Remi Markos: Shiiii been pretty str8 with Baytree. He was livin’ life to the max shii wbu twin? 

Interviewer: Ummm…

Remi Markos: “Yeah, fo’ sho’. I was tryna get homie to link up on a collab wit’ me, but I don’t think I had bro’s real number.” I straight up wudda clocked him for puttin’ out Steam Room. 

Interviewer: What’s Steam Room? 

Remi Markos: Yo, bro, you’ve never heard of Steam Room? 

​

Narrator: After the success of “It All Comes Down,” Baytree Monkey was riding that high. But like with all good successful debut albums or books, artists eventually get pestered with the inevitable question, “When are you going to do another?” 

Baytree Monkey’s sophomore album was the much-anticipated musical drop of the summer. With the school year about to start, hordes of tweens were gearing up for the football season to watch Baytree perform. 

Lexie (fan #1): I had a poster of Baytree Monkey in my room. 

Melanie (fan #2): I got him to sign my shirt. I wear it all the time. 

Twins Tabitha and Taylor (fans #3 & 4): We bought prepaid tickets for the entire football season. I couldn’t tell you a single team that was playing. I only cared to see Baytree Monkey. 

Narrator: On the eve of the album’s release, Baytree and his crew gathered in the basement of his house. The press was there to do an interview. To the public, Baytree oozed nothing but poise and control. His gang laughed along with and clamored on about how great the new album would be. 

When the lights turned off and the camera crew packed up for the evening, all pretenses were dropped. 

Fades to black. Sinister music. 

Derek pops up on the screen. 

Derek: Yeah…he had nothing. 

​

Shelton: He was in the studio all summer by himself. He didn’t want us in there. We thought he was working on something magical. 

Derek: Baytree wasn’t fazed. He assured us that we could go home, and he would churn out a masterpiece overnight. We were skeptical, but you didn’t argue with Baytree. 

The camera cut to a home in North Carolina. Lauren comes on screen, washing the dishes with kids in the background. 

Lauren: (Laughs). You’re talking about Steam Room. Around that time, Kyle got obsessed with Fat Joe. I was going off to high school and had joined the cross-country team. I had more important things to worry about. I had always tried to keep Kyle’s ego in check, but no one was really looking out for him that summer. My parents were preoccupied with the genesis of my running career and my high school journey about to start. My mom was stressed because, around this time, I was talking about quitting basketball. That really got to her for some reason. The whole summer, he would do this bit where he would sag his pants. My mom would say, “Pull up your pants.” Kyle would respond, “And do the Rockaway.” Confused, my mom would be like “Yes, Kyle, we are going to Rockaway to visit your cousins in July.” We had family in Rockaway, NJ. I didn’t bother to correct them. I had no idea the obsession ran so deep. I would have stepped in. 

​

A drone flies above Wheeling Central Stadium in Wheeling, WV. Shelton is seen walking alone on the 50-yard line. 

Shelton: No one had heard the album. The evening after the interview, Kyle spent all night working on Steam Room, but he kept it under wraps until the first game of the year. He wouldn’t even let us hear it. I wish I had. (Shutters). 

McKenzie: Central’s first home game was on a Thursday. Ironically, September 11. They always played their first home game on a Thursday, so the public school could play the next day on a Friday. It really drummed up sales for the city to have back-to-back nights of tailgating. Riesbeck’s was always sold out of their wings. Greg Bauer was proud.    Some people called what happened Wheeling’s own 9/11. I think the headline was All Hail, Ky(le), The Tragedy Strikes Again on 9/11. Subheadline: 4 foot 2 Bauer Has Fallen. Pent up and gone, too. Someone was fired that day. 

Brenda Danehart (News Anchor for Channel 7, WTRF): I was there to cover the game, but I had gotten wind of this Baytree Monkey character, so I decided to head under the bleachers to cover the story during halftime. A kid rapping at football games. Who doesn’t love a feel-good story? I set up my cameras, ready to capture the whole event on live TV.

Lauren: I had come down from the bleachers to go to the bathroom and get some food. I was allowed to sit in the student section now because I was a freshman. I was with my new friend, Steph. She was so cool and on the cross-country team with me. We saw some seniors on the team, and they called us over! I felt so cool. Until I saw my brother….I audibly gasped. 

Shelton: Yeah…so when he said he was obsessed with Fat Joe, that was an understatement. Baytree Monkey became Fat Joe. 

Derek: It was like he was method acting as him and talking via his lyrics. 

Shelton: He actually said, “Put the fucking mic on! Mic is on? Joe Crack the Don, uh! Uh, Irv Gotti! What's love?” He transferred into Ashanti and said, “It should be about us, be about trust.” Then, he went straight into Steam Room. 

Derek: He never got out of this character. 

Carter: It was a disaster. 

Brenda Danehart (News Anchor for Channel 7, WTRF): I thought I would be filming this sweet little boy rapping adorably. Instead, I was filming a boy method-acting as a rapper, Baytree Monkey, who was method-acting as a real rapper, Fat Joe. I know this was Wheeling, West Virginia, in the early 2000s, but even I was like “Yikes. Someone stop him.” But no one did. I kept my camera running. We had another news story on our hands. 

