleep.