On a recent trip to Las Vegas, I decided to book a bus tour from Viator to see Death Valley, located roughly two hours away from Vegas. 

I could have rented a car to have more flexibility, but I didn't quite trust myself to navigate without my husband, and an expert in the desert. 

A bus tour was perfect to see all the main spots and tick a new national park off my list. 

However, I will say I do want to go back on my own to do more hiking and sightseeing. 

Death Valley is the largest park by area in the continental U.S. 
The lowest point in all of North America is in Death Valley. 
And the hottest temperature ever recorded was in Death Valley. 

I also want to note that NOT going during the summer is a MUST. I went during mid-November, and temperatures were still in the upper 80s during the night. It was nice, but I could definitely see how the summer could be torturous and even dangerous. 

Unfortunately, due to some flooding in the park, some of the main stops had to be cancelled, and the tour had to make some last minute changes. 

We ended up stopping in this ghost town outside of the park. 

Sure, to imagine the history of this place is quite interesting, but I would have preferred to read about it in a book than actual stop there. To me, there wasn't much to see that a book couldn't capture. 

I say skip this site and spend more time in the actual park. 

We spent about 30-minutes here traversing up and down sand dunes. This area offers little to no shade so come prepared and hydrated. 

It was fun to play in the dunes and see the mountains in the background. 

​You really don't need to spend longer than an hour here. 

Stops 4-5 were mainly about rest and refueling. 

The visitor center had gifts and snacks for sale plus restrooms. They also have an interactive area with facts and the history of the park. 

The Oasis is literally that. 

It's a lush area in the middle of a desert. There is water, lush grass, trees, a hotel, restaurants, and shops. 

This was my favorite spot in the park. 

Beautiful views. Fun hikes. 

I would have loved to have spent more time hiking here. 

We got to this vista in the late afternoon. The temperatures had cooled dramatically. 

There were panoramic views of Badwater Basin down below. 

We were supposed to visit Badwater Basin, the lowest point in North America, and Artists Palette, but flooding prevented us, which disappointed me. 

Overall, Death Valley National Park pleasantly surprised me. I didn't realize how much more I wanted to explore here. 

I will add it to my list to go back. 

I’m in the third year of grieving the death of my mother. Of course, my life is now divided into the customary and proverbial Before and After. It’s a stark divide, and I can pinpoint the exact moment where I knew my life would be forever changed — the After. And I can recall the exact moment to which I will forever long to go back — the Before.

I thought that was how it would always be. The Before and The After.

Then, the first anniversary of her death passed. Then, the second. And I found myself splitting my life even further into a third category, a surprising bracket that I would never imagine I would want to revisit. A time that isn’t as talked about as much in everyday life, like the Before and After trope. An unspoken universe where time seems to stop.

However, my algorithm understood my feelings. In the grief space, mourners, young and old, talked about this time and place.

It’s the first wave of grief and, surprisingly, I find that sometimes I want to go back to it…

Grievers can distinctly pinpoint two waves of grief after the death of a loved one. There’s the first wave. For me, this occurred the entire first year after my mom’s death. It’s sharp and intense. It’s waking up and re-remembering that she is gone multiple times a day, and then feeling like a knife has been plunged into my chest. Sounds terrible, right? Not necessarily.

There are the glimmers. There’s comfort in the fact that my life could revolve around my mom’s death. It was acceptable to begin every conversation about her. It was admissible to immerse myself in the grief world: the grief groups, the books about Heaven and mourning, the phone calls from concerned and caring friends and family members, the stories I would write, the journal I would pen to her every day, the signs that seemed to frequently arise when I needed them the most, the stories we would tell and the toasts we proclaimed in my mom’s honor. Time crawls at a maddeningly slow pace.

Then, it ended around the one-year mark, and suddenly, my world of grief had to shrink. Life had to move on. It was taboo to still be talking, writing, and posting about my mom constantly. It had to end. I understood I couldn’t stay in the first wave of grief forever.