Shelton: The backlash from Steam Room was immediate and harsh. 

McKenzie: There’s footage of Baytree Monkey at the football game, screaming at the crowd, “Watchu gon do. I'm gon get get get it poppin'. That’s what I’m going to do.” 

Derek: After Baytree Monkey stomped out of the football game while we tried to hold him back from fighting everyone, he spiraled. He put out a few disturbing videos that were leaked to the public. 

Shelton: Then, he went dark….

​

​Episode 4: Come Home, Baytree Monkey

For Spring Break, my family and I flew to San Diego to stay with family. During the trip, we decided to venture on over to Joshua Tree National Park on our quest to visit all 63 National Parks. 

Joshua Tree is about a 3 1/2 hour drive from San Diego, depending on which way you go. On the way there, we got there quicker, but the roads through the mountains made me so car sick that we took a different way back through Palm Springs. 

We entered through the South Entrance and headed to our first stop, Chollas Cactus Garden. The trail was closed, but you can park along the side of the road and still walk around. 

I captured some pretty photos of the cacti. 

Then, we were on our way to the White Tank Campground, where we parked our car. 

Here, you can do Arch Rock Trail and Heart Rock Trail. My boys, ages 1 and 7, had a really fun time scrambling among the rocks. We had the most fun at the stop and spent over two hours here, playing, exploring, and hiking. 

The boys were pretty tired, so I had my husband drop me off at Skull Rock to take some pictures before heading to the Joshua Tree Visitor Center in Twentynine Palms. 

I recommend getting an AirBNB or any other lodging near either Twentynine Palms or the town of Joshua Tree. We got one near the "downtown" of Joshua Tree. They have a lot of electric shops and restaurants there. 

We had dinner from Sky High Pie before heading back to the park to attempt to see the sunset and stargaze. 

Unfortunately, it was cloudy, so that didn't pan out, but seeing the Joshua trees and the rest of the park under the dusk sky and twilight hour was truly beautiful. We parked our car at Intersection Rock, opened up the tailgate, brought along some snacks and drinks, and enjoyed nature. 

I wish we could have seen the colors of the sunset bounce off the rocks and the twinkling sky, but it was still worth it. 

In the morning, we walked to breakfast at Crossroads Cafe and then, of course, had to stop back in the park for a picture in front of the Welcome Sign and one more stop to Keys View, a scenic spot offering panoramic views of mountains, the San Andreas Fault & Coachella Valley.

I've heard this is a good spot to watch the sunset. 

Overall, this park exceeded my expectations. Our crumudgeon (but funny) tour guy for Death Valley said while in DV, "Oh, look, there is a Joshua Tree. Now you don't need to go there." 

I don't agree. I think this park is a separate entity and needs to be viewed. However, to me, this park doesn't need to be more than 1-2 days. 

Where should we go next? 

**I know it seems as if I'm a greedy, greedy girl to charge membership to a blog, but the blogging/emailing sites raised their prices. My goal is to get 11 more people to make a profit. **

Remi Markos (real person): Yo, It All Comes Down was an instant smash hit. Type Shiii. 

Group of teeny boppers in their Catholic school uniforms, standing on the playground (which is just a parking lot) of St. Vincent de Paul School: Whatcha want now? Baytree! Who you wanna hear? Baytree!

Shawn “Plenty Rock” Moore: It All Comes Down was an overnight sensation. It put Baytree Monkey on the map. Thug Life was the fan favorite, but IACD resonated most with true hip hop fans. 

Shelton: Fruit salad. Can’t hack it. The lyrics were catchy as hell. 

Derek: Those were the times. 

​

The camera pans over Baytree Monkey’s childhood home and zooms in on the Baytree sign before settling on the kitchen table inside the house. 

Interviewer: Thanks for being here today. What do you remember about Baytree Monkey?

Lauren (Baytree Monkey’s sister): Thanks for having me. I’m used to doing these things by now. Kyle has many facets to him. 

Interviewer: Kyle? 

Lauren: I refuse to call him Baytree Monkey or KB. But Dean is cool. 

Interviewer: Dean? 

Lauren: A whole other interview. Anyway, I was in 8th grade at the time of Baytree Monkey’s genesis. It was a big deal at the time to go to the Wheeling Central football games at Wheeling Island. The 4th-8th graders hung out below the bleachers and walked around. Kyle was a little guy. I mean, it’s not like I could talk either, but he was tiny. And all of a sudden, at these football games, he has this flock of kids surrounding him. He’s in the middle rapping his hits: Thug Life, It All Comes Down, and High Speed. These tweens are throwing dollar bills at him, and he’s lapping up the attention. 

Interviewer: Were you jealous? 

Lauren: Ha. Me jealous of Kyle, Kyle, Kyle? This was October, and the Geography Bee didn’t happen until the month of Jan. Brady was never jealous of the bunch of Giselle’s fame. Why would I be? Shakespeare, the great bard, a simp, son of a glover, was never covetous of anyone. I had my own job booth at the games - passing out free gum from my uncle’s business. I wasn’t bitter that he had arrested my development of entrepreneurship. The classic TV trope of sibling rivalry didn’t happen in the Bauer Family. I had my thing, and he had his. End of story. 

