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In our neighborhood, we live in a cul-de-sac. The “Sac” or “Kiddie Cove”, as we refer to it, is comprised of six houses that all have kids ranging from babies to middle schoolers. After his school day, the first thing my older son (age 6) asks is, “Can I play outside with my neighbors?” We make him change out of his uniform and then shoo him outside to play. The parents are in and out with the babies to make sure everyone is being safe. In all, on any given day, up to twelve kids could be playing outside. Sometimes, they are organizing a game of wiffle play, and other times, they are racing their bikes around. On occasion, they get a little bit more creative and play family, complete with imaginary scenarios and makeshift houses built out of cardboard boxes. Frequently, they are racing Matchbox cars or constructing intricate Magnatile cities. While their play of choice can vary from day to day, one thing remains the same — they all play together, no matter the age. Sure, sometimes, they can break up into groups, but the cliques don’t so much have to do with age as they do with interest. And as parents of kids in the “Sac,” we encourage this kind of mixed-aged play. Here’s why. Children Learn From One Another When all the kids play with one another, no matter the age, everyone learns. The younger kids learn from the bigger kids essential life skills. I have observed the little ones learning cooperation, turn-taking, sharing, social etiquette, language, and motor skills. The toddlers, preschoolers, and younger elementary school kids feel really special when the older kids on our block play with them. They buy into their more sophisticated way of play, and with encouragement from their parents, can observe and model behavior from the older kids, such as handling winning and losing gracefully, responding to disappointment with fewer tears and screams, and following rules for playing games. In return, the older kids learn leadership skills, patience, the importance of play, and empathy. They get so excited when the little ones greet them with huge hugs and ask them to play. As parents, we usually try to sit back and watch how the older kids solve problems and help the younger kids work out their frustrations. It’s always humorous to listen to the middle schoolers vent their exasperation about trying to get the younger kids to listen. “Kids, amirite?” My son playing with multiple age groups in our neighborhood has taught him more than any workbook or flashcard ever has. It’s Easier for the Parents I’m all for lazy parenting. We already have so much on our plates as it is, so let’s lighten the load for a bit when it comes to children’s play. We don’t need to be involved. The most I do is sittervise, a term coined by popular parenting account, Busy Toddler. That is, I will park my butt in a chair and glance up now and then to see that no one is killing each other. If there is conflict or a problem with turn-taking or sharing, I usually pause before jumping in. Most of the time, the older kids help work it out, and that is an important skill for kids to learn — conflict resolution. In the “Sac,” everyone looks out for everyone, and, as I said many times, it takes a village. Our village includes kids of all ages, too. It Prepares for the Future Lastly, as we grow older, we have more and more interactions with people of all ages. We don’t just work with people our same age. Fifteen years into teaching, I’m now working with people my parents' age and people that I used to teach. It offers a world of perspective. Kids’ play doesn’t need to be confined to just the same age. Sure, there are times when you have to restrict some activities of play when physical aspects get involved or if it is just not safe for little ones, but most of the time, when the kids play, they are playing games and activities that are suitable for all ages. Since there are kids older and younger than my first son, he will have the knowledge and skill to receive and provide instruction when he gets older. A key takeaway from all of this is to expose your kids to mixed-aged play. That child two or three years older or younger than your kids, can still be a good playmate. They have a lot to learn from one another.
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