Gradually, life started to change. I could no longer tell my new group of students that my mom “just” died last year. The toasts faded. The phone calls dwindled. I could no longer watch a video of my mom without breaking down. While my mom and my grief were very much alive in my heart, showing my pain to the outside world was something I had to hide.
And that’s when the second wave of grief started. The second wave of grief occurs in the years following a loved one’s death. It can disappear for a while but then come back. It’s less intense, but it is deeper as it has wedged itself into the crevices of your soul. The reality and enormity of the death settle in, and the shock of it wears off when you realize that this thing is permanent, and you’ve been forever changed. It’s worse because life moves on when you are wondering how it could move on for you when someone who was at the core of your life is gone. The death of my mom is starting to feel normal in the day-to-day. I know that I can’t call her. I know she isn’t coming back. It’s hard to accept that with each milestone, she will miss out. Time moves maddeningly fast.
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In a way, I want to go back to the first wave of grief. I miss how we were all connected by mom’s death. Yet, I know that life has to move on, and I have learned to appreciate the beauty in life more. My mom will always be by my side and in any wave of grief, I will just hold on and hang in there until we meet again…

​In our neighborhood, we live in a cul-de-sac. The “Sac” or “Kiddie Cove”, as we refer to it, is comprised of six houses that all have kids ranging from babies to middle schoolers.

After his school day, the first thing my older son (age 6) asks is, “Can I play outside with my neighbors?” We make him change out of his uniform and then shoo him outside to play. The parents are in and out with the babies to make sure everyone is being safe.

In all, on any given day, up to twelve kids could be playing outside. Sometimes, they are organizing a game of wiffle play, and other times, they are racing their bikes around. On occasion, they get a little bit more creative and play family, complete with imaginary scenarios and makeshift houses built out of cardboard boxes. Frequently, they are racing Matchbox cars or constructing intricate Magnatile cities.

While their play of choice can vary from day to day, one thing remains the same — they all play together, no matter the age. Sure, sometimes, they can break up into groups, but the cliques don’t so much have to do with age as they do with interest.

And as parents of kids in the “Sac,” we encourage this kind of mixed-aged play. Here’s why.

Children Learn From One Another

When all the kids play with one another, no matter the age, everyone learns.
The younger kids learn from the bigger kids essential life skills.
I have observed the little ones learning cooperation, turn-taking, sharing, social etiquette, language, and motor skills.

The toddlers, preschoolers, and younger elementary school kids feel really special when the older kids on our block play with them. They buy into their more sophisticated way of play, and with encouragement from their parents, can observe and model behavior from the older kids, such as handling winning and losing gracefully, responding to disappointment with fewer tears and screams, and following rules for playing games.

In return, the older kids learn leadership skills, patience, the importance of play, and empathy. They get so excited when the little ones greet them with huge hugs and ask them to play.

As parents, we usually try to sit back and watch how the older kids solve problems and help the younger kids work out their frustrations. It’s always humorous to listen to the middle schoolers vent their exasperation about trying to get the younger kids to listen. “Kids, amirite?”

My son playing with multiple age groups in our neighborhood has taught him more than any workbook or flashcard ever has.

It’s Easier for the Parents

I’m all for lazy parenting. We already have so much on our plates as it is, so let’s lighten the load for a bit when it comes to children’s play.

We don’t need to be involved.

The most I do is sittervise, a term coined by popular parenting account, Busy Toddler. That is, I will park my butt in a chair and glance up now and then to see that no one is killing each other.

If there is conflict or a problem with turn-taking or sharing, I usually pause before jumping in. Most of the time, the older kids help work it out, and that is an important skill for kids to learn — conflict resolution.

In the “Sac,” everyone looks out for everyone, and, as I said many times, it takes a village. Our village includes kids of all ages, too.

It Prepares for the Future

Lastly, as we grow older, we have more and more interactions with people of all ages. We don’t just work with people our same age. Fifteen years into teaching, I’m now working with people my parents' age and people that I used to teach. It offers a world of perspective.

Kids’ play doesn’t need to be confined to just the same age.

Sure, there are times when you have to restrict some activities of play when physical aspects get involved or if it is just not safe for little ones, but most of the time, when the kids play, they are playing games and activities that are suitable for all ages.

Since there are kids older and younger than my first son, he will have the knowledge and skill to receive and provide instruction when he gets older.
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A key takeaway from all of this is to expose your kids to mixed-aged play. That child two or three years older or younger than your kids, can still be a good playmate. They have a lot to learn from one another.