​

Shelton: It was the beginning of an epic story. Kyle’s fame took off and grew exponentially each week after the football games. He could barely walk into DiCarlos without a mob of rapid fans hounding him. We had to hire security for him. 

Interviewer: Have a seat. 

Carter Huffman: Where are we looking? 

Interviewer: Look right here at me. 

Carter Huffman: I’m Carter Huffman. 

McKenzie Peluchette: I’m McKenzie Peluchette. We were Baytree Monkey’s security team on the one account that we were the two tallest boys in the class. It was an honor to be asked. 

Carter: We were living large, being in his squad. He treated us well. Free gum for us in return for protecting him from the paparazzi and screaming girls at the games. 

McKenzie: My favorite story from our time on the road was when there was an away game in Steubenville, Ohio. The Bauer Family decided to go. We were talking with Baytree Monkey like asking, “Hey man, are you thinking of going because there are going to be a lot of people there?” Word was spreading, ya know. We heard from AOL Instant Messenger that children were going just to see Baytree Monkey. So we were like, “Dude, if you’re going to go, we need to be prepared.” 

Carter: So his mom agreed to ride us in the minivan, so we could roll up six deep. We had Baytree, Kenz, Derek, Shelton, Michael Selak, and me in this van. His mom was usually into healthy shit, but she bought us Scooby Snacks, Cheez Balls, Go-Gurt, and Capri Suns for the road. The plan was that she was going to ride to the back entrance, drop us off there, and then we were going to sneak in and set up near the concession stands. 

McKenzie: But there was a tip-off. 

Carter: Someone saw Baytree sticking his head out of the van like a dog and had their mom tail the car. She then posted from XoXoPrincessGurl4Eva on her AOL Away Message: Baytree Monkey coming in the minivan :p :p

McKenzie: By the time we got there, the whole place was packed with kids screaming for Baytree. They had signs. Prepubescent kids were throwing stuff at him. Girls wanted him to sign their training bras. So, I turned to Huff, and like mouthed, “What are we going to do?” He turned back to me and was like Baytree is going up. 

Carter: It was my idea to lift him up. We just surround him and hoist him into the air. The crowd went nuts. Everyone was chanting, “Baytree Monkey.” It was awesome! 

McKenzie: Someone got a photo. And it got sent to the newspaper. The next morning, it was on the front page of The Wheeling Intelligencer. Baytree Monkey in the air, with his thousand-watt smile and all of us surrounding him, cheesin’. Man, those were the times. 

Carter: Baytree Monkey would live forever. 

​

COMING SOON: Episode 3: The Downfall

A figure shrouded in all black enters a dark room. He has a seat in a lone chair in the middle of the room. Camera pans out to reveal Wheeling, West Virginia’s renowned local rapper, Remy Markos.

Interviewer (off camera): So, how do you want to do this? 

Remy Markos: I suppose we should start at the beginning. 

Various interviews with residents of Wheeling flash onto the screen in rapid succession. 

Young Boy 1: Baytree Monkey…

Young Boy 2: Baytree Monkey…

Young Girl 1: Baytree Money…

Young Girl 2: Baytree Monkey…

Young Boy 3: Everyone knew Baytree Monkey. 

Adult 1: My kids would talk about Baytree Monkey all the time. They only wanted to listen to his music. 

Young Girl 3: Baytree Monkey was a local legend. 

Young Girl 4: I don’t remember much of his music, but he was so petite. It was so cute to see this little boy rapping. 

Young Boy 4: He was the Polish version of Eminem. 

Adult 2: I was best friends with him. 

​

The screen transitions to a man in his early 30’s working on a car in his garage. He wipes grease off his hands onto his forehead and sits down. 

Shelton: My name is Shelton. I’m 32 years old—new dad. I haven’t thought about Baytree Monkey in years. [Laughs] Now, that was a time. Kyle and I have been friends since birth. Our moms were best friends. 

Shelton: We were different. I was more outgoing. Kyle was quieter. Until you got to know him. I was at his house a lot. You know, his dad tried to kill me once. 

Interviewer: I read about that. 

Shelton: It was 2003. Kyle was always going through these phases. Like one day he would be interested in performing magic shows, and the next he would be doodling in some notebook. Sketches of like islands and cities or some shit like that.  I could see him as a Gic, but he wanted to transition to rapping. Weird brain, man. But, I mean, he was my friend. He was fun to be around. Our other buddy, Derek, was there that day. 

​

The camera shows an aerial view over Lake Norman. Geese flock to the shore. A lone man walks near the lake. 

Derek: I was his next-door neighbor. I was over at his house a lot. You know, his dad used to torture us kids. 

Interviewer: I read about that. 

Derek: I was shocked when he came up with the idea. I didn’t even know the dude could rap. But people didn’t tell Kyle no. You couldn’t crush his dreams like that. Someone so special needs that love. That support. They need to learn for themselves about failure. Kyle, though, was too small to fail. "No child left behind" is what we would say when we would all play ball in the yard. We'd give him some accommodations to help him score. But we were all pumped for him. We loved the idea. We egged him on. This was his annual goal, and we were all here to help him make progress on it. He had that "I eat piece" mentality. There's enough to go around for each individual, and he had the education to begin his program in rapping. That's how Baytree Monkey was formed. 

Interviewer: Where did he get the name, Baytree Monkey? 

Derek: You’re going to have to ask the dad.

​

The camera zooms in on a residence for individuals 55 and up in Durham, North Carolina. There are shots of the pickleball court, pool, and garden before settling on a man sitting in the indoor hot tub.

Greg Bauer: I was in the hot tub today, and a lady came up to me and asked if I had taken a shower. I said no (because I knew what she was up to, and I always shower before hot tubbing). I said I just cleaned up in here with soap and shampoo in my bag. She got really mad and started to leave. I calmed down before she went to report me. I asked if she showered because something does smell. I said let’s start asking if the pool people showered before swimming. I was really messing with her, so I knew she felt embarrassed. I calmed her down, and we talked. From Ukraine. [True Story]

Interviewer: Yep, you must be Greg Bauer. Or Doug Wanoy. Everyone in your family has an alter ego. I was warned about you. Anyway, thank you for telling me that story unprompted. Do you know about the name Baytree Monkey? 

Greg Bauer: Baytree Monkeytick was an online name I used for old online games and AOL forums in the early 2000s. In fact, I still use it. I also use it for fantasy football. Baytree is the street where we lived in Wheeling. Kyle dropped the ‘tick’ to be more marketable, according to him. Got to get rid of the tick. (Laughs loudly)

​

Shelton: So you heard about the name? (Chuckles). So yeah, dude starts writing lyrics and dropping tracks from his own home. I’m not going to lie, man, they were dope.

Derek: What do the kids say now? Fire. They were fire. So, one day, we are just spitballing in the basement. Kyle, my bad, Baytree Monkey, as he wanted to be called back then, starts rhyming. He’s flowing. Had that beat going. That’s how his debut album, It All Comes Down, was born. ​

​Thinking about trying cross country for the first time? Maybe you’re a rising freshman, a parent of a runner, or perhaps you’re an upperclassman looking to try something new. You might have some trepidations about running, especially if you’re a first-time runner.

I had all those same feelings when I joined cross-country my freshman year. Having only ever done a few road races before, I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up for the team. But I went on to run 4 years of cross country in high school and college, and now I’ve been coaching for 11 years. I absolutely love the sport.

In this article, I’ll help you prepare for cross-country in five easy steps. The goal is that you’ll feel confident and ready to get the season started on the first day of practice. In this article, you’ll learn how to:

• Decipher the sport and running terminology
• Buy the right gear
• Know how to train without running too little or too much
• Implement the right stretches for before and after running
• Add in cross-training and core work

Follow these steps, and first-time runners can be on their way to a successful, injury-free, and fun cross-country season.

First, before even beginning the sport of cross country, it will help to know what you are getting into. Cross-country is a simple sport without too many rules.

For starters, most cross-country teams do not make cuts, and everyone gets an opportunity to run in the races. Most races are 5Ks (3.1 miles). We run 3Ks before Labor and 5Ks afterward. Teams typically have a dual, tri, or quad meet during the week and more competitive invitationals on the weekend. Varsity meets usually allow up to 7–10 runners, although in some cases, they could allow more. However, in Regionals and States, only seven runners can run. For Junior Varsity races, there tends to be no limit on who can run in the smaller meets.

Additionally, cross-country courses can range from flat to hilly or somewhere in between. The types of surfaces can vary, too. I’ve run on gravel, dirt, grass, golf courses, across streams, over logs, in the sun, and in the woods. That’s what I love about cross country. Every course is unique.

To score a cross-country race, you take the place of your first five individuals and add them together. The lowest score wins. The sixth and seventh runners are used in the event of a tiebreaker, so we stress how much they matter too.

Lastly, you should be familiar with some terminology when it comes to running. I have broken down some common key running phrases.

Cross Country Phrases

• Easy pace: Recovery pace, not ridiculously slow. An “as you feel” pace.
• Easy/Moderate pace: Relaxed, picking it up to a little faster than an easy pace.
• Moderate pace: The pace you go when you’re on a “regular run.” It’s not hard, just a decent, enjoyable effort.
• Tempo pace: About 30 seconds per mile slower than your current 3-mile pace. These runs are to be done on a flat course, and the same pace is to be maintained throughout. “Comfortably Hard,” as we call it, tempo workouts are the most important tool for improving your fitness and endurance. Also known as “Anaerobic Threshold Pace,” this run will raise the heart rate at which fatigue sets in. Basically, you can go harder for longer.
• Race pace: This pace is how fast you have most recently run a 3-mile race or how fast you plan to run in your next one.
• Repeats/Intervals: Interval training that consists of doing fast repeats, usually done at threshold/tempo or race pace. They are usually shorter in length (400s, 600s, 800s, 1000s, and a mile), and a rest occurs between intervals.
• Fartlek: Swedish for “speed play,” these workouts are for building your ability to vary pace when you need to. Putting on surges to break the competition as well as being able to respond to their attacks is an important part of racing. These workouts consist of timed bursts of near-race pace with about equal amounts of easy recovery running in between.
• Hills: These workouts build strength, and you will need it with the courses you race. Usually, hill work is done at close to race pace and is a fairly short, concentrated effort. They improve your agility, toughness, and overall strength.
• Long: The intermediate-advanced runners will do one long run of an hour+ every week, usually on the weekend. These runs are done at a relaxed pace, no faster than moderate effort. The long runs will make you stronger, both physically and mentally.
• Strides: Short bouts of faster running with recovery in between. They usually are 50-200 meters in length. They are not all-out sprints but are usually done at mile or race pace. Runners are to elongate their strides and work on their form.
• Warm-up/warm-down: You will stretch and then use the first five minutes of your run as a warm-up, and then again, in the last five minutes, will be used as a cool-down. For more intense, harder workouts, you will spend about 10–15 minutes warming up, followed by stretching, and 4 quick strides. After the run, you will spend 8–10 minutes on a cool-down run at an easy pace. Always remember to stretch after a run.

Having this knowledge of cross-country before the season starts will be helpful to you.

The great thing about cross-country is that it doesn’t require much gear or equipment. All you really need is a pair of running shoes and a watch.

For shoes, I’ve always been partial to Brooks. But other popular brands are ASICS, Saucony, Nike, HOKA, Adidas, and New Balance.
​
I suggest going to a local running store or even a national chain, having the sales expert measure your foot and recommend certain types of shoes, trying on a few pairs, and jogging in them to get a feel for what is right for you.

As for a watch, we tell our runners that they can go as cheap or as fancy as they want. Personally, I prefer a cheap watch that just has a stopwatch. I don’t need anything more like a GPS, and if I need to take splits or track distance, I use apps on my phone to do that. I suggest starting with a cheap watch and then seeing your preference as the season progresses.

Other gear that runners might be into includes:

• Water bottles
• Yoga mat for core days
• Running clothes (spandex, compression shorts, Dri-fit t-shirts, supportable sports bra, running socks)
• Foam roller for tight muscles
• Running journal
• Spikes for racing

First-time runners should stick to the beginner's running guide given to them by their coaches. It’s easy to want to hop in with the advanced and do their workouts, thinking that the harder workouts and more mileage will equate to being faster. The opposite is true, in fact. Doing too much, too quickly, will lead to burnout and injury, especially in younger kids whose bodies are still developing.

For our team, that looks like running 2-4 miles (roughly 15-30 minutes) 4-6 times a week during the summer training months. If you’re finding that running 2-3 miles consistently without stopping is hard, and you're stopping to walk a lot, then you want to adjust your training.

I would suggest doing walking/running intervals, almost like a fartlek. For example, run/jog for 3 minutes, walk briskly for 1, and repeat. Increase the amount of time you are running by 15 seconds each day until you are doing almost your whole run without walking.

Another way to do this is by adding a minute each day. For instance, on Day 1, run for one minute. That’s it. The next day, run for two minutes. So forth and so forth. This works because mentally, your body can handle this. Your brain thinks, “What’s one minute more? I can do that.”

We suggest first-time runners average 15-25 miles per week in the summer months, with intermediate runners peaking around 25-35 miles each week for male runners and 20-30 miles per week for female runners. We highly recommend using a running journal to keep track of each run and how you feel to determine how much you’re running and if you’re doing too much or too little.

The important thing with first-time runners is to build their base, and that means getting in mileage. Doing a lot of workouts isn’t necessary until runners can handle 3-4 miles without stopping or getting overly winded at an easy pace.
Follow this training regimen, and you’ll be on your way to a great season.

Jumping into running without doing any type of stretches will leave you injury-prone. Learn how to do the right stretches before and after running.
​
Before running, you should warm up by doing dynamic stretching, active stretching where joints and muscles go through a full range of motion. I’ve included a video to help you through this. Spend 10–15 minutes warming up.

After running, runners should cool down with static stretching, stretches where you stand, sit, or lie still and hold a single position. I’ve included a video to help you through this. Spend 10 minutes cooling down.

Core is very important for runners. It is what keeps your torso upright when running. Poor form slows you down and leaves you prone to injury, especially when you are tired after a long or intense run. A strengthened core will allow you to remain in proper form. Our team does core work twice a week. I’ve included a video of some important core exercises. We also do 4 x 200-meter strides twice a week to work on form, turning over, and speed.


Cross-training, activities that are complementary to your running training, is a good idea to add into your training, especially on their off days, as these forms of exercise are easy on your joints in your legs, strengthen your body, reduce the risk of injury, and provide a mental and physical break from running.

Some good cross-training activities include:

• Swimming or pool jogging
• Cycling
• Elliptical
• Yoga/pilates

Cross-training isn’t necessary, but it’s important for first-time runners to remember that they are young and they should explore a variety of activities, as constantly running can lead to burnout.

​There you have it! Five easy steps to get ready for high school cross country. Always encourage your runners to reach out to their coaches if they have any questions. Don’t get discouraged the first time you go out for a run.

I remember when I could barely run a mile when I first started my running career. Hang in there, take it slow, and most importantly, have fun!

On a recent trip to Las Vegas, I decided to book a bus tour from Viator to see Death Valley, located roughly two hours away from Vegas. 

I could have rented a car to have more flexibility, but I didn't quite trust myself to navigate without my husband, and an expert in the desert. 

A bus tour was perfect to see all the main spots and tick a new national park off my list. 

However, I will say I do want to go back on my own to do more hiking and sightseeing. 

Death Valley is the largest park by area in the continental U.S. 
The lowest point in all of North America is in Death Valley. 
And the hottest temperature ever recorded was in Death Valley. 

I also want to note that NOT going during the summer is a MUST. I went during mid-November, and temperatures were still in the upper 80s during the night. It was nice, but I could definitely see how the summer could be torturous and even dangerous. 

Unfortunately, due to some flooding in the park, some of the main stops had to be cancelled, and the tour had to make some last minute changes. 

We ended up stopping in this ghost town outside of the park. 

Sure, to imagine the history of this place is quite interesting, but I would have preferred to read about it in a book than actual stop there. To me, there wasn't much to see that a book couldn't capture. 

I say skip this site and spend more time in the actual park. 

We spent about 30-minutes here traversing up and down sand dunes. This area offers little to no shade so come prepared and hydrated. 

It was fun to play in the dunes and see the mountains in the background. 

​You really don't need to spend longer than an hour here. 

Stops 4-5 were mainly about rest and refueling. 

The visitor center had gifts and snacks for sale plus restrooms. They also have an interactive area with facts and the history of the park. 

The Oasis is literally that. 

It's a lush area in the middle of a desert. There is water, lush grass, trees, a hotel, restaurants, and shops. 

This was my favorite spot in the park. 

Beautiful views. Fun hikes. 

I would have loved to have spent more time hiking here. 

We got to this vista in the late afternoon. The temperatures had cooled dramatically. 

There were panoramic views of Badwater Basin down below. 

We were supposed to visit Badwater Basin, the lowest point in North America, and Artists Palette, but flooding prevented us, which disappointed me. 

Overall, Death Valley National Park pleasantly surprised me. I didn't realize how much more I wanted to explore here. 

I will add it to my list to go back. 

I’m in the third year of grieving the death of my mother. Of course, my life is now divided into the customary and proverbial Before and After. It’s a stark divide, and I can pinpoint the exact moment where I knew my life would be forever changed — the After. And I can recall the exact moment to which I will forever long to go back — the Before.

I thought that was how it would always be. The Before and The After.

Then, the first anniversary of her death passed. Then, the second. And I found myself splitting my life even further into a third category, a surprising bracket that I would never imagine I would want to revisit. A time that isn’t as talked about as much in everyday life, like the Before and After trope. An unspoken universe where time seems to stop.

However, my algorithm understood my feelings. In the grief space, mourners, young and old, talked about this time and place.

It’s the first wave of grief and, surprisingly, I find that sometimes I want to go back to it…

Grievers can distinctly pinpoint two waves of grief after the death of a loved one. There’s the first wave. For me, this occurred the entire first year after my mom’s death. It’s sharp and intense. It’s waking up and re-remembering that she is gone multiple times a day, and then feeling like a knife has been plunged into my chest. Sounds terrible, right? Not necessarily.

There are the glimmers. There’s comfort in the fact that my life could revolve around my mom’s death. It was acceptable to begin every conversation about her. It was admissible to immerse myself in the grief world: the grief groups, the books about Heaven and mourning, the phone calls from concerned and caring friends and family members, the stories I would write, the journal I would pen to her every day, the signs that seemed to frequently arise when I needed them the most, the stories we would tell and the toasts we proclaimed in my mom’s honor. Time crawls at a maddeningly slow pace.

Then, it ended around the one-year mark, and suddenly, my world of grief had to shrink. Life had to move on. It was taboo to still be talking, writing, and posting about my mom constantly. It had to end. I understood I couldn’t stay in the first wave of grief forever.

Gradually, life started to change. I could no longer tell my new group of students that my mom “just” died last year. The toasts faded. The phone calls dwindled. I could no longer watch a video of my mom without breaking down. While my mom and my grief were very much alive in my heart, showing my pain to the outside world was something I had to hide.
And that’s when the second wave of grief started. The second wave of grief occurs in the years following a loved one’s death. It can disappear for a while but then come back. It’s less intense, but it is deeper as it has wedged itself into the crevices of your soul. The reality and enormity of the death settle in, and the shock of it wears off when you realize that this thing is permanent, and you’ve been forever changed. It’s worse because life moves on when you are wondering how it could move on for you when someone who was at the core of your life is gone. The death of my mom is starting to feel normal in the day-to-day. I know that I can’t call her. I know she isn’t coming back. It’s hard to accept that with each milestone, she will miss out. Time moves maddeningly fast.
​
In a way, I want to go back to the first wave of grief. I miss how we were all connected by mom’s death. Yet, I know that life has to move on, and I have learned to appreciate the beauty in life more. My mom will always be by my side and in any wave of grief, I will just hold on and hang in there until we meet again…

​In our neighborhood, we live in a cul-de-sac. The “Sac” or “Kiddie Cove”, as we refer to it, is comprised of six houses that all have kids ranging from babies to middle schoolers.

After his school day, the first thing my older son (age 6) asks is, “Can I play outside with my neighbors?” We make him change out of his uniform and then shoo him outside to play. The parents are in and out with the babies to make sure everyone is being safe.

In all, on any given day, up to twelve kids could be playing outside. Sometimes, they are organizing a game of wiffle play, and other times, they are racing their bikes around. On occasion, they get a little bit more creative and play family, complete with imaginary scenarios and makeshift houses built out of cardboard boxes. Frequently, they are racing Matchbox cars or constructing intricate Magnatile cities.

While their play of choice can vary from day to day, one thing remains the same — they all play together, no matter the age. Sure, sometimes, they can break up into groups, but the cliques don’t so much have to do with age as they do with interest.

And as parents of kids in the “Sac,” we encourage this kind of mixed-aged play. Here’s why.

Children Learn From One Another

When all the kids play with one another, no matter the age, everyone learns.
The younger kids learn from the bigger kids essential life skills.
I have observed the little ones learning cooperation, turn-taking, sharing, social etiquette, language, and motor skills.

The toddlers, preschoolers, and younger elementary school kids feel really special when the older kids on our block play with them. They buy into their more sophisticated way of play, and with encouragement from their parents, can observe and model behavior from the older kids, such as handling winning and losing gracefully, responding to disappointment with fewer tears and screams, and following rules for playing games.

In return, the older kids learn leadership skills, patience, the importance of play, and empathy. They get so excited when the little ones greet them with huge hugs and ask them to play.

As parents, we usually try to sit back and watch how the older kids solve problems and help the younger kids work out their frustrations. It’s always humorous to listen to the middle schoolers vent their exasperation about trying to get the younger kids to listen. “Kids, amirite?”

My son playing with multiple age groups in our neighborhood has taught him more than any workbook or flashcard ever has.

It’s Easier for the Parents

I’m all for lazy parenting. We already have so much on our plates as it is, so let’s lighten the load for a bit when it comes to children’s play.

We don’t need to be involved.

The most I do is sittervise, a term coined by popular parenting account, Busy Toddler. That is, I will park my butt in a chair and glance up now and then to see that no one is killing each other.

If there is conflict or a problem with turn-taking or sharing, I usually pause before jumping in. Most of the time, the older kids help work it out, and that is an important skill for kids to learn — conflict resolution.

In the “Sac,” everyone looks out for everyone, and, as I said many times, it takes a village. Our village includes kids of all ages, too.

It Prepares for the Future

Lastly, as we grow older, we have more and more interactions with people of all ages. We don’t just work with people our same age. Fifteen years into teaching, I’m now working with people my parents' age and people that I used to teach. It offers a world of perspective.

Kids’ play doesn’t need to be confined to just the same age.

Sure, there are times when you have to restrict some activities of play when physical aspects get involved or if it is just not safe for little ones, but most of the time, when the kids play, they are playing games and activities that are suitable for all ages.

Since there are kids older and younger than my first son, he will have the knowledge and skill to receive and provide instruction when he gets older.
​
A key takeaway from all of this is to expose your kids to mixed-aged play. That child two or three years older or younger than your kids, can still be a good playmate. They have a lot to learn from one another.

I’ve been wanting to write this blog for a while. 

As someone unconventionally hot, especially at night, I have a lot of thoughts on only fans. Using only fans can be the modern form of cooling off pent-up steam and saving money. 

My mind has been spinning, wondering if I should go for it. I’m aware that it all depends on the size, shape, location, and height of the models, as well as what people prefer. I know I can adjust to fit everyone’s needs, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

When I asked my husband for his input, he said, “Honey, well, that’s up to you. You should do it before you die. Son, what do you think about Mommy getting only fans? Step outside of your comfort zone is what I say.”

In the end, it’s all about the money, and that is essentially why I’m blogging to gather all of your thoughts. Don’t worry, this blog comes with pictures, so you can get an idea of what I’m working with. 

​

​**I know it seems like I'm a greedy, greedy girl to charge membership to a blog, but the blogging/emailing sites raised prices. I only need 14 more people to join to break even. Doug Wanoy will give you a $20 Starbucks gift card for joining.**

The beginning of the good news about KB, the son of Greg Bauer, as it is written in the prophet Jack Savage.


“I will send my messenger ahead of you, who will prepare your way - 
A voice of one calling in Wheeling, West Virginia, 
Prepare the way for KB, 
Make straight paths for him.”


And so Greg Bauer, the Antagonist, appeared in Wheeling, West Virginia, from New Jersey, just as his father-in-law, Jack Savage, always predicted he would, preaching of the New York Mets and Jets, Rutgers, and New Jersey. The whole Bethlehem countryside and all the people of Wheeling came to know him and learn that he was from the Garden State within two minutes of meeting him. Confessing their shoplifting thefts to him, they were metaphorically baptized by the spittle that often would fly from his mouth. Greg wore clothing of cut-off tees and baggy shorts, with no shoes on his feet, and he ate everything in sight with his mouth wide open. And this was his message, “After me comes the one more powerful than I, the buckles of his headgear I am not worthy to stoop down and unbuckle. I baptize you with inappropriate Tweets and juvenile jokes, but he will baptize you with poetic Yelp reviews, lyrical 500-character diatribes on why quarterbacks don’t deserve the vicirol they receive, and passionate prose on protocols.” 

​

Children often liked to come to the Bauer household to play with little Kyle. One day, Kyle wanted his friends, Derek (whom we called Noodle) and Shelton, to come over for him to place his hands on them (wrestle) and play with them. But his mom rebuked him. “I’m not going to be able to watch over you all.” 

Greg the Antagonist, who had been listening, said, “Let the little children come to me instead, and do not hinder them, for today is a good day for them to play. I will watch over them carefully.” 

The children were playing in the driveway with a Cozy Coupe. Shelton’s parents and Kyle’s mom were inside, talking. Now, this was a time long before Greg had invented his alter ego of Doug Wanoy, and a time long before cell phones distracted parents. So what Greg was doing, no one knows to this day. However, what happened next will never be forgotten. 

The boys were riding the Cozy Coupe from the top of the driveway to the bottom. The driveway was rather steep, and one wrong turn could have the autonomous automobile hurdling down the slope to the Taylor’s driveway. 

Greg was sitting on a beach chair at the top of the driveway when he saw Shelton veer off the driveway towards the Taylor’s retaining wall. Greg knew that he had to react quickly because Shelton was speeding and was dangerously close to crashing into the Taylor’s driveway. Greg sprang up and dove headfirst (there are no eyewitness testimonies besides those of 4-year-old children) to grab the back of the Cozy Coupe a split second before it crashed. Greg momentarily congratulated and prided himself for having such quick reflexes and being an excellent supervisor to young children. 

Unfortunately, though, when Greg grabbed the back of the coupe to slow the speeding car, the momentum of the brakes propelled Shelton forward, through the window, and into the pavement. 

Fearing for Shelton’s health, Greg shook aside his bruised body and pride to scoop Shelton’s mangled body from the pavement and rushed him to safety. He was taken to the ER by his parents. He didn’t have a concussion, but he did have head bruises. 

Once Shelton was stabilized and imminent death was no longer a possibility, Greg, the Antagonist, animatedly tried to protest that he, too, had almost paralyzed himself trying to be a hero, but nobody was happy with him. “What’s forgotten in history is that I almost died or was severely paralyzed myself trying to save a kid,” he persisted.

Nevertheless, the damage had been done. No one let the children come to him anymore. 

​

Scottie, one of the twelve friends in the neighborhood, had a frightened disposition. This boy lived in perpetual fear of the unknown. No one could alleviate his fears. No was calm enough to subdue him. Night and day among the hills of Bethlehem, he would cry out.

That’s the reason why it came as a shock to the other eleven when Scottie agreed to camping out in the backyard of the Taylor’s house. 

On the night of the campout, the older boys piled into tents with their pillows, sleeping bags, and flashlights. 

Greg, the Antagonist, who had been spying on the boys with KB, got a devious look on his face. “Let’s go to the woods and drive these fearful demons out of Scottie once and for all,” he snickered. 

Crouched behind bramble and twig, Greg, KB, and maybe Lauren Marie transformed into ghouls, goblins, and banshees with their terrifying noises echoing through the dark sky. Inside the tents, you could see the boys start to stir from their slumber and, in their stupor, try to pinpoint the location of the terror. Unable to, they started shrieking and fleeing into the house, but Scottie, with tears streaming down his cheeks, ran all the way home.

Greg, the Antagonist, animatedly tried to protest that he was trying to be a hero and drive out the fear in Scottie, casting those demons out into the forest animals, but no one was happy with him. “What’s forgotten in history is that I almost hurt myself trying to save a kid from his own demons,” he persisted.

Nevertheless, the damage had been done. Scottie was traumatized, and no one let the children come to him anymore. 

​

Two houses down from the Taylor’s house lived a couple- the Lopezes. One night, there was a birthday party for him. There was a lot of drinking and dancing. There was a pretty young girl at this party who greatly pleased Joel. Even though he was married, he promised to give this girl anything she wanted. At the girl’s mother’s urging, the girl said,  “I want that head of your neighbor Greg the Antagonist on a tray.” Then, Joel regretted what he had said, but because of the vow he had made in front of his guests, he issued the necessary orders.

But Joel was so drunk and it was very late and dark out that he mistakenly took his wife for Greg the Antagonist and ended up slashing her throat very deeply and repeatedly. Somehow, the wife lived and called 911. 

The police arrived at the scene and knocked on Greg’s door. Greg had just fallen asleep after watching the Blair Witch Project and was quite baffled by the cops at his door requesting a video camera to film the scene of the crime. He managed to hand it over and was deemed a hero, according to him, for helping law enforcement with the investigation. “What’s forgotten in history is that I almost stubbed my toe in the dark trying to help with a near-death experience,” he persisted.

Nevertheless, the jokes had been settled. The Taylors and all other neighbors teased Greg for thinking he was, yet again, a hero. 


*Okay, so obviously, the first part is made up, but, yes, our neighbor, who we always thought was a nice guy, tried to kill his wife. Luckily, she survived, and he went away to prison for a long time.* 

​

All of Greg’s antics paved the way for Kyle Dean (I guess that’s what we are calling him now) to perform even more outrageous farses and frolics. Greg walked, so Kyle could run. And with Kyle’s hiring at Barstool, Greg has been reborn, proving that there is eternal life in pranking, trolling, bits, and humor. Amen. ​